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Friday, July 12, 2024

Should I (39F) pursue a long distance relationship with my friend (36M)?

TL;DR; been friends for 11 years and realized my feelings for my friend, which are reciprocated, who lives over a 1000 miles away. Should I pursue a long distance relationship with them?

My friend, let’s call him Aaron, and I first met in undergrad about 11 years ago. We started a research lab together, spending weeks together in the field collecting moths and other insects and hours in the lab sorting them. At the time I thought he was really smart, funny, but got on my dang nerves. I wasn’t interested in him in sort of way other than research colleagues mainly bc he was annoying but also because I was in a long term relationship (LTR) at the time.

Fast forward to me ending things with my LTR, Aaron move to NYC and became a teacher and I went into the private industry, but we remained in contact periodically throughout the years.

We remained friends but when covid hit, him and I became closer, texting frequently and even calling each other, talking about all the time about weirdo science things that we found fascinating.

I could tell that he was developing feelings for me, but I didn’t pay much attention bc we live 1000s of miles apart.

He came to visit 5 year ago, but nothing happened even though I was anticipating that it would. I was too nervous to make a move and come to find out so was he. We just awkwardly enjoyed each others company.

Fast forward through the years and we kept in touch. He would send me shirtless selfies as he glowed up and would tell me, “I wish I could find someone like you.” Again, I ignored it bc of the distance.

Now 5 yrs later he has come to visit again. The other day we hung out, road bikes, and had an absolute wonderful time. While we were chilling at my house, cooling down from the ride, we were sitting really close and I asked him if he would like to make out, to which he enthusiastically agreed. We ended up fooling around but not hooking up.

It was wonderful, the whole experience. He was so gentle but strong and he made me feel safe in his arms, something I haven’t felt for some time.

He told me during that interlude, “I really like you and I have liked you for sometime.”

I came to realize my feelings since that night has passed. He’s everything I want in a partner. He’s sweet, kind, altruistic, cute, funny, wicked smart, and we do all the same hobbies. He’s no longer that annoying 25 year old I met 11 years ago, he’s a full blown man.

So here I am thinking, should I pursue a long distance relationship with him?

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* This article was originally published here

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