I apologize if I go on a tangent here and there; there is a lot to know and only so much I can bring up about this.
My fiancé (M 25) and I (F 23) have been together for 3 years. We both have lived very different lives, where I grew up with plenty of money from both my separated parents and my fiancé lived with far less. We have rented an apartment together for the past year, and recently had to move out sooner than anticipated due to his type-1 diabetes being unmanageable and my depression spiraling. We've since been staying at his family's home, and to say things have been hectic would be an understatement. His family has financially struggled for a long time, with their lack of money inhibiting the ability to get back on their feet for many years. I truly do adore his family, and I want the best for them for as long as I'm here and longer, but their behavior recently has been stopping me in my tracks.
Two particular family members, his father and grandmother, were looking forward for us to leave our apartment and come live with them so we could support them with bills. The thing is I don't particularly have an issue with helping them financially, as I'm currently staying with them for free with my partner, but their comments have made me a bit uncomfortable. It's important to note that my fiancé's family are some interesting people, who have strong personalities and a strange way of going about life. They are very loud and are prone to yelling, talking over eachother, and just overall lacking awareness of things outside their own mindset.
For starters, my father-in-law and grandmother-in-law have been trying to be buddy-buddy with me, constantly trying to get on my good side, despite us having never properly had a conversation with one another. They have been been talking to me with the money sign glued to their eyes; the father has been nonstop mentioning how much money my fiancé and I will help contribute, with expectations that we will be staying with them for the long-term. The grandmother has been planning on having me tell my father to loan us money for a food truck so that the family can earn money this way; the worst thing about this? She hasn't even talked with me about it. For the past couple days, she has been randomly mentioning us getting a "truck" to make money, and I was clueless as to what she meant, until my fiancé finally told me; she has been forcing him to agree to this, trying to make this happen, and have him be the one to discuss this news with me. My biggest worry is she is getting too far ahead of this and might react poorly to me pushing this idea aside.
My father is a well-off attorney, but we have a strained relationship, and I don't feel comfortable asking him for something like this after he's already helped me so much with other financial problems. I'm very confused about my grandmother-in-law's views on this, as this is something that should be discussed with me, rather than passed along and only lightly mentioned around me. I have no idea how to go about this and convince her that my father will not be involved with this. It's also important to mention that she already has plans for other outrageous costs, such as building fancy toy-houses for my niece and nephew, and a whole kennel building for the family's 6 huskies.
My father has also not even met my fiancé and his family, as we live many states apart from eachother. I've contemplated talking with my mother-in-law about this, as she's the only sane one in this house and is aware of how they are. I want to make me being here work, but I worry that they're trying to use me and my family's money for their own benefit. They have asked my fiancé to have me give them money plenty of times, but he's always rejected them and I don't know about it until much later.
Any advice on approaching this would be greatly appreciated, as I worry I may be overreacting or looking at this the wrong way.
TL;DR: Since moving in with my fiancés family, the father and grandmother have been making financial plans on me greatly supporting them without my knowledge
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