I hate myself and I hate life right now. I want to feel a woman’s touch so badly. I almost picked up my phone and called and escort. I’m just afraid of getting in trouble with the law. Anyways I went to a strip club for the first time today. I told myself I was just going to pay for a dance and then leave.
I walked up to one of the strippers and asked how much she charged and then I agreed to pay. Long story short she ended up dancing with other guys but she never danced with me. I’m so upset right now. I haven’t been this upset in a long time. When she was on stage shaking her ass in my face I was so fucking ready to get a lap dance. I haven’t felt a woman’s touch in years. I just desperately want to feel some curves. I was ready to pay for it. For whatever reason she didn’t let me dance with her and she went home.
I can’t even masturbate right now. I feel pathetic as fuck for touching myself when I could have had a woman touching me. I hate life. I won’t even have a chance to try again until Wednesday night. Fuck. Life sucks balls. I was going to give her so much money too. I know I’m lonely and desperate as fuck but I feel like I need this.
Tl;dr I can’t even get a lap dance
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