TL,DR: my boyfriend has made me feel awful at times and is overly focus on money. He was assaulted just recently and after being called a golddigger. The exoeykeft hik mentally vulnerable but I don't feel like I can offer comfort.
My ( F38) boyfriend( M42) isn't offering me emotional support. I feel empty sometimes. Good sex isn't everything.I've talked to him because there are times when he makes me feel like I'm settling. He finds it funny when I cry over these gs from my past, or dismisses my feelings when I get hurt because of his jokes ( saying things to make.ke jealous, making fun of my looks after I go to the salon).
We are very different, but that didn't affect us at the start. I come from a past where I had to work very hard to get respect from my peers and sacrificed many things to make a turn and create a startup. He's an avoidant and a laid back personality. We've had arguments because he never finishes what he starts and I'm frankly a bit tired of supporting his dreams so that he can drop them in a few weeks.
I don't know if this is valid, but I told him that he's now paying the price for not finishing college, not completing his community college education and also dropping out of a short course certificate class. He finds himself constantly starting over, and seething when his coworkers get a promotion. He got very angry, said that I'm being disrespectful and said that "he's internally powerful", whatever that means.
Because I believe work and pleasure don't mix and because we are not engaged or anything, I've been keeping my career and business progress very low key. It's not that I'm hiding it, but I don't want him to treat me different and prefer to be loved for who I am. Last year, I got a very large lump sum for my very first large contract. A few more clients poured in with similar terms. That allowed me to give my family the life of their dreams after so much sacrifice, in a huge home to hold 5 households and plenty of physical and financial security. I invested in scaling my business and saved a chunk. Locally ( I live in a different state from my family), I live a very regular life in a modest apartment and I'm very happy with it.
I've been concerned for a few weeks now. I couldn't control certain things, so a local company announced our agreement and a soft disclosure of the project value. Charles found out, like everyone who heard the news. I didn't feel good about him quizzing me. He doesn't understand that those 9 figures are destined to cover project costs and are a corporate investment. When I clarified, he jumped at the projected ROI that some accountant friend calculated. I won't deny that I've been struggling after that. My mind goes from trying to forgive his slight and thinking it's his lack of knowledge to feeling very offended.
Last weekend, his ex got into his face and confronted him about some money that he owes. I do know this. He smirked and two men whom I thiy might be her relatives manhandled him and tore his clothes "because he has no right to wear what she bought him". He ended up face up on the floor while they assaulted him. One of them yelled that he's nobody and a leech. I had to drive because he was sobbing. I'm very out off. Now I'm out of touch with him , because he's apparently using women. He wanted a hug but I couldn't bring myself to it. He says that I'm emotionally lurching him when he needs me the most. He can't sleep and he's not eating. I'm very confused as to how to proceed and just want to spend time by myself.
Should I just break up with him or should I talk it over and set boundaries? Please advise.
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