I am in love with this woman. We found eachother while we were both in abusive relationships and fell in love every way possible. My ex before her has many issues. Her best friend growing up killed herself over a breakup and I've always been worried she'd do the same. Shes threatened it many times, among many others things that are similar.
We've been seeing eachother for a year and a half. About 8 months ago, I moved out of my house that I lived with my ex at. I've been trying to cut off contact completely, but she is obsessed with me. Even my family is aware. Last time I went no contact, she had a psychotic episode and ended up hospitalized. I've been scared to break her hear since.
On the day my grandma died, my band was playing a show and my ex came to tell me about my grandma's death since my mother reached out to her, since my phone was broken at the time. A friend filmed the concert, and my girlfriend saw this and noticed me next to her. Without thinking first, she immediately freaked out and left me. I dont really blame her, I know how that looks.
She is not with this new guy, already seems really committed to him, and is taking a lot of molly and drinking a lot and it worries me. I've reached out to her friend who told me she loves me a lot, but is very upset and that she just wants her to be happy. I do too, and I know I can make her happy, because she told me that herself. I think she is on a bad path of self destruction.
She stayed the night last night, we kissed a lot and told eachother we love one another many times. She told me she was leaving for work, but I found out she was with the new guy. I texted her asking why she lied and she replied coldly, laughing at me. I feel like such an idiot. I sobbed to her several times while she was over. She was probably trying not to laugh. Her friend told me that she is on drugs ajd drunk and thinking irrationally. I'm worried about her.
Since she left me I've been seriously heartbroken. It's hard for me to eat, sleep, work, anything. We were so perfect for eachother and we both agreed on that last night but she is choosing to continue on this path of rushing things with the new guy and self destructing. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm so hurt, so depressed, and so confused. I hope I hear from her today so I know she's back to normal.
TL;DR: girlfriend broke up with me and is going off the deep end. I'm heartbroken and having trouble functioning.
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