He’s friends with his toxic ex

I (25F) had been seeing someone (30M) for the past few months and it had been padding along cuz he was really hot and cold with me. Recently I had enough and broke it off with him but the thing that really ended it was when I caught him texting his ex while we were hanging out. This was someone who he’d been with for 5 years of his life and who really affected him mentally, someone he almost proposed to (ring and all) three or four times. I understand the significance of her to him but I had also got out of a relationship with someone really toxic, difference is I really want nothing to do with my ex.

So my question is: why would you remain in contact/friends with a really toxic ex?

Tldr: I broke it off with someone seeing him text his toxic ex and now am wondering why people would be friends with their horrible exes.

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* This article was originally published here

My (22M) GF (21F) is telling me she will break up if I go see my parents for summer break.

I live away (10 hours) from my parents . I see them 5-6 times/year and that is: 2 weeks for xmas, 2 weeks for easter and few and between days during the year. I also see them 7 weeks for summer break.

I will go to see them this summer break, for 7 weeks. My GF is already VERY upset that I did book the tickets without telling her beforehand when do I leave. She is also very upset that 7 weeks is too much to be away from her - almost like a LDR.

Now, I wish I could invite her, but both our families are very bad financially, and our house is too small, we are 3 siblings, 2 of us will be sleeping in the same room.

She was in tears and was also angry saying that she might consider breaking up, not because she doesnt love me, but because she cant bear the time away. I know she does not mean it, but I am afraid she could cheat, out of resentment or impulsivity.

TL:DR : in the title. It is 7 weeks break.

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* This article was originally published here

should I text her?

So yesterday I(26m) and my girlfriend(22m) talked about our relationship and we had an argument. Basically she's been neglecting me without any reason for 2 weeks. As i brought it up a few times, she just brushed it off. Yesterday i told her that either we change something or this wont do anymore. She told me she needs a few days to think about it. So should i let her think about it without sending any messages or should i send her anything? I feel kinda bad like this that i dont know what to do.

Tl;dr: Had an argument with gf. She says she needs to think about it. Should i text?

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Can constant miscommunication lead to friendship failure?

[F17] Basically what I’ve realized is this.. when I’m in a friendship and something hurts my feelings, I usually don’t bring it up, but it still affects me. I feel like it’s obvious too and I just become more distant and cold, but I’m still sweet to them if that makes sense. (I’m not the best communicator I know lol)

But when I constantly let it slide and never say how it bugs me, my mind goes other places creating all these other scenarios that I can’t even communicate the real problem in the first place because all these other things are in the picture now, overwhelming me.

I can try and communicate the problem, but the list could keep going either from what they did, or the list of scenarios I’ve created in my head.

And even when the supposed problem is “solved,” something will always feel wrong and I can’t put my finger on it.

Ughhh I don’t even know if this makes sense but it’s such a horrible feeling because often the person is so sweet, things just get to me and it becomes so jumbled up and idjdiosoeiddh, I can’t even process it :(

Then when I try and communicate, it’s not focused on the main problem and I usually end up saying something like “my head is just everywhere” and I either explain everything and feel horrible, or say nothing and also feel horrible. The friendship usually doesn’t end very well, at least in my experience.

Tldr : Can’t communicate to my friends when something they do upsets me. That mistake leads me to overthinking, creating false realities in my head, which makes me feel overwhelmed communicating the original problem in the first place.

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My (26F) sister (33F) and two brothers (31M 34M) are far right antivaxxers who think I'll die from the vaccine, and it's going to ruin our family

Crazy title I know but it's true. My parents are the same as my siblings honestly but they're way more reasonable and honestly just brainwashed via my brothers (who are brainwashed via American politics, we're not even American we're Australian not kidding).

Another aspect to it that worries me even more is that I'm a trans woman and transitioned when I was 21 before they became this extreme, so they were accepting of me then. I worry though that deep down, especially my brothers, they resent the fact that I'm trans, resent needing to use pronouns they don't "politically" agree with, etc. and if I do blow up (which I want to but need real advice first), they'll reveal their true colours in regards to me being trans. They believe not just antivax stuff but also in the spooky New World Order LGBT rights agenda bullshit, hence me worrying I'm not even human to them because I'm trans.

How do I know they think I'll be dead from the vaccine? Apart from them being very loud, they've said it to my face and in front of me knowing I've had the vaccine (2 doses of pfizer due for 3rd). Because I know they'll backtrack years from now when the world isn't actually dead, I decided to ask one of them. Here's word for word the conversation with names removed:

me: Do u think im gonna die in 3 years from the vaccine like brother and brother do?

sis: How many you had? Do u have any symptoms?

me: just wanna know tbh

sis: I think it’s a biological weapon and the more a person has, the more chance for life debilitating illness or death. Why?

sis: There are ways to detox

sis: What's going on? How r u doing?

Her first reply was all I honestly needed to hear. I know she cares, but I'm beyond angry about this. Here's where I need genuine advice. I have bipolar depression, moods already been low for a long time and I honestly am getting close to just exploding on all 3 of them. My only siblings. And by exploding I don't mean in a regular person way I mean in a bipolar way (LOL) which may mean I burn bridges in a moment of too much emotion, and I really don't want to. But she's going to expect a reply and I can't hide how pissed off I am anymore. I want to maintain a healthy close bond with them like we had when we were younger, but I can't anymore with how they're changing.

What on earth do I do? What can I even do? I don't want to say or do anything I'll regret but I'm done keeping my mouth shut.

TLDR: my whole family are far-right antivaxxers and think I'll die from vaccine, they listen to American far right politics/influencers and believe there's an LGBT agenda, I have bipolar depression and am going through a ton and feel like blowing up. I need an objective third person perspective to help ensure I don't say anything I'll regret.

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My girlfriend(19F) broke up with me (19M) and she is now with another guy(20M), a friend of hers

First, I want to clarify things about my (ex) girlfriend. She has a lot of mental issues and she did a school phobia this year, she wasn't able to go to the university, and even more, she wasn't able to go outside at all.
She also has a problem, she has never been able to love someone for a long period. But it was different this time she said to me when we were together that this is the first time that she felt that it could last for a (very) long time, and maybe, maybe for life
So the breakup was really hard for both of us, we cried a lot and all, it was very hard

She started to exchange with her friend in a flirty and sexual way almost a week after our breakup, she know him for almost 3 years now. She swore to me that it was very recent and that she didn't cheat. I trust her.

She was my first girlfriend ever, it would have been 1 year together on May the 12th

Concerning what I will do, I simply said to her that I will never send her messages but if she wants to send me some, I'll try to answer. I will restrict myself to do that (sending her things) because I think that this will hurt me more than everything

The purpose of my post is to ask you all how should I feel? I'm lost, it's a mix of anger and sadness. Did she do something bad? Should I be mad at her? Should I really avoid contacting her? I really need some opinions. Thank you for reading

Tl:dr: My girlfriend (almost 1 year together) broke up with me and dated another guy right after (she did not cheat) and I don't know how to feel

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how to respond to inlaws?

TL;DR: planned to meet inlaws in italy. Son is excited. Now they are backing out. Sad.

DH is scapegoat. Justnomil & dil obessed with gc daughter. Years of trying to get their acceotance (I know.. :( )

Anyways... they had planned a huge trip for their children, so's, and my son to go on a safari in africa next summer. I am 5 months pregnant now so we had to back out due to the nature of bringing a 7 mo old to Africa...

We decided instead to meet them over in Italy after as their heritage is from there and they said thats where they were going after Africa. Ive been there several times and have no qualms bringing a under 1 year old there. This was going to be a trip where my 6 year old could see my husbands "homeland", etc... as his parents have been talking about for years.

So my FIL decides to invite his brother and his wife on african safari to take our spots. No worries. Now, they have planned to not meet us in Italy and go to Spain with them instead.

We will still go to Italy but I am left with a sense of disappointment. Its like pulling teeth to get these people to spend time with us and my son, and they had my 6 yo excited about meeting them there. Once again we feel super pushed to the side by them. What can I say?

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* This article was originally published here