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Wednesday, September 14, 2022

Former student (37F)/Professor (35M) relationship professional suicide?

TL;DR I'm (35M) in love with a former student (37F). Would pursuing this relationship be career ending?

Throwaway for obvious reasons. I'm a relatively young lecturer with stable employment at a decent university. I enjoy my work and have good working relationships with other staff in my department as well as friendships with a few of them that have ended outside of work. Cutting to the chase, I have a former student who I have gotten close to through mutual friends outside of university. She graduated last year and has not been my student for about 18 months. She's a non-traditional student and is a couple of years older than me. We are both divorced with children from previous relationships. I have unexpectedly fallen for her and she has stated that she has feelings for me. She has moved to another, more prestigious university in a different field. Is there any way I could pursue this further without it being frowned upon and potentially ruining my and her reputation? She was a particularly brilliant student and well liked and remembered by my colleagues, so if this relationship were to work out it is not something I'd want to or be able to hide.

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