15 years later and still thinking about my ex

It’s been close to 15 years since I (M42) stopped seeing her (F/47). I was out blowing off steam from the work week with the boys. Out at the bar having a few beers and laughs. This woman walks in with a friend. I don’t recall who said something but they stopped at our table and started talking. Drinks were bought for them and I hear, Im happily married but she’s not!! My ears perk up immediately like the idiot I was in my early 20s. So we end up dancing together. She is the most gorgeous woman I ever laid eyes on. I completely ignored the fact that she was married.

After the bar she comes to wear I am at having a few more beers. We end up just sitting in her car talking the rest of the night. We kissed for a while. The best kiss I’ve had to this day. I had never felt anything like it. Instant connection. So we basically end up in this full blown affair for 2 or so years. I finally end it because I decided enough is enough. She was never going to leave. It hurt like hell but it had to happen. Two weeks I guess later she filed for divorce. She started seeing other people as did it. I still thought about her more days than not. Fast forward. I’m married now with a ten year old daughter. She’s married again. When I started seeing my wife I cut all connectivity to her. Seemed fair to my wife I thought. Things have been not well with my marriage. She cheated for about a year seems like. We are trying to get over that. Then one day out of the blue I message the ex. I don’t know why. I just did. I didn’t really expect a response. But I was wrong. We have been talking back and forth most of the day now for a few weeks. I’m not this guy. I don’t do things to hurt people I care about. I didn’t want to be in an affair in the first place. But I’ll be damned if I dont still have feelings as strong as I ever did for this woman. I don’t know why or how but for some reason when it comes to me and her, nothing is off the table. I’ve never felt anything like this with another woman and I never will. I can’t stand the thought of hurting my wife even though she cheated. But I feel like it’s coming. Why after all this time do I find myself wanting the life I feel like I never got a fair shot at even though I already have this life I created? I’m miserable here and I know why but the guilt is eating me alive. I know I’m a piece of crap for all of it so spare me your judgement. I just want to understand how I can feel so strongly for someone I can’t have.

Tl;dr: I find myself still in love with my ex from 15 years ago and I don’t know why. It was a long affair from long ago but how I felt about her never changed. I hate that it will ruin my family but at the same time my family is already messed up from an affair my wife previously had. If you’d like to comment your opinion on the reason I feel this way then I suppose I welcome it. If not I would not have shared. I’m not sure if I did all this the right way. May not even be able to post it lol.

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* This article was originally published here

The 3 Most Overlooked Relationship Compatibility Signs, According to an Expert - Newsweek

The 3 Most Overlooked Relationship Compatibility Signs, According to an Expert  Newsweek

* This article was originally published here

Should I be upset that my boyfriend watches porn that doesn't resemble me?

(bf of 5 years 26M, I'm 28F). I personally don't view it as cheating, moreso as disrespectful in like a "wanting something/someone else with different body types than me to be able to get off," kinda situation, which is enough to upset me if I'm being honest. Enough to make me cry or feel like I'm not what he actually wants sometimes, even.

I realize a lot of people my age don't get upset over it, but my boyfriend and I don't watch it together, mostly just when I accidentally walk in on him watching and get sad that he'd rather fantasize about someone else than to romantasize me instead and drag me to the bedroom (I have a relatively high sex drive, but we don't have sex more than once every couple weeks).

To be honest, I watch porn frequently too, but only 1. due to our lack of sex and 2. the videos I choose actually resemble his body type, or even race. And when I do, I think of him.

I only ask because when he watches it, he watches instagram-model types of women with perfect bodies, cuter faces, aesthetics, etc. None of whom look anywhere close to me, at least in a way I could change without surgery.

I understand how common it is, but I want to understand more if it's even right for me to be upset. It makes me believe that if any women like this actually gave him the time of day, he would potentially leave me (even if that thought is unreasonable and he did nothing else for me to actually entertain that thought). And that's coming from a place of me not watching anyone that even remotely doesn't look like him, since dating him as made him "my type." Even if we broke things off and a standard "hot guy with huge muscles and nice package type for most" walked up to me now, I would turn him down 100% since he wouldn't even remotely resemble the man I'm with.

Can someone maybe explain better if it's normal to feel that way in this day and age? Am I being toxic and insecure even though I think I'm pretty in a different kind of way? Or do you think maybe he would rather date someone who looks like that and I would be better off dating someone else who prefers my looks or body as a type? We've tried watching porn together but it still made me feel weird since the videos he picked were still so different to what I have. It's not cheating, but it gives me this vibe of him potentially wanting to or him just settling for me instead and wishing for more.

Can anyone (men or women) help me try to rationalize this or maybe explain something I'm not seeing or those who are comfortable with it in monogamous relationships let me know why these factors don't hurt them with their own partner?

My parents had a messy divorce due to cheating when I was young so maybe this is why I'm this sensitive and not seeing the big picture, I'm not entirely sure.

TLDR; I'm secure with myself as a person, but my boyfriend watching porn with women that don't resemble me makes me crazily feel like I'm not enough, or his type and need advice before assuming the worst.

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* This article was originally published here

How do people find partners who truly love them

I (25F) has never had a successful relationship. Every guy I date seems genuinely interested and into me at first, but then he stops trying. I often find myself being the one who's too invested in the relationship, while the other person doesn't seem to mind whether I exist or not. In other words, I always seem to be the one who loves more in the relationship, which makes me miserable and never satisfied.

I think it's worth mentioning that I'm a middle child, and my parents don't show love very well. Growing up, I developed anxious attachment, and I find it hard to leave a relationship even when it's not working for me.

Currently, I'm dating someone (26M) , and we've been together for almost six months. At first, he was so into me, and I felt so happy and secure. He’s very touchy and loves physical affection, which makes me feel loved when we're together. But when we're not together, he often forgets to text, and it makes me wonder whether he loves me or not. This triggers me deeply, bringing back all my fears and insecurities. I'm always the one initiating conversations, and making an effort to keep the connection alive. It feels like I'm the only one invested in this relationship.

To make things more challenging, I have no friends and find it hard to make any. This often leaves me feeling isolated and even more dependent on my partner for emotional support, which I know isn't healthy.

I'm reaching out because I feel lost and don't know how to break this cycle. Has anyone else experienced this? How do you find partners who truly love and care about you? How can I create a healthier, more balanced relationship where I don't feel like I'm always giving more than I'm receiving?

Any advice on how to navigate these feelings and find a fulfilling relationship would be greatly appreciated.

TL;DR: I have never had a successful relationship. I always end up more invested than my partner, which makes me miserable. I'm currently dating someone for 6 months who is very affectionate in person but often forgets to text when we're apart, making me doubt his love. I also have no friends and find it hard to make any.

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* This article was originally published here

Do you really have to choose your partner every day even when you don't feel like it?

Hi guys, I'm looking for some general insights on relationships. I (23F) am in my first serious relationship with my girlfriend (24F). We have been together for a year and a half. She is the first and only person I've ever fallen in love with. During the initial 8-9 months of our relationship, I was so madly in love with her. I even remember making a post about how I have so much love for her that I don't know what to do with it. After we hit our 1 year mark, things started to change a little. Now I know that there is something called the honeymoon phase and it doesn't last forever. This is the stage that I started to notice things about her that I don't like or annoys me. My girlfriend is amazing in general and she's a good person, but just like everyone else (including me), she's not perfect.

Lately, I feel like I've been feeling less connected to her. we still go on dates and activities together, but the general feeling of excitement and butterflies isn't there anymore. I do have fun hanging out with her, but i feel like i don't feel like I'm "crazy" for her anymore. i know I still love her and care for her and want nothing but the best for her. Sometimes I also feel like we're such different people and that maybe I'd be happier with someone more like me. To put it simply, I've begun to wonder how it would be like dating other people, or if I'm really truly happy with her.

I'm not sure about things because this is my first relationship. idk how things are supposed to be. if it's the right person, is it normal to even have doubts about the relationship? I've read about how it's normal to have days where you don't feel too much in love with your partner, and it's a conscious decision to still choose them every day. I agree with this, but sometimes I think about how young I am and this is my first relationship. I don't know if I want to settle with the first person I've ever loved. But on the other hand, I really do truly love her a lot. Part of me does want to spend the rest of my life with her.

I'm just looking for advice in general. thank you very much.

TLDR - Starting to have doubts about the relationship. Should I still continue to choose my partner everyday because I love her?

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* This article was originally published here

My friend (19F) made me(18F) go to house party(I didn't wanted to go there) on my birthday. We've been friends for about 2 years

tl dr;We got in argument during my birthday because I didn't wanted to go where she wanted ( a house party with her friends) I ended up going there because we were at sleepover and I promised my mom to be with her all night, my friend told me if I don't want to go l have to get home.

Also I had to pay for everything (before we were at fancy restaurant also we were using uber to get everywhere). In the morning she was offended by me because I didn't give her 5 dollars.

Her present was only few packages of sweets. She promised to later gift me something special, but didn't do it. We are in one friend group so l don't want get into an argument with her.

I don't want to put a lot of effort into her gift, but I also don't want to look bad in the eyes of others. Her birthday is coming soon and she will celebrate it in a restaurant. What do I do and what present should I get her?

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* This article was originally published here

Considering Starting a Family with My Older Boyfriend: Seeking Advice

Hi everyone, I [F/27] have recently started dating a man [M/55] We've been together for 6 months now. He already has children who are adults and around my age, from a previous relationship with one woman. He was never married and still maintains a very good relationship with her. He sees his children regularly. I don‘t have children.

Recently, he expressed his desire to have another child and start a new family with me. He said he never planned to have more children because he is already happy with his and just wanted to date but when he met me his desire to build a family grew.

This raises some questions for me. How would this dynamic work when he already has an existing family? Additionally, I personally believe that marriage (not the act it self but „to commit“ is important when bringing children into the world (for example to share the same last name, legal-, financial- and parental-rights for both of us) How should I approach the topic of marriage with him? Is it concerning that he has never been married before?

I also wonder why, at his age, he still wants to have more children when he already has some. I'm feeling a bit conflicted and would appreciate some advice. How do you know when you're sure about having a child with someone? What factors should I consider before making such a big decision? Any insights or personal experiences would be incredibly helpful.

Thank you!

TL;DR I’m a 27-year-old woman dating a 55-year-old man who has adult children. He wants to start a new family with me, which raises questions about our dynamic, the importance of marriage, and his desire for more kids at his age. How should I approach these topics and know if I’m ready for a child with him?

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* This article was originally published here