The Guy (39,M) I (30,F) Like Is Sponsoring The Mother Of His Children

I (30,F) really like this guy (39,M) I met online but know I should not be subjecting myself to this world of chaos. We have been dating for about a year give or take.

He’s 39, has two children, and lives at home with his aging parents. In addition, the mother of his children is living with them as well, along with the two children. She isn’t a citizen of the country and doesn’t work so he feels obligated to support her for the sake of the children. According to him, she’s disrespectful, lazy and unappreciative to him and his family. He says their relationship has been over for a while, that he is not attracted to her and does not want a relationship with her. They are not together and both date other people.

Due to the fact that she is not a citizen, he’s in the process of legally sponsoring her, to ensure she can remain in their children’s lives, as they have autism and have grown very attached to their mother. The mother of his children does have family in the country but he says he does not want her living with them and risk having his children growing up in a bad neighborhood considering she’d have the children full-time while he works.

I really do like him, but know and understand I’m getting the really short end of the stick and this probably isn’t going to work out long-term. I can’t go over his house, won’t be able to get married or have children of my own with him. It absolutely sucks, because when we’re together, we have such a great time and spend so much time laughing with one another. But ultimately the cons outweigh the pros. I should also mention he’s been to jail in his earlier days and works, but money is always tight. Him having a criminal record does not make it easy for him to secure a job that pays more, which means I’m always paying for things. It doesn’t really bother me only because I’ve never been with a man who has or could provide for me, so I’m used to spending a lot money while dating.

Truthfully, a part of me thinks I may like him out of desperation and loneliness (I’ve been dating for a while with no success) but also has genuine interest in him, enjoys spending time with him and remains hopeful, stupidly. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but I don’t know. It’s probably in my best interest to remain friends and seek to date other people. I just feel a little stuck. Please don’t be mean to me. I’m obviously a little delusional and wear my heart on my sleeve lol.

For some reason, I equate sponsoring her with marrying her in my mind, because he’d be legally responsible for her for 10 years according to his lawyer. I even told him he might as well marry her.

TL;DR : The guy I like, is legally sponsoring the mother of his children but says he loves and wants to be with me.

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I (38M) dont wish to socialise with my dad (57M)

Never had a great relationship growing up, he has never been one for talking much and was quite strict as we grew up, were never really that close.

I am 38, he is 57, the relationship has been 38 years obviously.

Fast forward many years and i now have a daughter which is his granddaughter. For context he lives 5 minutes down the road and is of fine health, still works full time and has nothing else really going on.

He makes literally zero effort with his granddaughter, he will text once a month/2 months to catch up BUT always expects me to take my daughter to his.

When i get there he basically doesent talk, doesent interact with her and usually seems in a hurry to be going out somewhere for shopping or something.

For christmas he got me and my daughter presents and decided to just exclude my partner for some reason (who i have been with for 15 years). Then it was my partners birthday and she didnt get a text or anything, just literally zero effort.

He has since contacted me to go out for a few hours to 'catch up' one day but i dont think i want to make the effort given he makes zero effort with the 2 most important people in my life.

TLDR:

Do i make the effort to go and socialise with my dad given he makes zero effort with the 2 closest people to me including his own granddaughter?

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I (28f) found out the my partner (29m) was still in a relationship with his wife when we started dating. Is there a chance we can rebuild the trust?

Me and my boyfriend have been together about 8 months. The day after our first date he told me he was still married but separated and had a daughter. Things have been going really well, we are really loved up, love spending time with each other and things seemed perfect. However, I have had concerns that him and his ex hadn’t been separated as long as he said (he told me 7 months before meeting me). There were some signs, of them not having established a healthy co-parenting relationship.

Eventually after asking and questioning (which I am not proud of), he told me they had actually only separated 3 months before meeting me & was still living in the family home until meeting me. I was hurt, but began to move forward.

Fast forward to now when I am meeting his child, ex wanted to meet me first which I agreed. She then told me that they had separated after an event he went to, which I had met him before he went.

I didn’t tell her, as she believes we started dating after they split. And I didn’t want her to hurt the way I do because she doesn’t deserve it. I have told him I am most hurt he let me find out this way. He says the relationship was over a long time before, but he was stuck, he has tried to leave before but went back out of guilt. He says in his head they were split up.

We had just moved in together, and signed a tenancy together before I found this out.

I love this boy, but I don’t think I will ever trust him. Has anyone ever been in this position before? Can anyone help me see from his point of view?

TL;DR - boyfriend was still married when we started dating and let me find out the truth from his ex wife

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* This article was originally published here

MIT Course Enhances Social Connection, Relationships, and Happiness - India Education Diary

MIT Course Enhances Social Connection, Relationships, and Happiness  India Education Diary

* This article was originally published here

When me [25M] and my gf [24F] of 4 years fight, I feel like she always wants her way or no way.

I'm 25, my gf is 24. I love her to the moon and back and I want to spend my life with her. We have the same vision for the future. This is the first serious relationship for both of us. We started dating at the beginning of 2020 after she had a crush on me for years before. Currently, we live in different cities (200 km apart) due to studies. This has been the case for the last 2,5 years. We are planning to move in together in 6 months.

Anyway, we just had a big fight when she came to visit me for the weekend. It started with such a little thing and I tried to make things right so many times, even offering her food 3 times, but she would just tell me she was not interested and lock herself in the bedroom for the whole day. It drained my energy and I got super frustrated because she would not cooperate at all. I told her that I felt like it did not make sense for her to come all the way here just to fight and pout alone and we should make things right. She then proceeded to book a train back home the next morning and told me that she would rather leave then. I feel so hurt by this. A nice weekend after missing her so much was ruined and now I'm left alone and sad just cause she was not interested in making up. I don't know what to do now. She did not even look at me when she left. Do I wait for her to contact me?

It's like this most times we argue about something, I feel like she will not meet me halfway at all and the fights only seem to end if I apologize. I know she grew up practically always getting what she wanted, and I've tried to tell her that's not how relationships work and it makes me feel like my wants and needs don't matter at all. She seems too proud to admit something is "her bad". Sometimes she realizes she's been mean to me like a week later and apologizes then.

**TL;DR;** : My gf will not meet me halfway in solving arguments. She stays mad until I apologize, even if I've done nothing wrong. Does anyone have experience with these kinds of issues? I'm lost.

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I (28M) had a fight with my GF (26F) over me playing video games and not spending time with her

I want to preface this by saying this is my first long term relationship. So please point out anything I am thinking and doing wrong so I can learn from my mistakes.

Background is me and my gf live in separate cities. We’ve been together for almost a year. Long distance is rough but we talk everyday and usually video chat and have virtual dates on weekends (watch movies together etc). Generally we have great relationship with occasional fights that I guess looking back doesn’t get 100% resolved.

Today was an important day for my GF, she had a big exam that she had prepped a long time for. I called to wake her up, spoke with her until she went inside, called her again after the exam. We then agreed to video chat on our computers and relax after she went to get food and went back to her place. Before she hung up to get food, I briefly mentioned I might play some games, and she said don’t, spend time with me. I said yeah my intention was just kill some time, my plan is to have the virtual date with you. I also said okay, I won’t play games. I didn’t take her request that seriously.

After I hung up I figured I had a bit of time to kill, so I played video games for 30-40 minutes. During that time I didn’t check my phone. And she sent me a few messages, last one was asking if I was gaming. I didn’t take it seriously, so I just replied haha yeah. I’m done playing. Ready to chat when you are. She was upset and told me go date my gaming friends since we can eat and game together but I won’t spend time with her. I explained I planned tonight to video chat, but since we never said a specific time, I was just gaming to kill some time but I just was too absorbed to not check my phone for half an hour. Anyways this led to a long argument, which I’ll summarize our perspectives below.

Her issues with me: I went back on my word for her (said I won’t play games), I refuse to apologize and make her feel better (I felt angry that this should be a non issue), a couple of other issues that popped up in our earlier fights.

My issues with her: I feel like she made this to be way bigger deal. I was already spending/planning to spend most of my day with her. Think she blew this out of proportion and made us both unhappy.

I tried to get us to move on. We ended up video chatting for an hour, she turned her camera off, was passive aggressive, didn’t say much when I tried to have a conversation. She played music in background loudly. She’s never done any of this before. Eventually after one hour I had enough and turned off the chat. She then called me and we argued for another hour.

TLDR: played video games for 30mins after telling gf I wouldn’t. Got in a huge fight that escalated and want to know what went wrong and how to avoid future fights.

We just seem to be unable to see eye to eye on this situation. I think it’s not a big deal but she thinks I’m being inconsiderate and going back on my word. The truth is I didn’t pay much attention to her when she said not to game (like when your parents say go do this and you reply yeah ok). I realize my mistake in not taking that request seriously. After our fight, I really regret not making more of an effort to let my anger and feeling aside, and apologize and make up to her, especially since she was drained after a big exam. I apologized to her for not really listening to her request, for being inconsiderate, but I told her I didn’t want to apologize for saying she blew this out of proportion. Am I truly an asshole from this situation? Am I wrong in trying to diminish this situation, in thinking it’s not a manifestation of bigger issues as she suggests?

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M 20, Crush F 20 asks for advice on her past relationship

Crush texts me out of the blue, when we ended up unfriending eachother on social media and asks of advice on an relationship from which she can't move on.

she doesn't wants to meet me or also call she just wants to text and says if we meet she couldn't handle her talking about him she wanted an closure but couldn't get one and she got stuck in between. She wants to talk to him but his family members are not letting her to get in touch. And she is disturbed.

what should I do and is there any reason why me?

Important thing we tried dating eachother but couldn't happen due due to multiple reasons..

tl;dr: "I'm in love with her since an yr"

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