Six months ago I had a massive fight with my sister over my life choices. I don't feel that the choices I made were wrong, but there were things I said mid-argument that were over the line. She was living with me at the time, she moved out without a word the next day. I called to apologise but she blocked me. I sent her an email and she replied "Thanks.". We've seen each other twice since then. The first time I tried to talk to her, and she told me to fuck off. The second time I didn't even try, which was just as well as she told our brother she was going to just tell me to fuck off again if I tried talking to her.
Having had some time to reflect, and some therapy, I have come to the conclusion that my life is better without my sister in it. I know that sounds horrible, but when she was in my life I was always worried about her, what she was doing, and what she'd think of my life. My siblings (38m, 32m, 27f, me, 17f, and 1f) and I all have issues, but she's the only sibling who I feel worse after talking to, because when I talk to her she tends to just take digs at my life choices. I'm just not sure what my presence in her life, and vice versa, will do at this point to make things better.
Our older brother (32m) is getting married just before the new year. I'm very happy for him, and am in theory very excited to come to the wedding, but he's now said that unless I make up with our sister, neither of us are invited. I've said I won't be hostile, I just won't speak to her, and he's said that isn't good enough, we're his sisters, he loves us and wants us to have a relationship. I feel forced into this, because I love my brother and want to be there for him, and I do love my sister, but I don't feel the need to apologise, particularly as my sister has a habit of expecting an apology without giving one back, and she said things in that argument, too, that I don't believe she feels bad for.
I want to go to my brother's wedding, and be there for him on his day. I'm also going to be bringing 1f and 17f who live with me, plus my son (4m), so if I don't go 1f and 4m can't go and 17f will have to go alone, which she isn't comfortable with, but I can't agree to reconcile with my older sister when I have no reason to believe she's changed, and aside from the comments made during the argument, which I have already apologised for, I have done nothing wrong. I have already tried to say this to my brother once, and he said that he has bigger things to deal with than our petty argument, and this is our thing to work out, even though he's the one who wants it resolved and it isn't petty.
What is my best route out of this situation, ideally one that still lets me go to his wedding?
TL;DR: Brother getting married and wants me to resolve issues with our sister before the wedding. I feel that my issues with our sister are better left unresolved but he doesn't want to hear it. I still really want to attend his wedding but not if it means catering to sister.
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