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Monday, September 9, 2024

Boyfriend doesnt satisfy my sexual needs.

I have a higher sex drive than my bf

So for context me F(23) & my bf M(25) have recently moved in together after being long distance for about a year. We were both virgins when we met and are each others firsts for pretty much everything. I pretty much figured out early on that sex was an issue but i figured since we were virgins and each others firsts that we would just figure it out the more comfortable we became with each other and since our first time sex has definitely gotten better but i still have issues orgasming from just penetration but he has no issue finishing sometimes. This became a problem for me after awhile and ive now become sexually fustrated from not being able to orgasm sometimes so usually i wait till hes at work or doing something to just get off on my own. I feel like i have pretty high libido and can orgasm quite alot in just a day. Im usually always down to have sex when hes in the mood and let him initiate but im starting to think maybe i shouldnt have sex as often anymore just because i know my needs arent going to be met. Ive also tried having conversations with him about sex and how we can change it and we do have sex pretty often and toys definitely help but it either is always him finishing or he just doesnt finish and neither do i and we just stop having sex and would just cuddle or go back to whatever we were doing. I love him and want our relationship to be good but i just wished he matched my sex drive and we didnt need to have these awkward conversations about sex it just makes me feel shame for wanting more.

I also feel like prn has been an issue for him hes definitely an addict because ive seen his history and found prn a couple of times on his phone and i feel like this set an expectation for him on what sex is supposed to be like. Ive talked to him about it and even offered to watch p*rn with him just to help and switch things up. Hes also had conversations about him having insecurities about his size and shape and ive always reassured him that it didnt matter.

i always let him initate sex because i know that when he does that he wants to do it. Hes also made comments on how sex feels like a workout and a chore so he gets lazy with it. it definitely shows but he’s recently gotten better with attempting to try to make me feel good too after having a couple of conversations but he usually just gives up and even told me once that it was hard to please me so he just stopped trying. Ive done all i can to try and please him and i almost feel some type of resentment towards him and i dont want to feel that way anymore.

TL;DR basically my sex needs arent being met by my bf (25) and im feeling sexually frustrated even after having conversations with him about it and tried different things and feel shame for wanting more.

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* This article was originally published here

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