He wanted me to come over this past Sunday evening…I wasn’t feeling well nor was I feeling up for it, but I went to see him anyway, because earlier that day, I cancelled on him to go to the beach (Keep in that mind that I initially planned a date for us Saturday afternoon to go kayaking and have a picnic, but he cancelled on that to go hang out with his friends at the beach).
Anyways - while I was over at his place, we were watching the basketball game and he was extremely touchy and dirty that evening (dirty in the sense of him saying things like, “I want you to cum on my face,” and “I want to violate you.”) I’m not sure why I was feeling this way, but I pretty much insinuated to him that I was not in the mood (i.e. telling him I was not feeling well - I think the marijuana he was smoking was making my stomach feel a bit “off,” and I was also experiencing cramps…but I was not on my period yet). Fast forward to after the game, we decided to watch a movie - and he couldn’t keep his hands off me..it got to a point where I just “gave in” and we had sex. Round 1 was good, but Round 2 is where I sort of fucked up, I think? 1- I initiated round 2, but it got to a point where he was fucking me for like 30 minutes straight and I was feeling soreness/pain in my vagina area that I wanted to stop, and I said stop a few times, but he wouldn’t stop. I feel really weird about this because I feel like I might have gave him mixed signals. Well…after the deed was done, I just felt “off” and I no longer wanted to cuddle with him and made the mistake of not spending the night (I left at 11pm) and giving him the silent treatment. I don’t know why I even gave the silent treatment…like I know that’s toxic..but a part of me did not want to blast at him and say the wrong thing, or cry…so I didn’t say anything at all, didn’t kiss him goodbye or anything.
When I got home, he texted me and said that he is basically questioning this whole relationship now, and that we should take a break. I texted him back saying that I was not in the right headspace, wasn’t feeling well and wanted to sleep in my bed tonight, and basically said “ok” to his break.
Now - I’m at this point where I’m not sure what to do and he said he doesn’t know what he did. I feel like an idiot and I’ve just been a bit stressed/have things on my mind lately with other personal issues.
TL;DR: I felt uncomfortable with my boyfriend during sex and felt like I gave mixed signals and did not do enough to stop it. As a result, I did not spend the night and gave him the silent treatment and now he is rethinking the relationship and wants to take a break.
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