Am I (24F) reading too much into this post-it note gesture from my crush (39M)?

I've been working at this company for about 6 months and have known my crush for the same time.

I'm going to sound like a complete psycho. I think I've built this little gesture up into something it isn't. Please, online strangers, drag me down to reality.

Okay, let's start. I (24F) have a crush on my male co-worker (39M). I know, age gaps blah blah. It's quite a casual work environment (experimental research facility) and we have a friendly but reserved relationship. He's a really kind, intelligent, and helpful person who is always willing to make time for others.

A couple weeks ago I asked him for some help finding a specific item needed for one of my experiments (my entire team is on holiday so there was no one else). He helped me search the building to make sure we didn't already have it stocked, then offered to order it for me (I can't access the PO system yet).

I wrote down the specs of the item on a post-it note (bright neon pink) and casually handed it to him when I walked past his desk later that day. He ordered the item and it arrived in time. Perfect. My experiment was saved.

Well a couple of weeks have passed since then and, when I was walking past his desk the other day, I saw a flash of neon pink. I did a double take and noticed that he still had the bright pink neon post-it note I had given him on his desk. It wasn't like he had discarded it randomly to the side or forgotten to throw it away. He had stuck it on the base of his main monitor so it would be in direct line of sight every time he sat down at his computer.

I was surprised because he definitely didn't need it anymore, especially weeks after the item arrived. We don't work on the same projects or are even in the same team, it also wasn't the kind of item you would re-order any time soon. The rest of his desk is well-organised and ordered, so he wouldn't keep unnecessary clutter on his desk.

The hopeless romantic in me is thinking that he kept the post-it note on his desk because he secretly likes me and wanted a reminder in the form of my neon pink message.

He's been friendly with me since, if a bit reserved, no different than normal. I can't help daydream about "what if..." and I feel a surge of excitement each day I walk past his desk and the post-it note is still there.

But then, I feel stupid. I am a grown-ass woman losing sleep over a post-it note on my co-worker's desk. I feel like I am definitely reading too much into this, but just wanted a second opinion and to vent a bit.

TL;DR: My crush has kept the post-it note I gave him on his desk, weeks after he needed it. Is it because he likes me or am I a hopeless romantic?

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* This article was originally published here

I can only climax in one position. Why do my lovers try to talk me out of it?

This was never an issue with my ex-husband. But now, whenever I specify my preference to be on top, partners try to coax me into the missionary position

I can only orgasm when I am on top during sex. This wasn’t a problem with my ex-husband when we were married, but when I try to explain this to a potential partner, their ego kicks in and they assure me I will orgasm in the missionary position with them. However, this is never the case for me.

You are the architect of your sexuality and have found the right way for you to achieve an orgasm. Beware of people who might try to convince you otherwise. Men who think they will never fail to bring a woman to orgasm during penetration are lacking in the correct knowledge about female physiology and sexual response. When you are on top, you are in control. You can angle your clitoris to receive maximum stimulation with the exact level of pressure you need. Find a partner who admires the way you take responsibility for your own pleasure and avoid the uneducated.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.

Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.

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* This article was originally published here

Steps to build better relationship with yourself - Hindustan Times

Steps to build better relationship with yourself  Hindustan Times

* This article was originally published here

Boyfriend [24M] doesn't really support me [24F] in my hobby

A bit of a weird argument I'm having with my bf.

We have been on and off long distance for 2.5 years now while he completes his degree abroad. The last time we met physically was a year ago, so we manage by video calling, sending photos of our day, watching movies, etc.

I dance for a hobby and maybe once or twice a month I'll send him a video of a choreography I worked on, or a cover I did of somebody else's choreo. I only send him ones that I'm really really happy with, because he's not much into dancing and I don't want to force my hobby onto him. I just thought it would be nice to show him clips I'm really happy with.

He watches my videos on mute... because he says the type of music (usually pop, hip hop) is not his style and he just doesn't like the songs. But he says he really appreciates my dancing and says I keep improving.

Bear in mind, my clips are maximum 3 mins long-- but usually just 1 minute. Again, I only send him a clip like once a month.

I told him that him muting my videos is absolutely ridiculous because it's literally just one minute of audio. The whole point of my dancing is that it syncs to the music. I put effort into making sure the music comes to life through my dancing so what's the point? I'm not a mime. Lol

He composes music for a hobby so he is very picky about music and I know he's more informed than me in terms of what constitutes a good beat, lyrics, etc. I get that. I do. But is it that painful for him to suck it up and listen to 1 minute of a generic pop song to support me?

He says that I'm forcing him to do something that he doesn't want to-- I.e listen to music he doesn't want to. I said okay. Then I'll just stop sending you clips of my hobby. He said that's fine with me.

When he sends me clips of his music, I listen all the way through even if it isn't what I normally listen to. He is incredibly talented and I try to support him as best as I can. Is it unfair of me to expect him to support me in that way? Or am I just forcing him to support my hobby? Being in a LDR I thought something like this would just make sense but now I don't know anymore.

TLDR; I send my bf videos of my hobby, dancing. He watches these videos on mute and does not understand why I find that ridiculous. I feel like I'm crazy.

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* This article was originally published here

19m - my new gf, 20f, wants to go on holiday with her ex as friends

I recently got into a relationship with a girl who just came out of one. They had booked a holiday today and couldn't cancel it, so are talking about just going as friends. She asked if I'd be okay with it to which I said no, I would probably end the relationship. She is upset that I am not letting her continue her friendship with the ex (btw I wouldn't have a issue with them seeing each other for like coffee or something) Am I in the wrong?

Tldr - my new gf wants to holiday with her ex as friends and is upset I don’t want her to

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My gf (23F) is pissed that I (25M) cheated, but I was DRUNK when I did it

So I ended up sleeping with a Woman while drunk and told my gf bc honesty is the best policy and she IMMIDIETLY dumps me hangs up the phone, and about 20 minutes later she comes by to get all of her stuff, and when trying to explain to her she just ignores me, and once she's done packing leaves the house.

I think this is super unfair yeah I cheated, but I was drunk and out of my mind. She could have easily talked to me about this and we could make some kind of deal, but instead she was stubborn about it and couldn't be understanding I was willing to have a conversation and she wasn't. Was what I did that deep? I was super drunk and was surprised when I had woke up the next morning

tl;dr slept with a Woman when drunk and gf dumped me without even trying to talk it out

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* This article was originally published here

Crap, I (27M) miss my Ex(27F)

TL;DR Im maried but i missed my ex after a facebook notification for her birthday popped up.

Im married to my wife (27F) of 3 years with a 1y/o child.

So today is my Ex's birthday so a notification popped up on facebook. This causes a tidal wave of emotion memories and many things. I love my wife and cherish my marriage, and I'd hate for this to affect what i have.

I hate that i miss my Ex. I know its probably a fleeting thing but it seems every other month or year these feelings surface up and i cant bare myself to discuss this with my wife.

Perhaps there are unresolved things ? I dont know. I could really use some help . Cheers.

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* This article was originally published here