Bf's sister doubled down on being a jealous brat and everyone sees it, but no one could do anything about it.

Hi. It's 3am in the morning. It's on my mind and I can't sleep, so I'm here to type my frustration away. Thank u in advance.

My bf (24M) and I (22F) have been together for almost 3 years now. He has 3 sisters, all of whom was shy to interact with me at first, since I'm his first ever relationship. Today, the older 2 sisters, 19 and 14, are as chill as an ice cube with me. The youngest sister though, C (13f), she's a different story. She was the most aloof when we first got together. Over the years, C and I were neutral, I came over to his house a lot, cooked for the fam, we bought C her dream kpop light stick for her bday and more. Point is - I tried. Anything from small talk, to spending more time, to inviting her out, to gift giving. She's always been "meh" about it, but hey, I'll take the tiny progresses. [ a bit of background about C: She grew up the youngest in a house of 5 children, her parents never disciplined her (sources are from the people living in this house themselves) and she has a history of yelling, stomping and slamming the door at the parents' faces when she doesnt like something. This is all recent and still happening btw, not 3 years ago one time incident. I hope it gives insight on how she normally behaves to everyone around her...]

However, recently, barely the past 6 months, we all feel like C doubled down for the worst. the vibe just changed, it went from neutral to hostile. Lots of passive aggressiveness, shes just straight up a b to me. - when we go out with just the 3 of us, me, bf and C, she'd only talk to him and exclude me. Every time we try to bring the convo back to being 3 people, she'd shut down, ignore us, then just pick up at where she left off with my bf. Even when I chime in, she'd go quiet, then just ignore it and continue talking to bf like I'm not there. - when we go out in our fam group, with all 3 sisters, bf and me, C would go into wall blocking mode. Every time bf turns his back to look at something, she'd scoot right in between me and him, then just walled me off. The entire night lol. - I'm fortunate enough to have a company car and gas card, living in CA, I always offer my vehicle whenever we go out, its a better economical choice. But I need a headcount of who's coming for insurance purposes should something happen. Well, instead of talking to me about wanting to come along, C basically snuck herself onto my car. She knew about the plan for days, I was in the same living room as her for the entire night, instead of talking to me and asking to come along, this kid just snuck onto my car and saw nothing wrong with it. We were waiting for her to ask to come along too. Nope. Nothing. She ignored me the whole night, then she walked in to my car like she owned it lol. That was the last straw for me.

Listen. I'm just frustrated and tired. I know she's being petty and bratty, but I wasn't going to enter into a cat fight with a 13 year old when she did that shitty jealous gf walling off move. Its comical as much as it is frustrating. I kept on thinking how she resembles every bad trait of the Kardashians girls growing up, turned out, she binged the show this year's summer and that was when her attitude has changed. Now She's entitled, disrespectful, mean, and just straight up a b word. She's not just mean to me, she's rude to everyone else too. The other 2 sisters talked to bf and I about it, bf and I also tried to talk a lot about it. I think the turning point for my bf and the 2 older sisters happened when C mocked of a haunted house actor for his profession, after demanding for everyone to go to the haunted house. From there, everyone has just been on the fence about C. They're convinced she just became a melting pot of all the Kardashians after the binge.

So, we are here. Bf and I talked a lot. We agreed on a few things we could say and do to combat her passive aggressiveness when it happens again. But im mad. I feel like now the responsibility falls on us to "fix" her and make her a better person. I know my bf is feeling that pressure. Their parents are done, they don't want to do anything anymore after all the drama and slamming doors, they just let her be. The other 2 sisters ignore C as much as they could now. She's just so very unpleasant to be around. I know I'm nothing to her, so it doesn't matter what I say, she ain't gonna listen. Bf tried talking to her though, blessed his calm heart he really tried, from pointing out her behaviors to just dropping a truth bomb that she doesn't have much friends because she's been acting like this. Her reaction is usually going quiet, walking away and locking herself in her room; when she'd emerge again, it was as if the talk never happened. She completely disregarded all of it and never addressed it. Every time she doesn't want to hear something, she just goes away. And just like that time goes on and it's been months of her being like this.

So yeah. Idk where to go from here. Keeping distance from her is ideal, I honestly have been doing that, until she invited herself into my vehicle. Bf does see the problem and he's troubled too, he doesn't know how to deal with her either. On one hand, we agreed that we have enough problems on our hands, we don't need to invite more by "fixing" her, it's not our job; but on the other hand, I do understand the sibling love, he worries for her and he just wants her to become a better person. But how do we communicate that with her when she's like this?? I don't think anything would go through to her thiccc skull right now.

Tldr: Bf's little sister turned into a jealous gf/sister against me after 3 years. I'm frustrated because it's literally not our job to "fix" her, all while she's doubling down on being a brat. She's not listening to anyone.

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* This article was originally published here

Am I (35F) being too sensitive?

My boyfriend (32M) and I (35F) have been together 13 months. We're LD and from two extremely different countries/cultures. I know his culture well, but he has zero experience with direct women from a country like mine. He's not fluent in English.

We recently got into an argument and he hasn't talked to me in nearly a week because I called him immature for stonewalling.

I've been having trouble with very dry lips and mouth in recent weeks, so during calls I was often trying to moisten my lips and salivating my gums as it was often uncomfortable feeling like everything was stuck together when trying to open my mouth.

I don't remember if I told him why I was doing it, but I started noticing him mimicking me when I do this during our calls. At first I wasn't bothered by it, but when he did it during our last call, he noticed I was upset by this because I couldn't figure out why he kept doing it.

He apologised in text saying he was only teasing me (as he said they tease in his culture when they like someone) and meant no harm, and I said that doing it once was fair enough, but to keep doing it, it felt like he was mocking me as he's done it during numerous calls now. I said, "how do I know you won't tease me about my insecurities?“, because he kept doing it during every call.

Everything seemed fine until I noticed he was becoming more distant. He finaly admitted 4 days later that he was bothered by that comment about insecurities and that he feels like he can't be himself anymore in case I take offense to something he says because I translate it wrong and negatively.

It turned into an argument through text. I told him I wasn't bothered by it until I noticed he kept doing it during every call, I said it wasn't necessary. I was starting to get annoyed.

What are your thoughts/advice and is this a dealbreaker?

Tl;dr: My boyfriend and I got into a text argument over something that could've been a misunderstanding and took offence to calling him immature for stonewalling over minor issues in arguments. Is it worth fixing/am I in the wrong?

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* This article was originally published here

Can you love someone who you think is a bad person?

There is this woman I have had strong feelings for. We are in the same PhD program. When I first met her, I thought she was friendly and innocent, but then she acted flirty to help her cheat in homework. I was not seeking her out, but she acted that way anyways.

We still became friends, but fast forward, we take a qualifier exam. I pass it and she does not. We become friends, 4 months pass and she has to take the retake. Only then, after a month of not talking, does she ask me for help when we had spent the past months talking like best friends. She assumed I was interested in her, so she never wanted to meet me in person, but at the same time she never wanted to study for the exam.

She passes anyways, but later on, she thinks I am interested in her, and after months of not talking to each other in person, she wants me to spend money on a trip for me to have a chance to be with her, even though I had never given her an indication I was interested in her.

Anyways, it doesn't work out, months pass, and we finally have class together, I avoid seeing her, weeks pass and I have to present to the class. I actually see her and I feel an intense depression. I have a feeling she is using drugs because she is depressed. After that, I do not talk to her, but for 2 weeks I have been so sick I cannot sleep or eat. I can barely handle it, I do not why I am feeling this way. I keep thinking that it is her own fault that she did not do well in school and that she is ruining her life.

She is an international student from China, and she always did things that gave me a lot of concern. She does not speak English well and she is extremely shy in person. She is very pretty, but the only interaction she seems to be able to have is with men who she thinks are interested in her. She is extremely awkward and I think she has autism (I think I have autism too, not a joke). I think she is extremely hedonistic. I am quite the opposite. I always did well in school. I do not know if I should care about her. She has treated me poorly and only got interested in me again after I said I was going to get a job (we were arguing, and she started to drill me pretty badly, so I came up with that just to not loose so much face after telling her I still cared for her). She has been trying to rekindle but I keep acting as if I do not know that. I am not sure if she has given up. Should I rekindle our relationship?

tl;dr Woman I have strong feeling for does bad things but I cannot decide to leave her.

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* This article was originally published here

Guy(M30) I'm(F26) seeing/working with told me he never felt like this before now ghosted me

I'm (F26) seeing a guy from work (M30). From the day we saw each other we couldn't stop flirting, after a month I asked for his number as he was keep going hot and cold. I knew he was/will be flaky, but I only wanted sexual relationship, so I didn't care.

Texting between us were quiet intense first week (sexting included). He knew what I wanted, but he asked me to take things slow as he wanted to get to know me better. Anyway he isn't into texting or social media so we'd chat for a bit, but every day, and I wasn't mad about it, because me too I'm not that much into texting, and we started going out.

I think important fact I met quiet a few friends of his, I also was introduced as a friend as we just started going out recently.

During the last outing a few days ago we fell out a few times...

Once for something silly and we laughed at it. The second time we fell out because he said something between the lines while we were kissing and getting touchy that he is in demand and that the same evening he received a message from a girl who wanted to sleep with him. I asked him why he's telling me that because it just ruined my mood. He said that from the day I asked his number he rejected every girl as he is serious about me/us. He apologized saying "he had a life before me", and he understand it wasn't the right thing to say....

After a few more drinks he started to talk about my living situation (I still live with my ex as he can't move out because of the finances and difficult housing situation). I said it was not the right time or place to talk about it as both of us were quite drunk and in public, but he kept pushing and asking about our possible future.

I like this guy, but I don't like his lifestyle, and he knows it. I tried to explain my point of view, but he got offended even though he said that I'm right and he likes my honesty also he added that I read him like book. He got emotional during our conversation, he started to tell me about his childhood and that all the men he was surrounded by lived like he does now. He said that he needs someone to change for, as he won't do it for himself. Also, he asked me how he could prove it to me. I just told him If I could see that his behaviour would change towards excessive partying, I'd like to be with him. I was truthful as he was and I told him back how much I liked him.

The next morning I sent him a message saying sorry if by any chance I hurted his feelings as it wasn't my intention also I added that I wanted to see him again, and just to get to know him better.

He texted me back saying that he was glad I was honest and that everything I said was true and that's why he felt shit. He said he want to carry on seeing me, and that he is going back to sleep. I responded with a smile emoji. Now is more than 2 days, he didn't text me, I didn't texted him. Tomorrow I suppose to see him at work, and I don't know what to do. During our last outing, he said 100 times how much he is into me, and that he never felt like this about anyone the way he feels about me. Keep in mind he is 30, and never had a serious relationship. He keep saying that he want to settle down and how much he likes my personality and me in general. Is he ghosting me now I don't understand.

TL;DR I'm seeing a guy from work. We were hanging out, drinking and having fun and he had a melt down, about his feelings towards me. I was honest with him why our future as a couple is questionable, he agreed with what I said, he also said that he want to prove me that he can change. Now he ghosted me for the last two days.

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* This article was originally published here

Sick and tired of my (26F) partner (29M) “keeping the peace”

I (26F) have been in some form of relationship with my partner (29M) for 10 years and living together for 8. He is my one “great love” for all of you greys fans. One HUGE issue that has affected me for the better part of the last 10 years is the discrepancy in how our families treat the respective partner. TLDR at the bottom because this is LONG.

I have a VERY strained relationship with my family 90% of the time. However. They have always treated my partner as a member of the family and welcomed him with open arms. There is a running joke that even when they don’t like me they’ve always loved him. He even stayed with us the first COVID Christmas and my family absolutely rallied with gifts (normally partners just get an inclusion on the card and a token wrap up) so that he wouldn’t feel like crap on the day when myself and my brother had gifts and he just had mine and a few token bits.

My in laws, on the other hand, have never liked me and everyone knows it. SFIL is ambivalent towards me at best and just blindly follows his wife. I first met them 9 years ago when my partner invited me to stay at their house with him in the summer. During that time my MIL (50s F) decided that I was smelly, because I didn’t shower enough - I, at the time, had BRIGHT BLUE hair and was terrified of staining her bathroom, so whilst I actually showered every day, I only washed my hair every other day and apparently that meant I wasn’t showering. This information was relayed to me after the fact alongside the fact that apparently she thought I was a “lazy {female dog}”. She was nice to my face.

We live several hours away so seeing her has never been an issue. I used to show up when I needed to show up and be polite, but that gets draining fast. I would also always buy gifts at Christmas that rarely went acknowledged much less reciprocated. My partner for the longest time would say absolutely nothing to his mom when she started slagging me off because he wants / wanted to “keep the peace”. This went on for a few years until we had a screaming argument where I told him I couldn’t take it anymore and I wanted out purely based off that and the way it had slowly worn me down over the years.

The double standards came in when his younger brother got his first, more serious girlfriend. She was seemingly welcomed in to the family with open arms and that stung a little but I wasn’t bothered really. It was actually my partner who picked up on, and took issue with the double standards there. Some of which included:

1) I was snarked at / almost berated for choosing not to wear makeup to go out to dinner in torrential rain. BILs ex never wore any to any sort of dinner / outing she went on with them and had nothing said to her.

2) MIL invited BILs ex to go on holiday with them / be with them at family events / come over for Christmas but made it very clear recently that I would not be welcome on their upcoming trip / family events etc.

3) I was told I had dressed inappropriately in the house but again BILs ex and I had a very similar fashion sense. The only difference was she was thin and I am not.

And it’s now gotten to the point where even my partner cannot deny that there is clearly an issue.

However he refuses to confront her about it because “he wants to keep the peace” and “nothing is going to change because this is how she is”. But I told him ca. 7 years ago that I didn’t want to marry him because of how he lets his family treat me, and now it’s something that’s seriously on the cards for us I need him to step up because what I said all those years ago still stands. We’ve also had a few pregnancy “scares” recently and I would NOT be comfortable with my child being around any of them for any length of time, especially without me, because I couldn’t trust their dad to step up if they randomly took a dislike to my child because they’re mine. And I need help communicating this to him efficiently because nothing I’m saying atm seems to make sense to him. He has recently agreed to ask her what her problem is next time they speak but he is putting that off.

TLDR - my partner of 10 years’ family has always treated me like garbage and had massive double standards when it comes to me vs the other partners. I don’t want to marry / bring a child into a family like that. How do I tell my partner he cannot carry on “keeping the peace”?

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* This article was originally published here

Protecting your health at the holidays: Avoid 'extreme stress' in relationships - WJXT News4JAX

Protecting your health at the holidays: Avoid 'extreme stress' in relationships  WJXT News4JAX

* This article was originally published here

My fiancé (22M) wants me (22F) to forgive his family for calling me a demon, amongst other things

Hi everyone. My fiancé and I have been dating for almost three years and I had moved in with his family during the Covid phase about a month into our relationship. I understand things moved fast, however it sort of fell into place as I was a student living in a dorm and the dormitories were closing due to the Covid breakout and we thought it would be nice to stay with the family and get to know them for a few weeks.

I (22F) had been living with a cousin due to family troubles and haven’t had a stable home. After some time with my fiancé and his family, I saw stability and love in them so I decided to go for the move.

My fiancés (22M) mother is hardcore religious catholic with the statues and everything. I don’t mind this but she happens to push her religion hard on everyone around her.

Fast forward to September 2022, I was a recent graduate looking for job opportunities. Where we were residing the job market was almost nonexistent and I was left unemployed and looking for work for a few months. I brought up the topic of moving up north to his sister's house to find a job up there. They quickly turned down the conversation due to my fiancé already holding a minimum wage down south and that we needed to leave together.

I was already receiving messages from interested parties regarding opportunities up north so I felt strongly about making this move. I wanted to start making money so that I could start building a future with my fiancé. Aside from all that, ten of us lived in a single-family house. His brother stayed in the basement, his sister and her three kids in a single room, us in one room, and his parents in the master bedroom. Needless to say I needed space to start my career and future.

My fiancés family believes in strong family ethics and they do everything together. His brother, dad, brother-in-law, and uncle all drive trucks. His sister stays at home to watch the kids and his mother has been a stay-at-home mom since he was born. I have this feeling that they want me to follow in their steps and settle down and have kids while my fiancé works hence then stopping me from leaving.

Eventually, I found a job up north that gave me a generous offer well over my starting range and my cousin happened to be moving into her own apartment in the area. I decided to take the leap and told MIL a couple of days before moving out in the middle of September and I would be making the move for the job. Literal moments before telling her about the move, she came rushing home and asked me to babysit her grandkids for the day and abruptly told me that she will be going up north for gastric bypass surgery and wont be back until the day after I would have already moved out. The thing was I had already taken the job offer and needed to move up north at a certain time. We have known that she would be getting the surgery, however, they needed her to go for some testing the day before and dropped the bomb on me out of nowhere.

As my MIL was packing with her daughter, I dropped the news to her and she did not take it well and passive-aggressively told me 'good luck' before leaving with her daughter for the testing. Not five minutes after that she called my fiance at work and told him I would be leaving to go cheat on him and that I can't be trusted and wanted me gone by the next day. I had enough of the drama and everything else and packed what I could for the day. During the whole day, my fiance and his family had back-and-forth arguments over the phone over me. they called me a demon, that I can go to hell, useless, not right for him. His brother threw me under the bus and snitched to his mom that I was bisexual and smoked weed (although I had been clean for 2 years) just to add fuel to the fire. His dad called him stupid for staying with me.

Everyone sort of piled onto me to make me look bad towards his MIL and everything was just going downhill. My fiance admitted mistakenly over the phone when he thought it was muted that I've made him the happiest in his life and that his family makes him miserable. At this point, my fiance was facing eviction and I was willing to take him with me to my cousins. He had to call his job to tell him he was kicked out and wouldn't be going back. His sister made a jab that if my fiance wanted to end up without family like me by leaving, which I thought was very uncalled for.

After hours of agonizing arguments and realizing that they would be losing their son, they were saying that they were sorry and to please don't go that they she will die without her son. I ended up having a heart-to-heart with my fiance and told him to please stay for the sake of keeping his family otherwise he would lose them for good, and I didn't want to be the reason that they broke apart.

Fast forward to today, his MIL has fully recovered from her gastric bypass, and wants to make amends with me. During the two months I've been away from their home, I had broken up with my fiance due to the stress and panic attacks I would get from his family. We got back together after a week and decided to try to heal things. The problem is this: His mother is famous for saying the worst things she can say to someone, apologizing when she is no longer mad, and then repeating that cycle.

Because I don't have much family, I was happy to take in my fiances family as my own. They owned ten dogs that shit and pissed everywhere, I would always vacuum and mop and clean and help tutor his sister's kids. I was always supportive and the moment I decided to move toward my own life, they pushed back. At this point, I feel like my relationship with them is beyond repair as it would require me to allow them to continue to step on me when they choose to, and I don't think anyone would be offering a sincere apology other than her mom, who is bound to repeat the cycle again.

My fiance wants me to speak with his mom so that our issues are resolved. I still feel very hurt and don't want the issue to be pushed under the rug like I know it will be. His other family members are very stubborn in their belief that they are right and I'm confident that they will see nothing wrong in what they have said to me. It is easy to just leave my finance and turn away from this mess, however, I feel devastated that something that is out of my fiance's hands is what would end our relationship.

TLDR; My fiance wants me to speak with his mom to resolve our relationship after she called me some nasty names. I feel strongly against it.

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