I dont know how to continue this relationship

I (27F) have a definitive love/hate relationship with my Father (54M). It sounds so weird to say it that way, but I do. The love part is the advice he gives me, he came every weekend when we were renovating our house to help and that was the most we ever talked, when he tries hard he can be a good father.

But most of the time hes a complete asshole. My parents have their own business but she does all the work. He sits on the couch from morning to night playing clash of clans all fucking day long while shes stressing. He has no problem calling us out, even today saying basically my husband was a girl for going to my aunts baby shower among the other men going - and yes he stayed home on the couch. He wont go to my aunts babies birthday because he wants to sit on the couch and not socialize with other people. He told me today I didnt text him at all this month meanwhile he never reaches out to me first, ever. He thinks its fun pushing buttons meanwhile making everyone upset. The amount of times hes yelled or degraded my mom in front of my sister and I is probably more than a hundred - and the answer is thats just how he is.

I legitimately dont know how to talk to him about anything, if I was alone with him I would be uncomfortable. I feel like I cant confront him because then he’ll probably make fun of me for it, or brush it off or turn it back on me. The worst part is he makes me feel liKe its normal and I dont want to be like him. I dont know what to talk to him about or how to confront him on this

Tl;dr: My dad is a jerk most times and says hurtful things, then gets upset when I never reach out to him and idk how to continue this relationship

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* This article was originally published here

Feeling not enough for my boyfriend

Disclaimer: not fluent in english

I’m a 22yo girl and I have been in a relationship for 2 years now. In the beggining of the relationship, me and my boyfriend (26M) had a really hard time because he used to follow “”models”” on ig and like their pictures. After we had many, many fights over this, he finally realized i would not stay in the relationship unless he stopped. And he did.

He has been really committed and has not liked one single picture or followed a single girl since that incident.

However, that really broke my image of him. 1 year later, I still constantly think about the way he made me feel when he liked other girl’s pictures. Feeling not good enough, feeling betrayed, feeling like, if he had a shot with them, he would take it.

Also that made me really insecure (which I wasnt before). I know it’s not right, but now i check his phone often in search of evidence of him lusting for other women. I’m not even talking about DMs or texts; i’m beyond that. I go to the search bar and type 1 letter (e.g: “S”) and wait to see what it suggests. It is usually a “”model””. And that’s how i know he went to their page. And that makes me feel terrible.

I swear I wasn’t that “crazy” or insecure before. But I don’t understand why he feels like he has to look at other woman. I’m young, i work out a lot, i’m in medschool, I satisfy him in bed. Why is it not enough?

“Just break up with him OP” i would, but i think every man does this. Am I wrong?

TLDR: i can’t get over the fact my boyfriend goes to other girls pages to lust for them while i sit around like im stupid

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* This article was originally published here

How do I go about this?

I really like someone. I mean, A LOT. She's just so damn cute, she's lovely, and she's so like me in so many ways. I finally plucked up the courage to ask for her socials, and ended up with her instagram. I'm a chronic overthinker though. I asked for hers, and she messaged me first after I did that, which I took as a good sign - I was going to wait a little bit as to not seem too eager. Apparently neither of us knew what flirting is, but we've been doing that?

My issue is, when we do talk, she's always enthusiastic to do so. But then she doesn't talk for like a couple of days but also isn't active for those couple of days, I assume she's just busy but I have a lot of anxiety surrounding people replying to me, due to issues with someone else in the past which have messed up my mental state a bit - I've worked on it and im okay now mostly, just a few lingering issues.

Also, in person, we frequently go silent, probably because we're awkward teenagers who don't know what to say? I dread asking her on a date because of this, I dont want to be awkwardly silent. But I'm pretty sure I have a good chance with her. She gave me a silly little thing because of a joke I made, spent a good 20 minutes making it, and labelling it, with a date and smiley face and all, surely she wouldn't go to that effort just for some random guy?

I need to know what I'm doing wrong, I get nervous around her which is of course natural, but I want to be able to hold a conversation better with her. Over text was fine, we were talking from like 10pm to 1am the other night, that was the night she made the little thing she gave me. Trying not to give too many details in case somehow, miraculously, someone who knows about the two of us finds this post.

I probably haven't made much sense. TLDR: two awkward soon to be adults (I'm 18 in just under half a year, she's 17 in a month or so), at least one of us has never had a relationship (me, maybe her too considering she has said she doesn't know how to flirt/didnt know we were flirting), How do we hold conversations better and how do I ask her on a date, I'm thinking of cinema, then food?

Thankyou for any advice.

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* This article was originally published here

My wife (21f) got angry at me (24m) because I told her I would have had more to drink if I were not driving.

A couple days ago, my coworkers and I were invited to go to a baseball game in a private suite. For reference, this was the first time I had gone out without my wife since we got married. There were drinks for etc… initially my wife was going to pick me up from the game and I was planning on having a couple drinks.

My wife texts me before the game that she’s extremely tired and that she will come pick me up but that she wanted me to drive back. I said of course no problem.

I had a drink when the game began with all my coworkers and haven’t had more since then. They tried to get me to drink more but I told them I was driving and they laid off.

Anyways my wife picks me up and immediately says she didn’t do this because she didn’t want me drinking and that she was extremely tired. I said I know it’s not a big deal I had a great time. She then asked me if I were not driving if I would have had more to drink.

I said yes I probably would have had 3-4 drinks. The mood instantly changes, she is now angry with me. I ask her what’s wrong and she says that she doesn’t understand why I need more than one drink.

I said she was acting controlling and that 3-4 drinks is perfectly normal in the context I was in… she gets angrier and starts saying why can’t I just respect her wishes and she’s giving me the silent treatment all the way till the next morning.

For reference: her mother has had issues with alcoholism and I haven’t struggled with that but I have had too much to drink on one occasion earlier in our relationship. I understand it’s coming from a place of care and love, but it’s stifling.

I just don’t know what the correct next step is here. I don’t know if maybe I am the one in the wrong and I just need other peoples thoughts here.

Before people start asking, nearly every other aspect of our relationship is extremely positive.

TL;DR: wife is being very controlling over alcohol.

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* This article was originally published here

Date turned friend acting weird after rejection

I’d (31F) friendzoned a person (36M) I went on one blind date with and he was still pursuing me from the friendzone. I had a conversation with him about how some of his comments/behavior felt like things people would say/do in a relationship rather than friendship and how I didn’t see us being anything more than friends. I told him I did feel a connection with him but given some differences couldn’t picture a future together. He expressed some disappointment and said he’d be more mindful of what he says/does. Since then he’s been acting quite cold and distant, which is understandable. But I feel like he’s being immature by just leaving my messages at read especially when they are about his dog that I’m dog sitting for a bit while he’s traveling. He’s traveling at the moment so I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but he has time to post stories, be online etc all except respond or react to the texts. He used to text me daily and be quite responsive and now he ignores messages that aren’t even for my benefit (I’m doing him a favor with the dog sitting). The more he behaves this way, the more I start thinking that perhaps my gut feeling about him being immature at 36 was true. This makes me feel like none of the things he said or did as my “friend” was genuine and he was just pursuing me and is now showing his true colors. Is his behavior justified or should he be handling it more maturely? Should I bother telling him how I feel?

TLDR: Date turned friend being distant and unresponsive after I told him I only saw us as friends. Is behavior justified or should I speak to him

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* This article was originally published here

What does everyone think about this conversation? Am I trying too hard? Shall I just give up altogether?

Person of interest (POI): I just need some time to think about this. I didn’t realize that you were subject to more long term deployment internationally within the next 13 months until our call, and at the time I didn’t quite wrap my brain around it 😅

Me: This is the last and only deployment I'll be a part of until I finally get out around about July, possibly earlier. That is truth, but yes, it's also an attempt to get your interest back. If not, and you've ultimately decided not to go at this altogether, I'd understand and fully respect that decision.

POI: Ok, not gonna lie to you that definitely helps the situation.

Me: I'm putting all my chips at the table for that outcome... (After 4 days) I'm writing this only because I've got enough strength and courage in me, thanks to alcohol. This is, though, by no means, not a desperate attempt. This is no more than a mere confession about how I feel about everything.

I understand and respect how you feel about the distance and frequency. I don't blame you on that and, honestly, it's not the first time I'm exposed to it. I'm not going to say anything that would otherwise convince you to try and stick things out with me.

What I'm going to do instead is to let you know of how much I'd like to be in a relationship with you. I've already told you that I'm really interested in you, but I also won't force myself to you if you've made up your mind about the whole thing in general.

I also want to communicate through my willingness to become friends even if we don't end up in a relationship because I really do want to get to know you and I don't really have much friends at all. If I'd be so bold as I can, I'd be willing to wait until my time here is done. Whenever than happens and you're still single, I'd like to come back and see if there's still interest in your end about us potentially dating. If there is, brilliant. If not, then I'd simply chalk this up as a wrong time, wrong place scenario yet again. Regardless, I'd wait for your answer about everything. The only thing I'd ask is that you'd be honest for both our sakes. You're a very desirable man, [POI].

POI: Thank you for your candor [ME]. With the stage I’m at in my life, I’d really like to be engaged in something that doesn’t demand distance. Even with you back in ___ you’re still pretty far away and seeing each other regularly feels like it would be challenging.

That said, I’d still like to go on a date and see if there’s something here. Naturally I can’t promise anything, but a date at least feels like it would provide the missing chemistry component I’m still looking to evaluate.

Me: I'd take that or any other chance I can get at hanging out with you. I'll let you know as soon as we're bound to come back. Let's go on a date by then. If there's nothing after that, I'd gladly accept whatever comes out of it, friendship or not or whatever the outcome may be. If we do end up being back to complete strangers after that one date, I'd like to express my desire to come back and see if you're still single after I get out, given the chance that you'd still be interested in me by then. If not and there's really no interest and no chance at all for us, I'd very much respect that as well. I'm not going to give up on you easily until you actually tell me to stop. I won't push myself on you especially if I'm made known of the fact that there's no place for me there, but I also don't give up easily, hence the things I just said.

POI: Understood 😊

TL;DR- I'm trying to date someone who seemingly doesn't want to proceed because I'm often away on missions and we live about 2 hours from each other. Shall I still pursue a possible relationship or just give up altogether?

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* This article was originally published here

Is it bad to want to exclusively celebrate your boyfriend's birthday?

Context: we've been dating for 4 years, we're both adults (24f and 26m), but we haven't moved in together yet. He doesn't care whether or not he does anything for his birthday, but I always like to celebrate his birthdays. Usually, I have plans to go out for the day/have dinner, prepare/bake a cake, and buy gifts. I do this without thinking that his family would want to do anything for him too (cause I never get any birthday celebrations, esp as an adult). But I realise that his family literally buys a cake and has a mini celebration for him every year. I don't want to judge, but I do think it's a bit weird to still do that for an adult. Anyway, it's not that I don't want him to celebrate with his family, but most of the time, I want to treat him with these kind of things, and vice versa... My family already doesn't celebrate my birthdays lol, but even if they did, of course I would appreciate it. But it's a different feeling when it's your family and your significant other. I would want to celebrate my birthday with him too. Like I no longer expect anything from my family, but with a significant other, you kindaa expect it you know. Cause family will always be your backbone, but your significant other (esp a serious one), is your future... Lol cringe statement, but it's true. Anyway, what do you guys think? And yes, I could literally just celebrate with his family too. But like I said, it's a different feeling... Like I have plans to be romantic and stuff. Can't really do that with family around... But anyway, let me know what you guys think...

TL;DR: Bf's family still buys him a cake, and has a mini celebration for him every year, even though he's an adult... but I also want to make plans with him too, and do romantic stuff with him... Is it bad that I want to celebrate his birthday exclusively?

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* This article was originally published here