[F17] Basically what I’ve realized is this.. when I’m in a friendship and something hurts my feelings, I usually don’t bring it up, but it still affects me. I feel like it’s obvious too and I just become more distant and cold, but I’m still sweet to them if that makes sense. (I’m not the best communicator I know lol)
But when I constantly let it slide and never say how it bugs me, my mind goes other places creating all these other scenarios that I can’t even communicate the real problem in the first place because all these other things are in the picture now, overwhelming me.
I can try and communicate the problem, but the list could keep going either from what they did, or the list of scenarios I’ve created in my head.
And even when the supposed problem is “solved,” something will always feel wrong and I can’t put my finger on it.
Ughhh I don’t even know if this makes sense but it’s such a horrible feeling because often the person is so sweet, things just get to me and it becomes so jumbled up and idjdiosoeiddh, I can’t even process it :(
Then when I try and communicate, it’s not focused on the main problem and I usually end up saying something like “my head is just everywhere” and I either explain everything and feel horrible, or say nothing and also feel horrible. The friendship usually doesn’t end very well, at least in my experience.
Tldr : Can’t communicate to my friends when something they do upsets me. That mistake leads me to overthinking, creating false realities in my head, which makes me feel overwhelmed communicating the original problem in the first place.
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