Why Would My Girlfriend Hide Me from Some Of Her Instagram Stories?

Hey,

I've been 29M dating my girlfriend 28F for a few years now, and we're actually planning to get married soon. However, a few weeks ago, I discovered something that's been bothering me, and I'm really confused about it.

I found out that she occasionally hides me from some of her Instagram stories. It's not a regular thing, and from what I can see, she's mostly hiding me from some memes she posts or quotes. You know the type—those vague quotes about "when people do this or that." Nothing related to our relationship, and never posted her pictures on these stories.

I decided not to confront her about it yet because I'm trying to understand why she'd do this, also i found out as a stalker with another account because it's been like 2 weeks she haven't posted anything and kept talking to me normally on IG!

Why would someone hide his boyfriend from memes or posts not even related to him, i feel like she's showing me a personality and posts with a second personality.

Is this a red flag, or could there be another explanation? am I overthinking this? I could really use some advice from the community.

TL;DR : GF hides me sometimes from her IG stories, mainly memes or instagram pages posts.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

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* This article was originally published here

My partner wants me to mirror her emotions more and criticizes me if I don't do it "enough"

Hi, my partner (25F) and I (30M) are going through are difficult time. In fact, I am not even sure how to describe our current status. We're long-distance. We met a few months before I moved to another country but I do come to visit about every 4 to 6 weeks (and then tend to stay for at least 1 week). One of the biggest challenges in our relationship is probably best illustrated via a current example (because it is fresh in my mind but the circumstances are of course especially difficult):

Recently, her father passed away. He didn't play a role in her life up until a few years ago. Since then they have built a relationship (talking on the phone about once a week, seeing each other for special occasions). He was sick but the death still came as a surprise. When it happened, I was in the country but not in her city. She called me and was of course devastated. Having recently experienced a close friend's father's death, I knew not to try and soothe her but to just give her pain room. And I think I did that. She got mad at me though saying things like: "Why does nobody else feel my despair" and "Don't try to take away my pain" (which I am pretty sure I did not do considering that I spent a lot of team researching how to talk to somebody that is grieving just recently). She seemed to want me to feel the same feelings as herself. I felt and still do feel tremendously sad for her and am pained knowing what she has to go through but I didn't know her father, so I do not know if I could possibly feel the same way as her. Basically the same thing happened again when she called me an hour prior to the funeral (which she said I shouldn't come to because I had already booked a train back to where I live -which I would have been happy to just not take). It basically ended with her saying that "she is so fed up with having to deal with men" and that "they never know how to be empathetic".

Now these circumstances are of course extreme but the underlying issue is one that keeps coming up in our relationship. She is upset about something or angry at somebody, I tell her that it's really understandable and really try to feel her anger too but it never seems to be enough. She tends to criticize me for how I respond in these situations which makes it only harder for me because I am now often afraid that I might "react incorrectly".

Should I be able to mirror her emotions more? Am I not being empathetic enough or is what she expects of me akin to wanting me to have no boundaries?

I am very confused about this issue. At times I think she is right to criticize me, at times I think she expects something of me that isn't healthy. Any thoughts are appreciated!

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**TL;DR;**: To be empathetic in a relationship, do I need to mirror my partner's emotions (more) or is that an unhealthy form of not having boundaries, of not being separate people?

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* This article was originally published here

Boyfriend doesnt satisfy my sexual needs.

I have a higher sex drive than my bf

So for context me F(23) & my bf M(25) have recently moved in together after being long distance for about a year. We were both virgins when we met and are each others firsts for pretty much everything. I pretty much figured out early on that sex was an issue but i figured since we were virgins and each others firsts that we would just figure it out the more comfortable we became with each other and since our first time sex has definitely gotten better but i still have issues orgasming from just penetration but he has no issue finishing sometimes. This became a problem for me after awhile and ive now become sexually fustrated from not being able to orgasm sometimes so usually i wait till hes at work or doing something to just get off on my own. I feel like i have pretty high libido and can orgasm quite alot in just a day. Im usually always down to have sex when hes in the mood and let him initiate but im starting to think maybe i shouldnt have sex as often anymore just because i know my needs arent going to be met. Ive also tried having conversations with him about sex and how we can change it and we do have sex pretty often and toys definitely help but it either is always him finishing or he just doesnt finish and neither do i and we just stop having sex and would just cuddle or go back to whatever we were doing. I love him and want our relationship to be good but i just wished he matched my sex drive and we didnt need to have these awkward conversations about sex it just makes me feel shame for wanting more.

I also feel like prn has been an issue for him hes definitely an addict because ive seen his history and found prn a couple of times on his phone and i feel like this set an expectation for him on what sex is supposed to be like. Ive talked to him about it and even offered to watch p*rn with him just to help and switch things up. Hes also had conversations about him having insecurities about his size and shape and ive always reassured him that it didnt matter.

i always let him initate sex because i know that when he does that he wants to do it. Hes also made comments on how sex feels like a workout and a chore so he gets lazy with it. it definitely shows but he’s recently gotten better with attempting to try to make me feel good too after having a couple of conversations but he usually just gives up and even told me once that it was hard to please me so he just stopped trying. Ive done all i can to try and please him and i almost feel some type of resentment towards him and i dont want to feel that way anymore.

TL;DR basically my sex needs arent being met by my bf (25) and im feeling sexually frustrated even after having conversations with him about it and tried different things and feel shame for wanting more.

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* This article was originally published here

I (f24) think I fell out of love with my girlfriend (f24)

My girlfriend and I are together for 4 years. We moved in together 2 years ago when we found a good apartment for rent. I always knew she was a bit lazy, but I thought it would change when we had our own space and freedom. She has a lot of collective items, and her room would always be cramped with them, so I always assumed it was hard for her to actually clean around all that. I would often clean her things and reorganise her shelves and closets.

Well, when we moved in together, it was the same. She has so much space now, and cleaning the house regularly isn't a huge chore, but she doesn't do it. She knows I'm very sensitive on this topic because I grew up in a dirty household. I do most, if not all some days, of the chores and cooking. In our 2 years of living together she cooked for us only once. Every other time either I cooked or I helped her cook. I always have to remind her to clean the dishes, vacuum, clear the clutter. And when it comes to the bathroom, if it was up to her, it would not be cleaned for weeks. I like to clean the bathroom and toilet at least once a week. Vacuum every few days, and do dishes and organising the rooms daily. And laundry every few days as well. She thinks I have insanely high cleaning standards. This doesn't even encompass the deep cleaning, like cleaning bed sheets, windows, walls, dishwasher, etc (she never does those). I always either have to nag her to do it, or she would do 1 chore for the week, like do the dishes (we have a dishwasher so it's barely a chore), or remove some things from the living room, and would then expect me to be in awe. She never remembers to vacuum, or mop, or anything else that requires more work. Even on her free days. Before I go to work and she's free, I have to tell her to do at least one chore to take some weight off of me. And sometimes she doesn't even do it then. Or I come back from work and then she starts doing it.

We had so many talks about it, and I told her how horrible it makes me feel to live like that. She always comforts me about it, admits it, and promises she will try to do better, but then doesn't. And then when I point it out, she brings up 1 chore she did, or something else too. And now she's excused because she's trying. But it's been 2 years of this. How much longer do I need to be patient with her until she starts to do more?

I also feel like she never puts me first. Whenever she has a bad day, or feels sick, or anything that is an inconvenience to her. I try to make her a good meal, I often make meals that she loves. Or I get her a little gift, or I take her out. I feel like she only does that for me when I do it for her. Otherwise I don't get any form of thoughtful action. Only for birthdays or occasions like that. It makes me feel so unappreciated. So much so, I haven't cooked anything nice for her or us in weeks. I started dreading doing nice things for her because of this. And she always talks about how she wishes she was more thoughtful like me. Because it makes her feel loved, and she feels like I'm missing out. But then I comfort her about it, and she doesn't do anything. She doesn't even try.

I really love her, but recently I find myself resenting her a lot. And I feel so unhappy living with her. I am genuinely thinking of breaking up, it just hurts because we've been together for 4 years.This was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but now I am having different thoughts, and it hurts because I love her in every way, but living with her makes me so unhappy. I know this will hurt so much, but I don't know what else to do. I don't know if it's me with high standards, or her. I don't know what the cause of the issue is anymore.

Tl;dr : My gf (24) and I (f24) have been having issues in our relationship, mainly on household chores and acts of service. These issues have been going on for years, with many talks, but little actions, from her side mostly. At this point, it's built up so much in me, that I can't live like this any longer and am resenting her. This hurts me a lot, it makes me very unhappy to live with her, and I want to break up.

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* This article was originally published here

How to reconnect with a friend

I (28f) have a friend (29f) from elementary school who I stayed connected with all through college and after, even being states away from one another. We’d see each other on breaks, catch up on our birthdays, and every time we’d get together it was like things had always been.

Over 2 years ago, I visited her for a weekend and things again were like they always were, like no time had past. Since then, I have texted her congratulating her engagement, on her birthday, and other life events. She has responded with “thank you” or liking the message. And this past year she has not texted me about my life events.

I think back frequently to the weekend I visited her and I can’t think of something that happened that would have distanced us, or something I may have done or said. I think about this friend a lot and miss our friendship and want to reach out and understand why it seems they’ve pulled away since then. It feels intentional on her part and I want to understand what happened because she is someone I always thought would be part of my life forever.

Any advice on how to make that first contact?

TL;DR Friend and I have disconnected, it seems intentional on their part. How do I make that first contact with them?

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* This article was originally published here

My girlfriend is away for a long research trip and I don't know how to react to her behavior

My girlfriend [24 F] and I [24 M] have been together for almost 5 years, and everything has been great. We're both 24, PhD students (in different fields) and live in California, but right now she's spending three months in New Mexico for a research trip. She's been there for a little more than a month, and I'm really starting to feel conflicted about some things.

When we talk on the phone, she tells me that most of her time is spent working, and outside of that, she says everything is pretty boring. She mentions they haven't been able to do much sightseeing or anything fun in NM because of their busy schedules. So, based on that, I was imagining her days being long and kind of dull.

However, she’s been posting a lot on social media, mostly about her research activity, but some of her posts paint a totally different picture. Basically every night she's been going to parties, bars and other events, and there are a ton of pictures with other guys. Most of them are group shots, but one that really threw me off was a picture of her in a swimsuit, being princess-carried by a guy, most likely another researcher since he also appears in her work posts, and the dude was clearly holding her up by grabbing her butt. I just can't shake the image from my mind.

Now, I don’t want to be the kind of guy who gets all possessive or jealous over social media pictures, and I don’t want to make her feel like I don’t trust her. Not even once before she left for the trip, or during the first days, has jealousy been a concern of mine. The only thing that got me anxious was missing her, but I was already planning to go visit her as soon as I could.

But at the same time, seeing these posts, especially the one where she’s being carried like that, has me feeling really off. I haven't said anything to her yet because I don't know if I'm overreacting or if this is a legit concern.

I respect her, I want her to have her freedom and fun, but I also feel like there’s a line that’s being crossed here. Am I wrong to feel this way? How should I even approach this without coming across as insecure or controlling?

TL;DR: My girlfriend is on a research trip in New Mexico, and while she tells me everything outside of work is boring, she's posting pics of herself partying with guys. One picture shows her in a swimsuit being carried by a guy holding her butt. I'm not sure how to handle it or if I'm overreacting.

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* This article was originally published here

My wife (30F) changed her exercise routine and it’s disrupting my (32M) sleep

Throwaway account because my wife is on here. I (32M) and married to my wife (30F) and we have two children, 3yo and 8 months. My wife is the primary provider, and she has a great job. When our youngest was born, we decided I would take time off and stay home with both kids until they started school. Her career is more stable than mine, and it would hurt us less financially for me to stay home.

She works 9-5 at a desk job, and is usually home by 5:30. She’s a great mom, very hands on and involved, and we share chores and care of the kids 50/50 when she’s not working. I also really appreciate her working so hard for our family, and it’s benefited our kids for me to be home with them.

Her exercise and mental health is really important especially because her job can be very mentally taxing. She’s an avid gym-goer and always has been. Up until a few weeks ago, she would hit the gym at 8pm after the kids were in bed which worked well for our schedule.

However, a couple weeks ago, she changed it up and now is going to the gym in the morning because it’s “too hard to be motivated at night.” Which means she’s awake and out the door by 5am. The kids and I usually sleep till about 6:30-7am. Ever since she started going to the gym in the morning, by our infant (who co-sleeps with her) has been waking up at 5:30, which then wakes the toddler and suddenly my day with the kids begins at 5:30am.

I am exhausted and losing sleep, and the kids are more cranky, and I feel like her new gym routine is disrupting our whole schedule. I don’t want to tell her she has to go back to working out at night, and I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable. Her mental and physical health is really important for her especially as the only one working. Any advice about this would be appreciated.

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* This article was originally published here