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Saturday, July 13, 2024

Considering Starting a Family with My Older Boyfriend: Seeking Advice

Hi everyone, I [F/27] have recently started dating a man [M/55] We've been together for 6 months now. He already has children who are adults and around my age, from a previous relationship with one woman. He was never married and still maintains a very good relationship with her. He sees his children regularly. I don‘t have children.

Recently, he expressed his desire to have another child and start a new family with me. He said he never planned to have more children because he is already happy with his and just wanted to date but when he met me his desire to build a family grew.

This raises some questions for me. How would this dynamic work when he already has an existing family? Additionally, I personally believe that marriage (not the act it self but „to commit“ is important when bringing children into the world (for example to share the same last name, legal-, financial- and parental-rights for both of us) How should I approach the topic of marriage with him? Is it concerning that he has never been married before?

I also wonder why, at his age, he still wants to have more children when he already has some. I'm feeling a bit conflicted and would appreciate some advice. How do you know when you're sure about having a child with someone? What factors should I consider before making such a big decision? Any insights or personal experiences would be incredibly helpful.

Thank you!

TL;DR I’m a 27-year-old woman dating a 55-year-old man who has adult children. He wants to start a new family with me, which raises questions about our dynamic, the importance of marriage, and his desire for more kids at his age. How should I approach these topics and know if I’m ready for a child with him?

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