After a life-changing spinal trauma, Ethan’s sexual relationships stopped … until he met Helen
How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously
All my muscles are spastic, so moving is difficult and takes a lot of energy – so we don’t do anything too active
You’ve got to have a good imagination to have a good, sexy relationship. Even talking about something we can’t do physically can be arousing
Continue reading...Hey,
I've been 29M dating my girlfriend 28F for a few years now, and we're actually planning to get married soon. However, a few weeks ago, I discovered something that's been bothering me, and I'm really confused about it.
I found out that she occasionally hides me from some of her Instagram stories. It's not a regular thing, and from what I can see, she's mostly hiding me from some memes she posts or quotes. You know the type—those vague quotes about "when people do this or that." Nothing related to our relationship, and never posted her pictures on these stories.
I decided not to confront her about it yet because I'm trying to understand why she'd do this, also i found out as a stalker with another account because it's been like 2 weeks she haven't posted anything and kept talking to me normally on IG!
Why would someone hide his boyfriend from memes or posts not even related to him, i feel like she's showing me a personality and posts with a second personality.
Is this a red flag, or could there be another explanation? am I overthinking this? I could really use some advice from the community.
TL;DR : GF hides me sometimes from her IG stories, mainly memes or instagram pages posts.
Thanks in advance for your thoughts!
Hi, my partner (25F) and I (30M) are going through are difficult time. In fact, I am not even sure how to describe our current status. We're long-distance. We met a few months before I moved to another country but I do come to visit about every 4 to 6 weeks (and then tend to stay for at least 1 week). One of the biggest challenges in our relationship is probably best illustrated via a current example (because it is fresh in my mind but the circumstances are of course especially difficult):
Recently, her father passed away. He didn't play a role in her life up until a few years ago. Since then they have built a relationship (talking on the phone about once a week, seeing each other for special occasions). He was sick but the death still came as a surprise. When it happened, I was in the country but not in her city. She called me and was of course devastated. Having recently experienced a close friend's father's death, I knew not to try and soothe her but to just give her pain room. And I think I did that. She got mad at me though saying things like: "Why does nobody else feel my despair" and "Don't try to take away my pain" (which I am pretty sure I did not do considering that I spent a lot of team researching how to talk to somebody that is grieving just recently). She seemed to want me to feel the same feelings as herself. I felt and still do feel tremendously sad for her and am pained knowing what she has to go through but I didn't know her father, so I do not know if I could possibly feel the same way as her. Basically the same thing happened again when she called me an hour prior to the funeral (which she said I shouldn't come to because I had already booked a train back to where I live -which I would have been happy to just not take). It basically ended with her saying that "she is so fed up with having to deal with men" and that "they never know how to be empathetic".
Now these circumstances are of course extreme but the underlying issue is one that keeps coming up in our relationship. She is upset about something or angry at somebody, I tell her that it's really understandable and really try to feel her anger too but it never seems to be enough. She tends to criticize me for how I respond in these situations which makes it only harder for me because I am now often afraid that I might "react incorrectly".
Should I be able to mirror her emotions more? Am I not being empathetic enough or is what she expects of me akin to wanting me to have no boundaries?
I am very confused about this issue. At times I think she is right to criticize me, at times I think she expects something of me that isn't healthy. Any thoughts are appreciated!
**TL;DR;**: To be empathetic in a relationship, do I need to mirror my partner's emotions (more) or is that an unhealthy form of not having boundaries, of not being separate people?
I have a higher sex drive than my bf
So for context me F(23) & my bf M(25) have recently moved in together after being long distance for about a year. We were both virgins when we met and are each others firsts for pretty much everything. I pretty much figured out early on that sex was an issue but i figured since we were virgins and each others firsts that we would just figure it out the more comfortable we became with each other and since our first time sex has definitely gotten better but i still have issues orgasming from just penetration but he has no issue finishing sometimes. This became a problem for me after awhile and ive now become sexually fustrated from not being able to orgasm sometimes so usually i wait till hes at work or doing something to just get off on my own. I feel like i have pretty high libido and can orgasm quite alot in just a day. Im usually always down to have sex when hes in the mood and let him initiate but im starting to think maybe i shouldnt have sex as often anymore just because i know my needs arent going to be met. Ive also tried having conversations with him about sex and how we can change it and we do have sex pretty often and toys definitely help but it either is always him finishing or he just doesnt finish and neither do i and we just stop having sex and would just cuddle or go back to whatever we were doing. I love him and want our relationship to be good but i just wished he matched my sex drive and we didnt need to have these awkward conversations about sex it just makes me feel shame for wanting more.
I also feel like prn has been an issue for him hes definitely an addict because ive seen his history and found prn a couple of times on his phone and i feel like this set an expectation for him on what sex is supposed to be like. Ive talked to him about it and even offered to watch p*rn with him just to help and switch things up. Hes also had conversations about him having insecurities about his size and shape and ive always reassured him that it didnt matter.
i always let him initate sex because i know that when he does that he wants to do it. Hes also made comments on how sex feels like a workout and a chore so he gets lazy with it. it definitely shows but he’s recently gotten better with attempting to try to make me feel good too after having a couple of conversations but he usually just gives up and even told me once that it was hard to please me so he just stopped trying. Ive done all i can to try and please him and i almost feel some type of resentment towards him and i dont want to feel that way anymore.
TL;DR basically my sex needs arent being met by my bf (25) and im feeling sexually frustrated even after having conversations with him about it and tried different things and feel shame for wanting more.
My girlfriend and I are together for 4 years. We moved in together 2 years ago when we found a good apartment for rent. I always knew she was a bit lazy, but I thought it would change when we had our own space and freedom. She has a lot of collective items, and her room would always be cramped with them, so I always assumed it was hard for her to actually clean around all that. I would often clean her things and reorganise her shelves and closets.
Well, when we moved in together, it was the same. She has so much space now, and cleaning the house regularly isn't a huge chore, but she doesn't do it. She knows I'm very sensitive on this topic because I grew up in a dirty household. I do most, if not all some days, of the chores and cooking. In our 2 years of living together she cooked for us only once. Every other time either I cooked or I helped her cook. I always have to remind her to clean the dishes, vacuum, clear the clutter. And when it comes to the bathroom, if it was up to her, it would not be cleaned for weeks. I like to clean the bathroom and toilet at least once a week. Vacuum every few days, and do dishes and organising the rooms daily. And laundry every few days as well. She thinks I have insanely high cleaning standards. This doesn't even encompass the deep cleaning, like cleaning bed sheets, windows, walls, dishwasher, etc (she never does those). I always either have to nag her to do it, or she would do 1 chore for the week, like do the dishes (we have a dishwasher so it's barely a chore), or remove some things from the living room, and would then expect me to be in awe. She never remembers to vacuum, or mop, or anything else that requires more work. Even on her free days. Before I go to work and she's free, I have to tell her to do at least one chore to take some weight off of me. And sometimes she doesn't even do it then. Or I come back from work and then she starts doing it.
We had so many talks about it, and I told her how horrible it makes me feel to live like that. She always comforts me about it, admits it, and promises she will try to do better, but then doesn't. And then when I point it out, she brings up 1 chore she did, or something else too. And now she's excused because she's trying. But it's been 2 years of this. How much longer do I need to be patient with her until she starts to do more?
I also feel like she never puts me first. Whenever she has a bad day, or feels sick, or anything that is an inconvenience to her. I try to make her a good meal, I often make meals that she loves. Or I get her a little gift, or I take her out. I feel like she only does that for me when I do it for her. Otherwise I don't get any form of thoughtful action. Only for birthdays or occasions like that. It makes me feel so unappreciated. So much so, I haven't cooked anything nice for her or us in weeks. I started dreading doing nice things for her because of this. And she always talks about how she wishes she was more thoughtful like me. Because it makes her feel loved, and she feels like I'm missing out. But then I comfort her about it, and she doesn't do anything. She doesn't even try.
I really love her, but recently I find myself resenting her a lot. And I feel so unhappy living with her. I am genuinely thinking of breaking up, it just hurts because we've been together for 4 years.This was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but now I am having different thoughts, and it hurts because I love her in every way, but living with her makes me so unhappy. I know this will hurt so much, but I don't know what else to do. I don't know if it's me with high standards, or her. I don't know what the cause of the issue is anymore.
Tl;dr : My gf (24) and I (f24) have been having issues in our relationship, mainly on household chores and acts of service. These issues have been going on for years, with many talks, but little actions, from her side mostly. At this point, it's built up so much in me, that I can't live like this any longer and am resenting her. This hurts me a lot, it makes me very unhappy to live with her, and I want to break up.
