My bf is studying for his physical therapist certification exam. He is super anxious about it and has even told me that he needs me to push him a little to study because it's affecting him so much he gets scared to study. We haven't set a date for the test yet because I believe he needs to go into it with better confidence.
However, whenever I bring up studying it becomes clear that I have ruined his whole mood. He stops smiling and becomes distant. I don't take it personally because I know he's just so anxious about it but has told me on multiple occasions that he needs me to be on top of him about this. I don't nag and I don't bring it up everyday or when we're having fun or out with friends, etc.
The thing is that he keeps putting a lot of energy into other projects, which I've supported because it's good for him to express himself. But today I brought up the question, as kindly as I could, if maybe he is using all of these projects as a way to avoid studying. He didn't respond and changed the subject before heading out, not angrily or anything, but clearly down.
I'm not sure what the best approach is here. I've asked if maybe he should talk to a therapist but money is really tight right now. I've asked if he wants me to back off with the studying but he always says no because he knows that he needs to do it. I'm seriously at a loss here about what to do. He has already taken a break from it all for a few months, which I supported because I knew that medical school had been so draining.
I just have no idea how I can help him. Any advice would be appreciated.
Tl;dr: bf asks me to remind him to study but gets upset and distant whenever I do and I don't know how else to help him.
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