Following serious marital issues 4 years ago, my husband (35M) has had two long-term affairs. I (35F) don't want a divorce but don't know if there's any way to make him stop

My husband and I both work in very stressful and demanding jobs and are in the same field. Earlier we worked at the same firm so we at least got lunch together and commuted to work together. But it hasn't been the case for the last 4 years. We are both in our mid 30s.

We have had our ups and downs. He asked me to go to couples counselling when our problems first began but I said no. I deeply regret this now.

Because he's been having affairs since then. I know that he was seeing a friend of his for a year. But then he stopped. However, since last year, he's been seeing another friend of his and he's away from home a lot more than he was with the previous affair.

I don't want to walk away from the marriage. I also love him very much. I do think he still loves me but things have changed a lot. I'm mentioning this because people often assume that if you are not financially dependent on a man and don't have kids, you should be able to leave without problems. But I don't want to.

However, I don't know if there's anything that will make him stop the serial affairs.

I never thought I would be that woman who would turn a blind eye but yet I have become that person.

Really need some advice.

TLDR: My husband and I hit a rough patch 4 years ago and he's had serial long-term affairs. Don't want to leave but don't know if I can really get him to stop.

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* This article was originally published here

Today I was honest with my gf

This all happened an hour ago of me typing, my gf and Started dating in Highschool, and are currently dating in college, so today in a conversation with her, her friends, and a mutual friends, she brought up the topic of PDA, and how she always disliked PDA because she didn’t want to just be seen as u/Wonderful’s girlfriend, and all her friends laugh and say they understood but our mutual friend, I’ll call him Ryan, speaks up and says well it wasn’t communicated well on your end I guess huh. This statement makes everyone go quiet and when my girlfriend tried to pry, Ryan just told her to talk to me.

As everyone leaves she begins prying, at first I tell her it’s all in the past, but she really wants to know, and so as the prying got on I spilled, but I feel as I spilled I let out more than I had planned.

In the 2 years we were together I always found it odd how I could never hold hands with her in public, but with her guy friends she seemed so open, hugs, holding hands etc. Her hatred for PDA with me but the opposite with her friends always made me feel so less than, on top of that it always felt like I had to prioritize her. We had prom and everyone including my mom, made me ask her despite me not wanting to go, but I love how it’s an expectation for me but on her end she’s able to ditch me to go hang out with her friends. And sure her PDA acceptance got better as this year went on but it was only when the year had ended so it no longer mattered.

Then there’s also another one of her friends who I hate being around, but her reluctance to cut him off an always putting me in social situations with him has had me contemplating a break up every time. And when she asked me why I put up with all of this I just said, I’m her first relationship and she’s mine, I don’t really know what to do. I’ve liked her since the 6th grade, I worked so hard to get with her I don’t want to end it.

After the conversation she hasn’t spoken to me and is being very distant and I’m scared.

Tl;dr: I was honest with my gf about the last year of our relationship and how I’ve felt and she isn’t speaking to me

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* This article was originally published here

MCPS, teachers union aim to reset relationship - BethesdaMagazine.com

MCPS, teachers union aim to reset relationship  BethesdaMagazine.com

* This article was originally published here

My girlfriend compares me to her sister

Hi,

I (F22) and my girlfriend (F24) have been together for over two years.

I'm a competitive powerlifter and I have been into the sport since I was fourteen and I still do it at present. It's been almost a decade and I'm soon hoping to travel and compete more. There is one exercise I can't do, however, and it is pull-ups, not because I don't have the strength, but because I have elbow injury that's been preventing me from doing certain exercises. Anyway, recently I tried seeking therapy and am now learning to do pull ups despite my injury. I can do about three (I weight 190 pounds, I'm just tall) and I'm so happy that I decided to share it with my girlfriend.

The problem it, my girlfriend has a sister (F16) who began doing light exercises two months ago. She can do three pulls ups as well but she is very light (under 100 pounds). My girlfriend always says how I must seek advice from her and stuff like this and I remind her that my injury doesn't cancel a decade of training (compared to her sister's two months). If anything, her sister regularly asks me what she could improve and reaches out to me for guidance.

Yesterday my girlfriend was happy to share she was accepted in academia for arts. I bought her a new purse, some accessories for arts hobby and baked her cookies to show my pride and appreciation. In the evening I shared that I did three pull ups and I was about to cry when she said "You should learn from my sister, she does three no problem! Why took you so long? She must be following some special plan you should too," I felt kind of hurt and said "Well, she doesn't deadlift 400 pounds like me too." And she said "Why compare her to you, you are heavier and have trained for a long time." And I said "That's the point why are you always comparing me to her?"

My gf tried defending herself my saying she just points out how proud she is of her sister and I just left and haven't been in the mood to talk. How do I proceed? She says she doesn't compare me to anyone but anytime I even clue about training she would begin "Oh, my sister just did that..."

Other example is when I went jogging and she said when I returned "my sister beats you with twenty seconds haha." She then said I could be jealous of her sister which was the cherry top.

Any advice?

TL;DR my girlfriend compares my advanced weightlifting experience with her sister who began two months ago. When I confronted her and asked her to notice my achievements more she said I'm jealous.

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* This article was originally published here

Taylor Swift And Joe Alwyn's Astrological Compatibility, Explained - Women's Health

Taylor Swift And Joe Alwyn's Astrological Compatibility, Explained  Women's Health

* This article was originally published here

Does he still love me? Or should I move on??

I (25F) and my lover(31 M) both married but not to each other, fell in love somehow almost four years back. I already had a daughter with my husband and his marriage was upcoming while we fell for each other. It was a distressing situation cuz we loved each other but could not do anything about it. He proposed to me but I gave in soon cuz I have been feeling the same towards him during our chats. He is my husbands relative which makes it all the more complex since we will see each other probably for the rest of our lives. To make it worse , his wife found my texts soon after their marriage and we made her believe that it was a one side love. He pulled back and we stopped everything. We had nothing but few weeks of chatting and calling. I tried to move on and few years passed and I had another child. I almost moved on but never stopped loving him. But I was ok with it. The complication starts here. After a year or so since I had my baby, he came back to me saying he still loves me and can’t stop thinking about me. We started talking to each other during scraps of his time and once again I was completely into him and he too fell deeper in love with me. We both knew that there is no future to this but we wanted to make some memories for us. We met once and got somewhat intimate but I couldn’t enjoy it fully due to the given circumstances. He again started having problems with his wife since she saw some more of my texts. Still she was made to believe it was a one sided thing. The problem is he loves her and me and cannot think about losing her. I am so in love with him that I can’t bear to think of staying away from him. After all, we have only one life. He again pulled away from me and I am shattered. He says he loves me but can’t lose her. I can understand but I am devastated. I lost interest in everything. I can’t write the whole story here. This is only a vague summary.

TL;DR - I am in a difficult love situation where I cannot stay nor leave since we both are married individuals.What do I do? How do I move on? I will see him again during family meets and all , so how do I move on?

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* This article was originally published here

My ex feels a way when I end the call

So my ex (M23) of a year broke up with me (F22) about a month ago. I took a week off to not contact him as the breakup came out of nowhere and I felt blindsided. 2 weeks ago we came back in contact and we are in somewhat of contact for like once a week. I don’t reach out to him, but he reaches out to me to check on me and what not (my grandma recently died so he calls to see how I’m doing).

I’ve realized that after we talk for a while and I don’t have anything else to say, I’ll tell him that I’m leaving the call now and that I hope he has a good day/evening. He’ll then say something along the lines of “oh you’re leaving the call?” Or he’ll say “Oh you’re going to go talk to your new man?” (I have not mentioned seeing anyone else to him but I am seeing other people). I don’t get it. I don’t feel the need to continue a long conversation as there is nothing else to talk about… why does he act so surprised when I tell him that I’m leaving the conversation? I know some may say I should stop contact with him but honestly I don’t have feelings anymore to where talking to him would make me feel some type of way. I’ve been distracting myself with work and other hobbies of life. Maybe I’m just overthinking. I appreciate the advice in advance

TLDR: My ex feels a way when I end the call when he broke up with me

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* This article was originally published here