Is my [M/24] friend [F/21] being friendly or something more?

I’ve met up with her a few times before leaving the country and both times, she’s been very touchy (of course I reciprocate back appropriately). Touchy in the sense that she puts her hands on my chest, gets close to me, holds hands or prolongs the touch.

She invited me over for lunch and then said “can you help me with my luggage on my bed”. Didn’t make anything of it but we chilled in her room and got close (made no move)

Next time I seen her we had wine and then went out to the town while basically holding hands the entire time (we were being friendly and joking around and what not). We end up going back to her place and just kinda spooned (ngl I was being touchy but she was cool with it clearly) — again no move made cause I suck with signs

We call/FT here and there and have actually become close friends. We joke about sexual things here and there of course, one time we FT’d and she straight up told me she’s not wearing a bra, or I’d be making jokes about “taking long”, or she’d joke about her ass and I’d go along with it of course

Can someone explain to me what’s going on?

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TL;DR: don’t know if my friend is being friendly or likes me or any of the above

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* This article was originally published here

my ex and I are thinking about getting back together. should he tell me his indiscretions?

My ex (27m) and I (39f) are seriously thinking about getting back together. There were some serious trust violations on his part but if we do get back together I'm putting great emphasis on trust building. I've read that the first part of rebuilding trust is putting everything out in the open. I also believe this will help me start to trust him more, as he had a habit of keeping things from me when we were together.

I believe he should tell me everything that happened while we weren't together. I already told him everything, for the most part when it happened or soon after. He doesn't want to tell me anything (hes told me about a couple of girls that were flirting with him but wont answer any of my questions or tell me anything else. He says its none of my business and won't affect our relationship. I told him i needed a show of good faith that he won't keep things from me in the future.

Another thing to note is that before he told me about the girls flirting with him he told me some bu))$h1t story (I guess to try to shut me up) but i saw right through it and he finally admitted those couple things.

What do you all think? I think that if we weren't planning on getting back together then no, it would be none of my business. But we are planning to be together and I feel like if he does this it will start to establish trust.

Tl:dr: ex and I are considering reconciliation but he won't tell me what he did when we broke up

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* This article was originally published here

Getting over best friend crush

For the past two years I’ve (25M) been hanging out / started a deep friendship with a guy (27M). We have a lot in common, we have a great time and have good chemistry.

Very soon in our friendship we started hanging out a lot, we slept over and cuddled and overall I always felt that there was something else that I was feeling and I had the gut instinct that it was reciprocated.

Last year I came clean to him and told him I had romantic feelings towards him, he said he wasn’t ready for that conversation so I understood and shelved that for a while and stayed his friend.

A few months ago, after having a very deep conversation I confessed to him again that my feelings had not dissipated and I still liked him romantically. This time we did talk and he told me that he felt the same, that me being with him makes him a better person, that he also thinks we have a lot in common and that he wants to keep me forever in his life.

I ask him if he would be interested in going out on a date to try and see how we feel (we hang out alone but not in a date setting) and he agrees. When the date comes he acts distant, doesn’t want to answer any questions about our romantic feelings and overall feels cold. He ends up telling me that he doesn’t wanna hurt me because all his last relationships have ended because of his issues and basically told me that the minute I left his house the day we talked he realized he is not ready for a relationship.

I felt hurt but I understood. You can’t force anyone to love you. We hung out less because we got busy but still talked everyday. My romantic feelings are still there but I know I can’t act on them.

A few days ago we had another conversation about issues with his family and the future. He also told me that he started going out with / dating someone (I suspected it since he was acting weird) and that he was happy and liked the guy and wanted to let me know because he knew how I felt.

I said i’m okay because I can’t change his mind or make him like me and I appreciate him telling me, which is true. But it’s also true that I feel used or lied to. Why didn’t he tell me before that it was not that he wasn’t ready for a relationship but just that he didn’t want one with me?

I feel that I need to distance myself because seeing him post things with that guy makes me feel weird (so I don’t know if I would feel comfortable hanging out in a group setting with him). Don’t mistake me, I am happy for him because he deserves joy. But I also deserve peace.

Is it unfair that I want to distance myself from him? I still love him as a friend and I know that I don’t want a romantic relationship with him because this whole thing has hurt me deeply.

I just want to heal without finishing a friendship that makes me feel good (in the friend part, that is) Any advice?

TL;DR : Best friend / crush / guy I like romantically has told me he liked me but isn’t ready for a relationship. He started dating someone and I feel hurt. How can I distance without ending our friendship?

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* This article was originally published here

I [25M] messed up with a good girl [22F]

OK, so I [25] met this girl [22] three months ago and the spark was there instantly. I invited her for a date afterwards and it was a great summer, we clicked and could talk about anything. I could see that she’s head over heels into me. First, I was very attentive but after some time I started to have these moments on our dates when I just fell silent (I was still processing my family loss, I guess, I am better now) and she noticed this. At the end of August, she started studying (she’s a nurse and worked at hospital where my grandpa died in August, she knew him) so school and work both got into way. She had less time and we didn’t see each other for almost two weeks. This is where I fucked up royally. I got drunk one night (couldn’t bear memories of grandpa) and kinda blamed her for not wanting to see me over text (she was on the night shift…) and that she has time for her friends (some of them male which I ofc didn’t forget to mention..) and not me. I must mention that after grandpa’s death I was under and I saw everything negatively and was paranoid, but that’s no excuse for this shit I pulled ofc.

She said that I should have say something earlier about me wanting to see her and that she’s seriously disappointed, didn’t expect this shit from me. She also mentioned that she noticed me being distrait and “not there” sometimes on our dates and that she doesn’t even know if I want her. Next morning I explained and apologized profusely. Man, I know it was short term relationship but I can’t stop blaming myself, because I am not like this, I get that she had important things to do, I would never do that again, especially now when I kinda processed my family loss and doing better. We sporadically made contact since then, sometimes it was her, sometimes me, she said she needed time to process this and that she was disappointed by what happened. Our last conversation a week ago was me asking her if she wants to talk in person. She replied yes, I asked when, she texted wait a minute and didn’t get back to me at all. I texted next day if she’s ok and she just texted “Yes 😂”.

Sorry, this post is a mess, I just poured all my thoughts here. I know I fucked up badly and created this image of me being needy and childish but I was just down mentally. Is there a chance to fix this? Why did she agree to meet, then kinda ghosted me when I specifically said in that text that I will respect if she doesn’t want to see me again.

I know, I know, there are millions of women in the world. But I want to know if there’s a chance here, maybe if I kinda disappear? And sorry, English is not my first language.

tl;dr: I acted needy and childish with a girl because I had issues and now I miss her so much. Is there a chance to fix this? I feel guilty every day.

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* This article was originally published here

Clingy girlfriend gave me and my roommates COVID. Toxic behavior or am I overthinking?

My girlfriend (24F) and I (26M) have been seeing each other for a little over a year. She’s really nice to me but she’s not very independent, and sometimes she makes me feel like she wouldn’t be able to survive without me.

She recently caught COVID (we don’t live together) and I suggested that maybe she could self isolate, and I could support her over the phone instead of having her coming over like she usually does.

I don’t mind taking the risk myself and getting COVID (although I prefer not to), but the main thing I’m worried about is that I live with multiple roommates right now and my younger brother is staying with us, and I don’t think they’d be comfortable with her breaking quarantine just because she wants to see me.

Anyways, I talked to her about my concerns and she was really upset that I didn’t think she should visit. She said I wasn’t being supportive and I was being a bad boyfriend for not taking care of her while she’s sick.

I would come to her place but it’s physically too small for the both of us, and she’s technically not allowed to have guests.

So eventually I gave in and she ended up coming over and getting everyone sick, and they weren’t super happy about that.

I don’t know what else I could’ve done in this situation. Does anyone have any advice?

I can’t tell if her clinginess is toxic or if I’m just overthinking things.

Would appreciate any suggestions!

TLDR: My girlfriend got really upset at me for wanting her to self-isolate when she had COVID. I just wanted her to self-isolate because I didn’t want her to get my roommates sick, but she ended up coming over anyways. We all ended up getting sick as a result. How should I have handled this?

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* This article was originally published here

I(40M) accidentally called my wife (36F) fat..

My wife(36f) and me (40M) were having a conversation about our past, which was bumpy.

I said something along the lines of - “She was skinny, that’s why” - which I’m not saying is right by any means. I am in the wrong 100%, but what I said is said and can’t be taken back now.

I made the mistake of calling my wife “thick”, which equates to being fat. I did not intend to hurt her feelings, I honestly wasn’t thinking when I said it.

Now the question is - “why wasn’t I skinny enough?” - and she is not talking to me until I have a reply to that. How do I answer without fucking everything up?

TL;DR - When talking of the past, I called my wife fat, how do I answer “why wasn’t I skinny enough?”

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* This article was originally published here

How To Become More Desirable (22M)

I have always struggled with fitting in. Never had a girlfriend, a few friends that I cherish, etc., but I have never been sought after romantically or friendship-wise (though I care a lot more about the romantic side.) I was bullied through all of middle school and part of high school, and was completely isolated during that time due to it. I now have extremely low confidence, I don’t like my body because my family allowed to get fat at a young age (to which I then put my mind to it and lost it, but there are still some stretch-marks and I now have a skinny-fat build), and my overall mental health is not the best by any means. I want to become a high-value person, having lots of connections for friends and romantic interests, but I don’t know where to begin my self-improvement. I’m really struggling and it’s slowly eating away at me.

TL;DR: I want ti become a high-value man after struggling with body dysmorphia, poor mental health, and lack of people “wanting” me, but don’t know where or how to begin.

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* This article was originally published here