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Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Following serious marital issues 4 years ago, my husband (35M) has had two long-term affairs. I (35F) don't want a divorce but don't know if there's any way to make him stop

My husband and I both work in very stressful and demanding jobs and are in the same field. Earlier we worked at the same firm so we at least got lunch together and commuted to work together. But it hasn't been the case for the last 4 years. We are both in our mid 30s.

We have had our ups and downs. He asked me to go to couples counselling when our problems first began but I said no. I deeply regret this now.

Because he's been having affairs since then. I know that he was seeing a friend of his for a year. But then he stopped. However, since last year, he's been seeing another friend of his and he's away from home a lot more than he was with the previous affair.

I don't want to walk away from the marriage. I also love him very much. I do think he still loves me but things have changed a lot. I'm mentioning this because people often assume that if you are not financially dependent on a man and don't have kids, you should be able to leave without problems. But I don't want to.

However, I don't know if there's anything that will make him stop the serial affairs.

I never thought I would be that woman who would turn a blind eye but yet I have become that person.

Really need some advice.

TLDR: My husband and I hit a rough patch 4 years ago and he's had serial long-term affairs. Don't want to leave but don't know if I can really get him to stop.

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