Project Blue Light to Deter Crime, Build Relationships WGRT Local News
* This article was originally published here
Monday, April 4, 2022
Sunday, April 3, 2022
Blind date: ‘At one point he asked if I had hairy armpits’
Abigail, 27, designer, meets Ryan, 30, telecoms engineer
Abigail on Ryan
What were you hoping for?
Somebody who doesn’t take themselves too seriously but is still ambitious, like-minded and up for a laugh.
* This article was originally published here
Saturday, April 2, 2022
please could someone give some help
tl;dr - i love my boyfriend but can’t stop thinking about my ex who i’m actually completely over. does this mean i’m not ready to move on, what can i do?
So I have a new boyfriend. We have been friends for about 8 years prior and have now had a romantic thing for about a month. I honestly have never ever felt this way about anyone.He is absolutely perfect in every way and i genuinely love him so so much.
BUT. prior to him i was single for about 7 months and before that i was on and off with a guy for around 4 years. by the end of things with my ex i was not in love with him at all and i knew we weren’t right for each other and that i didn’t and never again wanted to be with him romantically. to be honest when we broke up i actually felt relieved and didn’t cry or feel that sad - if anything i missed the friendship and what we used to have but i just wanted to move on from him. Me and this ex for the last 7 months of not being together, we wouldn’t speak for a few weeks then would just send the odd message to be like ‘hope your doing okay’ or we would have the odd catch up phone call. if anything i think this was a comfort thing because of such a long attachment and for me no feelings were involved. In these months, even though i was over him and didn’t miss the relationship with him at all, i did feel jealous if i thought of him with someone else. not because i wanted him for myself but because i felt replaced and i wanted him to want me and him being with another girl made me feel a bad way. idk why??? it sounds toxic ik.
anyway, so now i’m with my current boyfriend, i have none of this jealousy about my ex anymore and i have no desire to speak to him but for some reason i can’t stop thinking about him??? like a song comes on when i’m with my new boyfriend and i’ll think of my ex and feel sad, or i will compare everything my new boyfriend is doing to him.
I don’t know why i’m doing this because i don’t love or miss my ex at all and i love my new boyfriend with my whole heart. i just can’t stop thinking about my ex now and it’s stressing me out so much. I was worried it means i’m not ready to move on but i felt perfectly happy single and had done for a while so i don’t know why that would be the case? i also don’t feel as though it’s an issue with my current relationship because my boyfriend makes me feel a way no one else ever has. could it mean i’m not fully healed from my past relationship (it was traumatic during) and that i’m not ready to move on? or is it an opportunity to heal? please help.
does anyone know why im thinking about my ex and what it could mean? and how to stop so i can enjoy my new relationship?
ps. if it is any relevance i have experienced ROCD before and i would say i have anxious-avoidant attachment style
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* This article was originally published here
Friday, April 1, 2022
Am I (25f) being unreasonable demanding validation from my partner (30m) that he considers me an equal partner?
TL;DR at the bottom of the post. Thanks in advance for any/all insights.
We've been in a really rocky state since the pandemic... it keeps circling back to my need for reassurance that he views me as an equal partner.
I'll admit that I've been depressed and had low self esteem basically since our honeymoon phase ended (5 years ago, 3 year honeymoon phase tyvm). Although he's not completely the responsible for my poor sense of self (lots of other factors did that) he definitely did not help me. I tried to break up twice during the pandemic but we would agree to stay and try and work it out because I felt like I was being too hard on him/blaming him for too much.
I mostly have trouble getting over stuff he's done/said to me in the past. I realize it's because a lot of those things (I feel, based on my observations) came from a place of him not respecting me as an equal partner. I've been trying to think of ways to get him to prove to me he thinks I'm an equal partner. Like I asked him once to tell me something he liked/valued about me but he couldn't come up with anything... then I asked him to take time and think about it and write a list and he could only come back with "I like hanging out with you at home" and that I had good social skills (which I think this refers to the fact that I will go with him to social events and put on a pleasant face. But this feels so inauthentic to me because I've been withdrawing so hard I hardly recognize myself...).
I told him a few days ago that I'm stil having these thoughts, and he was understandably upset. I didn't put it exactly like I need validation in this regard, so I'm planning to do so tonight but I'm wondering if it's even fair/healthy to put this on him? It kind of sucks, but it feels like this is the only option? For me the signs, the logic of it all points to that he doesn't see me as equal, but then I also recognize that I have such a low sense of self worth that I will just naturally assume that he thinks less of me. But then he shouldn't have a problem providing this evidence for me then?? After all, I do it for him all the time because he tends to naturally think I do things/make mistakes on purpose to attack him. So I have to provide evidence that that's not the case. (This dynamic is something thats improving BTW, I realize it's not a healthy one).
My gut thinks it's over, but my head and heart think there's hope if I can get validation that my partner views me as equal. I don't know how else to get this validation other than from him, and I'm also not sure that I can hear this validation for what it is. Do you think it's unreasonable to demand this from him? Or is this something on me?
TL;DR - I'm an insecure GF who needs validation from my partner that he views me as equal. Is it unreasonable to put this on him to provide?
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* This article was originally published here
Thursday, March 31, 2022
I’m very happy with my partner, but why won’t he divorce his wife? | Ask Annalisa Barbieri
He may feel ashamed, scared – or perhaps he’s just lazy? Either way, you need to look at legal avenues that may open doors for him
I’m in a relationship with a man who is separated from his wife but not divorced. He left her five years ago and says their marriage had been over long before that, but he decided to stay until his children left home. We are both in our 50s and his children are now young adults. I was divorced in my 40s and have no children.
We live separately. We’ve had a very happy relationship for several years, but there has always been the elephant in the room of his marriage and the block it presents to our planning a future together.
Continue reading...* This article was originally published here
Wednesday, March 30, 2022
Bf (M21) had a talk with his mom (not sure how old) about me (F20)
Me and my friend dated for about two months and we remained friends but it ended up becoming more than a friendship, we would still do relationship things. So it’s been over a year now. But in that time that we’ve been “dating” we’ve both tried to see other people and I never liked when he would see someone else. He did go on a date with a girl and I did go on a date with a guy, they didn’t work out. So we just came back to each other. But now that we’re back from college (he graduated, im taking a break), we have been hanging out at his house and wherever we can. His parents think we’re having sex and we’re not because when I was, I was being irresponsible, so I don’t want to have sex until I have kids. (I’ve been on BC but still) and he says im not enough for him because I won’t have any type of sex with him, and I don’t make him happy anymore. But whenever I was having sex with him, we weren’t having these problems. So two days ago his mom talks to him and asks him what’s going on with us because she wants to know. And I get it, he’s her son, but I’m not her daughter and we are literally just friends. The most we did this year was kiss. So he tells her we are dating and have been for a year and she asks him why he’s been hiding that because that’s a long time and he says he doesn’t know why. She asks what he likes about me and he says he doesn’t know. But before this talk happened, we were perfectly fine. He never mentioned to me that he was unhappy or telling me anything like this. So I feel like his mom (and his dad does this too) are trying to get him to see someone else because they don’t like me because I have tattoos and because of my race. (They are very conservative and have never liked me from the beginning) but I could just be missing something that I’m not seeing. Should I talk to the mom?
TL DR: bf and I were perfectly fine until him and his mom had a talk about me and now he wants to end things because he’s “unhappy” but I think it’s because his mom is putting some bs in his head. Should I talk to his mom about why they’re constantly in our business?
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* This article was originally published here
Tuesday, March 29, 2022
How we met: ‘I’d been out as gay for a long time, but I thought Imogen was straight’
Aine, 26, and Imogen, 29, became friends at a bellringing group in 2019. They fell in love after the first lockdown and live in London with their two cats
In 2019, Imogen was working as a freelance musician and studying sound art when she stumbled on a new hobby. “I was inspired to try out bellringing after speaking to a friend,” she says. “I didn’t have any expectations, but I was really interested in the bells and wanted to see what it was like.”
In September, she went to a church in Hackney, London, to join a local bellringing group. She followed the spiral staircase to the bell tower, where people were gathered in different patterns. There, she spotted Aine, who had been taking part for several years. “It’s mostly older people, so you notice when someone younger comes in,” says Aine. “Because it can get quite crowded in the tower, you end up perched on the edges. When Imogen arrived, I accidentally dropped my water on her, which was embarrassing. Luckily, it broke the ice.”
Continue reading...* This article was originally published here
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