How do I enhance my tidying habits and address my partner's concerns about minor oversights while maintaining open communication and a positive relationship dynamic?

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share something that's been on my mind lately and get some advice. Overall, the relationship between me [35m] ]my partner [35f ] is great, but there's one aspect that's been causing me some anxiety. We live together with our 4-year-old daughter, and a few weeks ago, my partner and daughter were away for a couple of days. When they returned, my partner was disappointed in me for not taking better care of our home, addressing some specific things she asked me to handle before they left.

I did complete the tasks she assigned, but I must admit I neglected some general tidying up. I felt ashamed because I value keeping our home in good shape, and I know it's important to her. I didn't think much of it at the time and took the opportunity to rest and do other things. I've reminded myself to establish better routines for tidying up, but I admit I can be a bit distracted and may not always notice when things are amiss.

My partner later apologized, citing various reasons for her emotional reaction. I promised to improve my tidying habits, and I genuinely have been making an effort. However, I've noticed that she can still get upset if I happen to overlook something minor. I'm not sure how to navigate this situation.

Here are my questions:

1. What can I do to become less distracted and gain better organization and insight into maintaining our home?

2. Is it reasonable for every small oversight to be pointed out, considering I won't be perfect? How can I address this without seeming like I'm avoiding responsibility?

I appreciate any advice or insights you may have. Should I also mention that I may not achieve perfection in this aspect? Thanks!

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TLDR:

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"I've promised to get better at tidying up at home, but I'm unsure about what steps to take for improvement. Additionally, I want to avoid feeling like I'm doing something wrong, no matter how I approach it.

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my girlfriend cheated on me

my (19f) girlfriend (26f) cheated on me and im conflicted. i know this sounds bad and admittedly it probably is as bad as it sounds but im just looking for some guidance, and validation i suppose😭

for bit of context, we have been together for the past 5 months and she has been visiting for the past month or so, she lives about 3 hours away from me. i am her first exclusive partner, everything before has been poly for her. a little after we got together i found out that ex girlfriend, now best friend and her had been sexting the day before we got together, even though they broke up 7 months prior. They also still called each other pet names. While we werent technically together at the time they were sexting we had been talking for weeks prior, we had been on dates and had made it very clear that we both wanted to get together, it was just a matter of labels at that point. Because of that this really didnt sit right with me and i confronted her about it, she said she didnt realise how soon her and i would get together and it was just a bit of fun, but she was sorry and would talk to her ex about the pet names. She also gave me permission to go through all of her messages

a bit after, 3 or so weeks ago, i did just that and found out that she started sexting her ex again a month after i first confronted her about it, while she was staying at my house. i thought we were done then and there but she just kinda broke into tears, apologising over and over, telling me how much i meant to her and how stupid she was to throw what we had away, over the next few days she reflected on what she did and realised how fucked up it was. shes been cheated on in the past and knows how badly it can fuck you up, but she said she didnt see what she did as cheating until reflecting on it and trying to rationalise why i was so upset. she said to her it was just for fun, the words didnt mean anything and it was just.. sexting. nothing deeper behind it. they did chat about it after i told her to, with my gf telling her ex not to initiate anything anymore (the ex initiated every time it happened) but the chat was incredibly brief, it was brushed over before they went back to chatting like normal friends

i really dont know what to think. on one hand i do want to believe her, both that she wont do it again and that i dont want to think that shes a person capable of hurting others that badly consciously. that being said i dont want to be played for a fool, strung along because im younger and more gullible.

behind that though, the whole thing makes me just miserable. some of her friends pin the blame on me for all this, saying that i shouldnt have went through her messages and that what i did was an unforgivable breach of trust. consciously, i know this is bullshit. subconsciously though? since it happened i just keep thinking of different ways it could be my fault, im less experienced, less attractive, i didnt put my foot down the first time i confronted her or checked that they had talked about it properly. every time i think back to what she said i feel a pit in my stomach, and every time i see them texting i feel ill

i really do like her, ive only talked about the bad here but she has done a lot for me, and i do want to work through all of this, but is it even possible at this point? im sorry if this post has been hard to read, im not a native speaker, but if anyone has any advice for me it would mean the world <3

tl;dr - my girlfriend cheated on me by sexting her ex, she didnt realise it was cheating but is extremely regretful, i don’t know if i can forgive her

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Zodiac signs that turn relationships into stylish affairs - Times of India

Zodiac signs that turn relationships into stylish affairs  Times of India

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Shoaib Malik and Sania Mirza divorce: Shoaib’s past relationships and what went wrong in the paradise - IndiaTimes

Shoaib Malik and Sania Mirza divorce: Shoaib’s past relationships and what went wrong in the paradise  IndiaTimes

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BF [20 M] lied to me [23 F] about meeting his ex / best friend

Me [23 F] My boyfriend [20 M] have been dating for 3 months, he has had one previous relationship when he was 18. He got me out of depression and to thank him I pay everything when we go out etc. also because I love him. He was the one who flirted first and wanted the relationship and I love you first.

His ex (also his best friend) was his first love, his first time sexually. She broke up with him, and became best friend. (They broke up 2 years ago)

Before dating, I set a boundary : I told him if we are on a relationship you cannot see her alone there needs to be one more person and asked if that is okay with him, he was skeptical at first but he finally agreed.

Long story short I saw that she hung out with him, and asked him if it was the case he then proceeded to lie and gaslit me through messages and then in person. After 1 hour of arguing face to face and added lies on lies he admitted they hung out just them two, they only went to the mall and grabbed something to drink. I saw the pic. Before all of this 3 months ago he told me « you can also meet her and you will see it’s only friendship ».

What action did I take that might be wrong ? : My boundary that I set might have been toxic and inconsiderate?

Why this action could make me the bad person here ? : As this might just be a friendship just like the others. Maybe that friendship I could not understand because of jealousy and insecurities.

Maybe I should talk to her ? In order to understand that exes CAN, in fact, be best friends and that even though he lied it’s because she is real friendship. To weigh my reasoning maybe I am acting just like for example spouses that forbid their partener to go clubbing or have male friends or wear cleavage. Maybe my jealousy made me do wrong and he lied cause he couldn’t take it anymore because to him seeing his friend is just a normal thing and he should not be forbidden to do that.

Or he is clearly still in love with her and using me ?

What do you think?

TL;DR! - : BF is best friend with ex gf (first love), she broke up 2 years ago. We agreed that he could see her but only with a third person. He lied and went to the mall alone with her regardless, I had to debate several hours to get the truth out of him. But maybe I am wrong bc maybe I am blinded by insecurities and jealousy and they are truly just best friends now. Please be honest, sending love

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“TL; DR;: My boyfriend has not ever said I love you to me. What should I do?”

My (35f) boyfriend (55m) have been dating for almost a year now and he never once mentioned that he loves me. -I consider our relationship a great one cause we support each other, have the same sense of humor and make each other feel important.

-Whenever we have problems with each other we take our time to talk about it and find a mutual ground. -I sometimes get hurt that in this time of the relationship he never once said I love you to me even if I have said it to him multiple times. -He said, it triggers his anxiety due to past relationship traumas. What should I do? TL;DR.

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My husband (M44) gets overwhelmed by boundaries and rules that I have (F42)

I don't even think there's a word for this behaviour. I'll try to describe his behaviour and give examples. We've been married almost eight years.

Whenever I have a negative opinion or state a boundary, he will apply that to other related things in a general way even if I don't want him to. It's hard to describe but I think of it as a "blanket ban". He doesn't seem to be able to stop himself. It can happen for anything, no matter how small, and has resulted in me trying not to express opinions or, to avoid the situation, overly explain everything I say.

Example one: he likes to play pool with his friends. It's a great hobby, he has a lot of fun and meets people, and it gets him out of the house. Early in our relationship I said that it's great, but I'd rather he didn't do it more than twice a week because I'd like to spend time with him. A couple of years ago he started going out three or four times a week and I reminded him that I'd rather it be twice a week. He then stopped playing pool except for once a week or once every other week. Sometimes it's once a month. And he thinks I don't want him to play, even when I specifically say that I'd like him to and that he should. I think he resents me for it when he's doing something I didn't even want him to do.

Example two: I don't like to have sex right after eating (it's uncomfortable to me) or right before bed (it wakes me up too much). When I shared that with him the frequency went down to zero. This was approximately five or so years ago. We've had so many conversations after that where I've asked what was wrong and he pointed to my boundaries and said that he doesn't know what to do and is afraid to initiate. I've told him this is unacceptable. We tried relationship counselling for this one but it didn't work because it didn't address the central issue - his "blanket bans".

Example three: I believe in something not many people do. I understand it's silly, but ultimately harmless. Think crystal healing. I find it a fun things to talk about, so I have been wittering on to my husband about this for almost a year. A week ago he told me he didn't believe in it at all, and I was embarrassed and said I'd stop talking about it then. Since then, he has barely talked to me about anything other than food, etc., and told me this morning his feelings were hurt about it. I think he's taken my saying I'm not going to talk about crystal healing to meaning I'm not going to talk to him about anything at all.

These are the bigger things, but it seems to happen for almost everything. He reacts to everything I say as if it's some sort of criticism, and he overreacts. I tried to reach out and pat his shoulder today because he's been so remote and seems stressed, and he immediately said that he's sorry about his hair and he'll do better about it. I told him that I was just trying to express affection and I can't believe that he'd take it as a criticism. I feel like he's acting like I'm evil and mean and will yell at him about everything, even if it's small. I don't know where he got that impression. I am very reasonable and nice and have only been upset with him a handful of times in our eleven year relationship.

Counselling: yes, we tried couples counselling, didn't get anywhere because they didn't address the central issue. He tried individual counselling but I think he only talked to them about stress at work. I haven't seen any improvements at all.

My individual counsellor says there's nothing wrong with me, but I am becoming depressed. Which isn't surprising. I don't want to divorce my husband. I love him.

TL;DR! - Husband catastrophises everything, is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can have longstanding consequences. Is there anything I can do in this situation other than counselling because we tried that and it didn't work?

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