What is 'spider-webbing'? Relationship experts tell all about VERY toxic dating trend - and reveal how YOU can - Daily Mail

What is 'spider-webbing'? Relationship experts tell all about VERY toxic dating trend - and reveal how YOU can  Daily Mail

* This article was originally published here

I (27f) am confused with what this guys (26m) intentions are

I first met this guy about 6 years ago we were both in a relationship. We talked a couple times as friends. We were barely acquaintances. Fast forward to this year, we now work together and see each other briefly once a week. He’s higher ranking than me where I work and kind of unofficially my boss. We matched on a dating app and went on a date, it went good.

The next week we went on another date. He was very kind and chivalrous…opened the car door for me all the time, let me hold his hand, paid, even asked to take a picture together... we went back to my place, hung out and etc etc. I was going to be spending thanksgiving alone that weekend, so he stopped by my place with a plate of food for him and me to have a thanksgiving dinner together.

Fast forward a couple weeks..I asked him to hang out again. I went over to his place and we went on a walk and watched a movie, he cooked for me and we just hung out.

The thing is…when we’re not together there’s NO communication. We don’t talk. We don’t text. It’s like we don’t exist. His job is pretty busy, but he’s also the type of person to almost never be on his phone/a bad texter.

But when we’re together it’s great. He always asks me about myself, kisses me a lot (head, cheek). When we were cuddling watching a movie, I fell asleep and half woke up to him rubbing my head, playing with my hair, kissing my head. He asks about kids and jokes about my good genes.

I’m just so confused as to what his intentions are. When we’re together it seems like a he’s super into me but when we’re not it’s zero. I’m 100% positive that there’s no other girlfriend in this situation.

Tl;dr when I hang out with this guy everything is perfect but when we’re not physically together we don’t talk.

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* This article was originally published here

My [30M] narcissistic ex-friend [30M] won't leave me alone

Hi all,

Really need advice on this one.

I have a former friend we'll call Mike, who I decided not to be friends with anymore around a year ago because he's an abuser. The problem is he is in our friendship circle and keeps bad mouthing me to friends. He just won't let it go and now blames me for 'disappearing'.

A bit of history:

At first, Mike came across as a bit narcissistic (always talking about himself, rarely engaging about others), but then I discovered he was physically and emotionally abusive to his then-girlfriend. His girlfriend left him and blocked him on everything, and this was my first hint, then I heard that the neighbours had been called and various other things.

After their breakup, Mike began to be emotionally abusive to me and other friends, insulting me at random times, talking down my achievements, mocking my career choice, talking bad about me behind my back. He also began to chronically lie about everyone. "That friend who was going to live in Europe? Oh, he had a mental breakdown and came home" (No, he had a girlfriend back home and wanted to stay with her). "That other friend who moved away. Oh, she went MANIC and left." (No, she got a prestigious job offer and left).

I have a personal rule in my life that I don't stay friends with abusers. I have been abused before and it's a red line that I'll never cross. I'm stronger now. Abusers need to be behind bars and in therapy, not friends with me. I confronted Mike about his abusive behaviour towards me and others. He refused to apologize, tried to gaslight me, and ruined my birthday among other things.

So, I decided to never talk to him again. This was a year ago. Mike is still friends with all of my close friends. I've tried to talk to my close friends about him but it's like talking about Santa Clause. They kind of believe me and have seen some of it, but they still want to be friends with him. That's fine, the problem is that now Mike keeps bringing me up to them, saying I disappeared on him etc. I've decided to ignore all of this and continue to not talk to him. I believe that this attention-seeking strategy is designed to get me to talk to him again, so I have decided to stay strong.

But how do I get him to leave me alone?
TL;DR; I discovered my friend was abusive to his gf and others, and cut him out of my life. Now he is badmouthing me to people in our friendship circle. How do I get him to leave me alone?

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My boyfriend's best friend has access to his phone!

Today my boyfriend (M, 24) (we've been dating for 5 months) told me that a certain reply to one of my texts was actually sent by his best friend (M, 24) because he has access to his phone. When I raised an alarm about this stating that it made me uncomfortable, he said that's how their equation is but now that he is aware I'm not okay with it, he'll ask his friend to not open our chats again.

He found nothing wrong in it but I felt really weird because then we don't have any privacy in what we talk about. He apologized for letting his friend access our chats and said he won't let it happen again.

Should I be bothered with this because I feel it shouldn't have been allowed to happen even once? What if it happens again and he just doesn't tell me or maybe it has happened before too? Am I overthinking and should just take his word for it?

TL;DR- My boyfriend (M,24) let his best friend (M,24) respond to my text (access our chats) and it made me feel really weird. Should this bother me if he said he won't let it happen again? It feels like a privacy concern.

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I (26F) ended my relationship with him (24M) which I truly wanted to last. How else I could’ve reacted?

I (26F) got in a relationship with him (24M) in 2021. Everything was too well in the beginning because he was giving all that attention, he understood me, showering all that love and told some of his friends about me. He’s the one who proposed, he’s the one who talked about marriage, he made all the first moves and i was into him because of this as my idea of dating is to marry. I can’t date people out of boredom, if I’m in a relationship with you, i see it in long term.

We had our shares of ups and downs, but things got worse 3 months back when i got to know about his Insta account which was deactivated even before i got in a relationship with him. I was shocked because ever since I knew him, he was using some other account, and suddenly i see a new account with around 600 followers and 300 followings on insta.

So i asked him, what is this account for and why haven’t i seen it before. He said it’s his original account which is like 5-6 years old, he deactivated this few years back and just few weeks ago he activated it again BUT he’s not using this account. It’s just existing.

This was hard to digest and i saw two of my juniors being his mutual friends (let’s call them A and B) on this account. So i texted A how she knows him? She said “he had a thing with B, so through her only i followed him”.

I was devastated because this person “B” is also my junior and my boyfriend never ever mentioned anything about her before.

We made things very clear about our pasts and i thought we’re honest with each other but he just lied and hid things from me.

I asked A to dig a little more and let me know the full story. A tells me, that he’s a guy who was always after B for hookups but she never agreed with him because she liked him and wanted something serious. And the last they talked was few weeks back on this same account.

I broke down. I was devastated and my anxiety peaked! He lied to me about his past involvements, he lied to me about not using this account, and it brought back all the past trauma i went through in my past relationship. I felt betrayed once again. I got all the screenshots from A about his last conversation with B asking for hookups and sent them to him and confronted him.

His side of story is: He just met B once few years back before i came in his life, they just kissed on the first meeting and never met again because he didn’t like her. B was always desperate and would text him in every 5-6 months out of nowhere. He was tired of shooing her away so he thought of acting desperate as B wanted something serious. So he thought if he’ll act desperate, she’ll go away eventually. He made sure to provide me with all the proves, screenshots, his passwords and what not and he did everything he could to prove his innocence which I appreciate on his part.

I believed him, and i thought of giving this another chance because he was adamant that his feelings are never wrong for me and he did what he had to.

Now even after 3 months, that insta account is still active. I asked him to delete it, not deactivate but delete it. Because now it makes me insecure and he lied to me about not using it before so I don’t trust him even if he’s saying he don’t use it. I had a discussion with him and told him that for the sake of this relationship he HAVE to leave his past people behind if he sees a future with me. That’s the least he can do after the fuck up he did. He agrees to it but on one condition that i delete my insta too.

Now idc, i can happily delete my insta. If any of my social media is creating an issue with my personal life, I’m more than happy to delete it. But then he says that i gotta delete my account first, and then he’ll delete his. This is where i lost it.

First of all, you fucked up our relationship even if your intention was not to, but you did, on top of that, you are not in any position to put conditions on me that i should delete it first. This turned into an argument and i told him that I can’t pretend each day that things are fine and I can’t happily settle with this reality that you were asking for hookups while being in a relationship with me, be your intention anything!

Each and every day is so difficult for me because I’m having issues in forgetting this. He betrayed me. I felt cheated. I’ve made you the attention of my world and you’re making me feel like an option.

My whole family also knows about him, and he couldn’t even tell B that he was in a relationship to shoo her away, instead he chose to act desperate. He didn’t tell anyone in his family about me. He never even posts about us.

Now I’m getting the tag of mental instability and insecure, immature person just because i fail to mend myself according to him. He hurt me and he’s expecting me to follow his conditions.

What the hell am I supposed to do if me arguing over this is wrong. Because to him I’m the worst person ever who doesn’t understand him and don’t act my age. To me which sounds like gaslighting and manipulation at it’s best.

I’m losing my sleep and my will to live because I’m truly broken and I don’t wish such traumas even on my worst enemy. I feel like he gives more importance to other people now rather than what i think or feel. I feel like a stranger in my own relationship.

TLDR; Boyfriend messed up and i asked for something basic to fix the issue but he’s putting conditions

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To support Israel right now, tap into deep relationships - eJewish Philanthropy

To support Israel right now, tap into deep relationships  eJewish Philanthropy

* This article was originally published here

Date Nights Keep Relationships Fresh - Next Avenue

Date Nights Keep Relationships Fresh  Next Avenue

* This article was originally published here