I haven't heard of him in 3 weeks now (since Sep.9th) and he's been on and off with him having depressive ruts. Having his best friend go to uni and losing him as a co-worker (they worked in the same place together), he has said before he feels like a failure (though he's been training for Special Forces for AF Special Recon with his coaches when he ships out in the future) but recently he's been slowly recovering from it, with him going to the gym recently from when he last messaged. He often tells me he doesn't deserve me, is not a good partner romantically, saying he's wishy washy in being emotionally available but I repeatedly would reassure him that we'd go through it together. He says he tends to shut off when he goes through ruts of depression, last time being only several days and it really makes me anxious if he ghosted me (even he assures me I never annoy him or would never ghost me), apologizing when he does have depression and shut off when he msg's me and even called himself a jerk.
We've been going on for a month right now talking everyday until depression would get the best of him.
He would express his gratitude in telling me I'm the best when it comes to supporting him, since he is usually the type of guy to not dump his emotions as much, but is more like a listener. Should I just give him space since I'd messaged him but he hasn't responded back since Sep.9th? It's making me fill with anxiety and I'm losing sleep just overthinking about it all day I've been hurt by a lot of guys before and it depresses me to go back to square one if he has ghosted me.
I also would check funeral homes in his local area to check if something bad happened to him and if he died... and I hate this anxiety that I have.
TLDR:
Bf not messaging in 3 weeks, has a history of depressive ruts for weeks and has a tendency to shut off, should I think he given up on us?
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