My girlfriend [24 F] and I [24 M] have been together for almost 5 years, and everything has been great. We're both 24, PhD students (in different fields) and live in California, but right now she's spending three months in New Mexico for a research trip. She's been there for a little more than a month, and I'm really starting to feel conflicted about some things.
When we talk on the phone, she tells me that most of her time is spent working, and outside of that, she says everything is pretty boring. She mentions they haven't been able to do much sightseeing or anything fun in NM because of their busy schedules. So, based on that, I was imagining her days being long and kind of dull.
However, she’s been posting a lot on social media, mostly about her research activity, but some of her posts paint a totally different picture. Basically every night she's been going to parties, bars and other events, and there are a ton of pictures with other guys. Most of them are group shots, but one that really threw me off was a picture of her in a swimsuit, being princess-carried by a guy, most likely another researcher since he also appears in her work posts, and the dude was clearly holding her up by grabbing her butt. I just can't shake the image from my mind.
Now, I don’t want to be the kind of guy who gets all possessive or jealous over social media pictures, and I don’t want to make her feel like I don’t trust her. Not even once before she left for the trip, or during the first days, has jealousy been a concern of mine. The only thing that got me anxious was missing her, but I was already planning to go visit her as soon as I could.
But at the same time, seeing these posts, especially the one where she’s being carried like that, has me feeling really off. I haven't said anything to her yet because I don't know if I'm overreacting or if this is a legit concern.
I respect her, I want her to have her freedom and fun, but I also feel like there’s a line that’s being crossed here. Am I wrong to feel this way? How should I even approach this without coming across as insecure or controlling?
TL;DR: My girlfriend is on a research trip in New Mexico, and while she tells me everything outside of work is boring, she's posting pics of herself partying with guys. One picture shows her in a swimsuit being carried by a guy holding her butt. I'm not sure how to handle it or if I'm overreacting.
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