"Love Is Blind" relationships crumble as cast returns to Dallas Axios
* This article was originally published here
Wednesday, November 2, 2022
Tuesday, November 1, 2022
I (25m) think the woman I'm seeing (35) is maybe a narcissist. Should I take these signs seriously?
I met this woman 3 months ago. Probably an irrelevant detail, but she's a very very beautiful woman. And elegant.. and she's really tall (5'11, I'm only two inches taller). When I go out with her I notice a lot of people check her out.
We aren't in a relationship, but we have been intimate.. four times.
Anyway, after I met her we immediately started texting each other for hours. We had a lot of chemistry immediately and we started calling each other cute names. Like.. because I'm younger, she would call me ''puppy''. We have no weird kink, at some point I jokingly said ''you're such a mummy'' when she did a few nice things for me, she was like ''ohh, so cute, I like taking care of you''. I like her because she doesn't only have the looks, she comes across as very sweet, caring and understanding.
At some point she asked ''do you think this will go on? Maybe we shouldn't text each other so often. Maybe we shouldn't see each other very often.'' I asked her what was going on, she was very blunt and said ''I'm afraid I will get used to you very quickly and I will dump you''. She talked about her past relationships and revealed that she ended her previous relationships because of that.
She has asked this question a few times: ''do you still like me as much as you did before?''
It feels like she doesn't believe things can last.. and when I say that yes I like her as much as I did before if not more, she says ''it kind of feels forced. I lowkey feel like we're already past the honeymoon phase, it doesn't feel as intense as before''
I'm paraphrasing, she's very subtle when she talks and not as dramatic, and even when she isn't very subtle, she uses a lot of words so that what she says doesn't sound blunt.
Another strange thing is that while she tries to come across as a good human, she sometimes drops that attitude altogether and jokes about how bad she can be when she gets mad. Like, ''we haven't had an argument yet, you should see what I'm like when I'm mad, you'd run so fast'' and sometimes talks about her past and how she was a total bully in high school. When she talks about something bad she has said or done in the past, she tries to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal, or she tries to sound like a person who acknowledges that what she did was bad. Like ''uhm, I know this was bad, but uhm..I got mad at my friend and threw a little stone at her haha''
then she quickly returns to her current attitude and says ''ohhh, I've changed so much. I was just a kid. I'm so kind and caring now.'' And she proves it. Just an example: I was hanging out with her. But I had had a bad day at work, I wasn't in the mood to have fun. She said, in a very gentle voice, ''hey, it's okay. Nobody is happy all the time. Tell me what happened at work'' and she gave me emotional support and then she even kissed me.
Three days ago she uploaded her Whatsapp pictures, it wasn't a picture, it was a quote ''did you hear my covert narcissism that I disguise as altruism? A tale as old as time''. I randomly googled these words, turns out it's a song. But if you put all these little pieces together... I don't know... I'm starting to worry, there's something a little sinister and eerie about her. She does seem to be a little self-centred in general, but I'm not sure if it's pathological narcissism. It's very subtle though, like, she wears her red lipstick as soon as she wakes up, then she talks about the guys who hit on her and says ''the guy was cute, I was tempted, you've got competition lol. Joking, as soon as he talked to me, I reminded myself that I have you''
I realize this may sound like a generic question, but should I take these signs seriously? Am I just reading too much these little things?
TL;DR I'm worried the woman I'm seeing may be a little narcissistic.
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* This article was originally published here
Monday, October 31, 2022
I think I messed up and got into a new relationship too quickly
So my(23f) ex(25m) dumped me in august and since then it's been really hard for me to happy again, I miss him and what we had so much and the fact that there's nothing I can do about it is killing me, fast forward to the start of October, I met my now current boyfriend(24m), he's been amazing to me very loving, patient and understanding of my past but even though I really enjoy spending time with him, I still come back home and cry. I feel really bad about it and I feel like he deserves better, but at the same time he's a great person and I don't wanna lose him, I wouldn't say I love him just yet but I've grown very attached to him and I feel like with time I'll get better and I can finally start being happy again. What would you guys do if you were in my position ?
Tl;dr: I got into a new relationship before I was ready but I don't wanna lose my partner
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* This article was originally published here
Sunday, October 30, 2022
Saturday, October 29, 2022
My family aren't inviting my fiancé for Christmas because we're both men. I'm not sure how to raise it with him.
Tldr: My family are uncomfortable that I'm in a relationship with a man. He's not invited for Christmas, obviously this means I won't be going either but I don't know how to explain to him without hurting him or making him feel guilty.
My fiancé and I are men in our early 30s. He's the first man I've had feelings for or been in a serious relationship with which could be relevant. We were friends first and my family LOVED him. They actually invited him for Christmas when we were friends so I know this isn't about anything other than disapproving of our relationship.
Christmas is a big deal in my family, the whole extended family is there including partners. I automatically assumed my partner would be there. My family were awkward about our relationship at first but I really thought they were coming around. However, my mum (who always hosts) has told me he isn't invited because older relatives wouldn't be comfortable and it might ruin the day. I'm from quite a typical african family and they aren't exactly open-minded. My parents aren't too bad but they are very image-conscious. My siblings are a mixed bag.
My fiancé and I haven't really discussed Christmas so it's not as though I'd told him he's coming and he was excited about it or anything. I was kind of excited though. I'm disappointed that it won't be happening but I'm even more disappointed that my family don't accept us. Obviously I'm not going without him. I told my mum this but she thinks I'm being silly and will change my mind.
I don't know how to tell my fiancé. He's going to be so hurt and when I tell him I'm not going either he's going to feel guilty. Any time my friends or family have had an issue with us being together, he's just ended up feeling bad because he feels like he's causing problems in my relationships. I know he's going to say he wants me to go to my family Christmas without him. Christmas is already a difficult time for him because he has no family, literally none. I think this situation is going to make him feel even worse.
I don't know what the best way is to handle it. I don't think there's any way to avoid hurting him but I want to at least make it easier on him. I was wondering about us maybe going away somewhere but that might make him feel guilty too. Any advice would be appreciated.
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* This article was originally published here
Friday, October 28, 2022
My bf (32m) won't stop groping me (30f) during the night and I'm losing sleep and starting to feel avoidant
Firstly, excuse the formatting, I'm on mobile.
We've been together over 5 years and whilst I love him, this is an issue that's always been somewhere in the relationship. When we first started dating he would be very handsy and always try to initiate PDA, which I'm really not into. He'd ignore my refusals to sit on his knee or try make out with me in public, thinking I was just shy, which I was, but also just didn't want to because it feels awkward in public. I'd tell him no, but he'd still persist.
As the relationship has gone on he's always been a person who can't stay still in bed, he fidgets a lot, and hell tend to grope me when I just want to sleep, or I'll wake up to him groping me when again, I just want to get some rest as I work pretty hard jobs. If he's not groping me he's moving me around trying to get me to lie on him or putting his arm under my neck. I tend to wake up cranky and with a sore neck most of the time. I've lost my temper a few times and he will stop, but ultimately he goes back to his ways.
Currently the situation seems to be getting worse. We currently are only living together partly as we are selling our house and moving in with my parents temporarily until we find a new property. So I only see him for half the week until our house sells. I've currently took on a new job and am working double the hours I originally worked, so I'm quite tired due to my body adjusting to these extra 15 hours a week, as well as other external issues, including my mental health. I don't know if it's because he misses me with being apart more now, but it's really starting to drive a wedge between us for me.
I feel reluctant to be intimate because I'm so tired of constantly being treated like a doll, being picked up and moved around and groped, despite me rejecting this. It's a huge turn off to wake up constantly with someone groping you before you even know what day it is. I feel like an object.
Despite all this, I love him and he is a great partner. He treats me so well, cooks, pulls his weight around the home, takes care of me when I'm sick, it's just this one issue and I don't know how else to get through to him that it's really putting me off the relationship. I've flat out told him to stop, I've sent articles of the impacts of this, I've sent tiktoks of people talking about how they feel when it happens to them. My only other option is to tell him it's making me want to pull away more, which I'm sure I probably have done, but it doesn't sink in for long.
I'm just stuck.
Tldr: My bf is constantly groping me or moving me around when I'm trying to sleep despite me telling him not to, and it's putting me off the relationship
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* This article was originally published here
Thursday, October 27, 2022
How and where to break up with my (16F) boyfriend (16M) of 6/7 months?
He has much stronger feelings for me than I do for him, and I think it's not fair to him and will hurt him even more if I stay. I also don't really want to be in this relationship anymore in general, because I've lost a lot of enjoyment in talking to/spending time with him. How much (if any) of this should I be saying?
Also, I'm not sure whether to do it in person or over the phone. I know that breaking up over the phone is generally a bad idea because it's considered disrespectful and low-effort. The problem is that I can't think of a suitable place to break up in person. I'm definitely not doing it in school, and we've never been to each other's houses, so that's not an option either. I don't feel comfortable doing it in a public place, because I feel like there's a lack of privacy and we might not be able to talk openly. Also, neither of us can drive, and while my place is near public transport, I'm not sure about his. In the past, dates have also required a lot of planning effort, because of our schedules, our parents, and having to share the car with family members. In this case specifically, we would have to agree on a place and time, at the very least. I don't know if it's worth going through all that planning, and he'll probably be suspicious (though that might be a good thing, at least he wouldn't be totally blindsided). So I'm not sure what to do.
TLDR: I think I want to break up with my boyfriend, but I don't know how detailed my reasoning should be and how I should do it.
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* This article was originally published here
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