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Tuesday, September 12, 2023

I don’t know why I am so unlucky with dating and relationships

I’m quite attractive but the perpetually single one. Never been chased by a man that is kind and caring

Just trying to find a nice respectful man but I’m perpetually single and scared

When I was 25 f, I still hadn’t had my first boyfriend. All my friends were getting into relationships, whilst I only had men slightly interested in me or only wanted me for sex which I wouldn’t do with someone unless I know they wanted a relationsip.

That was until I met this man on a dating app. I’ve never had such flowing funny and flirty conversations. We had a connection which translates into a real in person connection too! We just clicked and he told me how much he fancied me (no man has ever done that.)

We became boyfriend and girlfriend and had so many fun and special times together. I had to plan all the dates as he was new to the country but I didn’t mind and it was easy for me. He was always telling me how lucky he was and that I’m special, kissing my forehead, we held hands everywhere we went. I felt so happy and confident and relaxed and looking forward to our future together. We just clicked and I was so happy doing fun things together like camping and picnics and boat trips. To have someone like me in that way too it was special and I really cared about him

But at 3 months, when he was meeting all my friends etc. something changed. All my friends are married and we’re pregnant or had children. My boyfriend asked me if I wanted kids in future and I said yes. And then he was like ‘oh no, I’m going to get a vasectomy. I didn’t realise you wanted kids one day. I fancy a child free life.’

He pulled away and became all cold and critical with me which was so upsetting as I’d fallen in love with him by that point.

At 6 months he dumped me. It broke me so much because I don’t know how I could find a partner again

And 2 years on, I still haven’t. I get constant dating app matches that lead nowhere. Men just talk to me for weeks and never ask me on a date. I get personal trainers at the gym asking me for my number, but they don’t seem like nice caring relationship type men and I don’t feel comfortable around them. I have constant men begging me to meet them for a drink, but they are guys that I know are compulsive liars or they don’t want kids or anything

I’m worried as I’m 28 now and I’m scared it’s going to get too late for me to ever have children. I really put myself out there

My male housemate the other day even said to me ‘isn’t it getting a bit late. People over the age of 30 have loads of complications in pregnancy.’

I’m even talking to a man on a dating app, we click but he’s not asking me on a date. He threw some date ideas and said ‘how about you come to me at the seaside, we play mini golf and get some fish and chips, but he’s not set a firm date for that suggestion.

I also went on a date from bumble the other day but he said he didn’t feel a connection even though the conversation was flowing

I don’t know what to do. I’ve always been the perpetually single one. I miss having a sex life too. My friends and family always wonder something is wrong with me

Me and my ex just clicked in so many ways, it just upsets me he freaked over the kids thing

I’m a very confident and friendly woman with my own things going on. Always keeping busy. I have a good sense of humour and I’m not argumentative. I’m creative and quite indie. I attract a lot of men, but only for sex and I don’t want that

tldr scared a relationship will never happen

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* This article was originally published here

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