He wants to convert to Islam

I (25,F) have been seeing this guy (25,M), who is a very kind and lovely person for a couple of weeks. He treats me very respectfully and we seem to have great chemistry. He even gifted me a sentimental necklace, which is something no man has ever done for me. I have been wishing to find a serious man who shows effort and commitment.

Now on to the issue: I am an atheist who left my church and has no plans on having religion in an active form in my life. He used to be an atheist as well until a few years ago (now he believes in god) and wants to convert to Islam. Part of his family comes from an Islamic country in Africa and he wants to fully connect with them through Islam. I have no issue with my partner believing in a higher power or being part of a religion especially if for instance his parents decided that for him as long as he is not practicing or a too devouted believer.

However, this is not the case here. The thing is, he told me that he is in fact planning on actively practicing Islam (No drinking, Praying, taking part in Ramadan, maybe stop eating pork,…). He would not expect me to convert or believe the same but that I respect and support his conversion and practice. What worries me is that he is very young and already so deeply motivated to becoming a part of a another religion and even would like to actively practice it. It makes me think it’s quite a bit a different scenario to beeing born into it and going along with it and I wonder if he could become more and more involved in the religion as time goes on.

Ultimately, I ended things with him because I do not think that I can support him the way he‘d wish/need me to. And I am very worried that since he will be a converted believer, who actively practices, his beliefs will only get stronger and stronger with time and age as I already mentioned.

However, I still regularly see him in our friends group and we do have great chemistry and I greatly appreciate the person he is. I am wondering if I overreacted and said goodbye to a possibly great match but I take relationships and religion extremely seriously and believe that it’s important to be on the same page when it comes to beliefs especially when actively practiced.

Would you have given it a serious long term shot if you had been in my position?

Tl;Dr I ended things with a guy I was seeing because he wants to convert and actively start practicing Islam

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Am I anything to him? Im so confused

I (21F) have strong feelings for this guy (25M). Unfortunately i met him 2months ago, 5days before i moved abroad for studies :( When i met him for the first time it felt like i knew him for ages. We have had 10 dates so far. 4 days in a row before i moved. And 7 dates in a row last week when i was visiting home.

When im not around he doesnt text at all. I guess cuz there is no point. Unless i do ofc then he replies. He also never complimented me or expressed his feelings.

But when I was around, he already brought me to his office, introduced me to his colleagues, invited me to his friends hang out, trusted me with his house keys when i slept over and he had to leave early for work, he met my friends, and yeah he did go out with me days in a row...

TL;DR: We met very recently. He treats me like a gf but never unitiated or expressed anything...

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Reconnecting with my EX

I dont want to hear that i shouldnt or things like that please.

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We were together for 1 year.

So obv we broke up...but not in a bad way she wanted to stay like a friend but i couldnt do that so i cut everything with her and then i started going on therapy that helped me change perspective about that. Now i can see that we can maybe rekindle our relationship and start again but there is small problem.

It was long distance relationship and we were connected through discord and i dont think that going to visit her is good idea rn. but now that we were not together anymore she found new friends on discord from diffrent contries so she is spending time with them and obv she cant just go and start doing all the activities that we used to do together again with me after few days(few days of texting her)...i need to reconnect somehow so we can talk more or text more but i dont know how to do that...i dont want to push her and spam her. I dont want to text her everyday so i dont feel pushy and needy + spamming her isnt good idea. But i kinda just dont want to text her once in a month. I would like to try reconnect slowly but im clueless how to do it

yesterday when we texted she said that she doesnt want to open to another person about her problems cuz others just refuse to "know her" ( i mean her fav things and so on) and that i was the only one who cared.

so i would like to ask you Reddit How should i proceed and not fuck up things? how should i not look needy and pushy and not annoying her with my texts?

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TL;DR! : We broke up i refused to be friends i cut all connection. i went to therapy and they changed my Prespective and now we are Reconnecting but i would like to ask you how to do it properly so i dont fuck things up,

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Am I[28f] a bad person for cutting off my best friend[27f] for dating my ex[29m]

Earlier this year I had an opportunity of mine to see an ex at a bar he worked at, let’s call him Tom. Tom was a terrible partner but we had 8 years of on and off serious history and despite the fact a lot of it was bad he remains a very big part of my past. I had a lot of therapy following the breakup over the year after it stopped and have very much moved on in my life until he reached out.

Due to the nature of our relationship and how things ended I wasn’t comfortable seeing him alone at the bar he worked at and thought I’d run it by my best friend, let’s call her Louise. She offered to come with me and we would sit outside with our dogs and only really see him while he was serving so I could get whatever sort of closure I was looking for but so that I wouldn’t feel unsafe around him and I could use her as an excuse to leave. All in all everything was pleasant but after I left I had no intention of having contact again.

A few weeks later Louise causally mentions she was talking to Tom about a party she went to which completely blindsided me, I was curious as to why she had been talking to him as they had no reason to even be connected on social media and she made up an excuse about having some mutual friends. A few more weeks go by and it doesn’t get mentioned at all until all of a sudden it seems like every conversation Louise is bringing up Tom. At this stage I reiterate a TLDR version of the hell he put me through and advised that maybe he’s not someone she needs to maintain a friendship with and that it makes me uncomfortable hearing about him so much, but ultimately they’re both adults.

Apparently this wasn’t clear enough as a few weeks later she is still mentioning him and my old friend group and sharing stories to which I acknowledge yes I know all of these people they were in my life for years and hearing her talk about them and Tom made me very uncomfortable and that I wasn’t okay with her being friends with him or dating him. Louise says that she understands and that she will end it because I made it very clear that it would cost our friendship as I’m not okay with him being in my life even in the sidelines and she lets slip after much prodding that they were already sleeping together but that it would stop because she has too much respect for me to hurt me like that.

Louise starts dating her plan b and seems happy but in a conversation when we are hanging out I recommend she think about if she actually has feelings for him or if she’s just settling and using him as she seems very apathetic about their dates. After this I get a novel of a message from Louise after we had just finished hanging out. It outlined that despite my boundaries she wanted to continue to continue seeing Tom since she didn’t have real feelings for plan b but she hoped I could be happy for them. I tell her that our friendship is over because I don’t want Tom in my life and go scorched earth on social media.

The next day I get a message from h r saying she needs me in her life and she already misses me so much and that no matter if I let her back in or don’t she will get Tom out of her life because of the respect she has for me and our friendship.

I replied saying I needed to sleep on it and today I get a message saying she’s going to drop something off, and while I’m eating dinner she does. It’s a photo album of all of our adventures with our dogs and the last page says she wishes we can fill up with more memories. I take o a moment to process and send her a message thanking her for the book and asking how Tom took the friendship ending. She said she didn’t do it but she loves me so much and wants me back in her life despite dating Tom. I replied with no uncertain terms that the friendship is dead.

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Married(37m) in love with my boss(55f)

Okay, here we go... I(37m) have been working for my boss(55f) for 5 years. Very intelligent woman, married, beautiful, mother of 4 and in a wheelchair for 15 years. I haven't stopped thinking about her since the first day I started working with her, I've been living with my wife (36f) for 4 years, we have a son (2), we have a good relationship but I see "us" more and more as a routine, I know that it doesn't help my relationship to always have my boss on my mind, and this surprises me, I've had a healthy dose of relationships, casual sex, friends with benefits and even compared to my current relationship I've never been in love to this extent.

It is planned on January 2nd that I will go to work elsewhere within the organization, a promotion to use my new degree, I have been miserable, I will earn more salary, but I am sad that I will no longer see and talk to her every day, that she wont be confiding things in me, asking me for kisses and hugs when she is sad or when the spinal injury gives her even more pain than usual. I can only imagine myself with this perfectly imperfect woman and my son.

TL;DR - Married in love with a much older women that i can't take out of my minde and it's destroying my relationship.

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Is he hiding sth or am I just overreacting

This is a throaway account for abvious reasons My husband(32m) and I (29f) have been together for 6 years and married for 4 months. The first months of our relationship were rocky as he was very distant and cold and then like 3 months in the relationship things got better and here we are today. I have to also emphasise that we met through a datin app. Back in 2019 we were engaged at the time ( this is important to the story) he was about to show me sth on messenger and he was scrolling down to old conversations and i was sitting next to him and that's when I spot that he had numerous conversations with girls dating back to when we first started dating i asked him about that and he gave me consent to go through them. These are girls that he met through the dating app (before dating me) and to be honest the girls were so flirty but he stated that he now has a gf and is not interested anymore except from one girl that i will call amanda. There were no flirting with amanda but constant talking and I discoverd that they used to meet back in 2017. He said that she was just a friend and he said he told me about meeting her. I have no recollection of that and the first time i ever heared about this friend amanda was in 2019. But i moved past it. Fast foraward to 2 months ago i was on his whatsapp sending myself the honeymoon pictures he took. He is the one who asked me to do it myself he was busy doing sth else. When i opened whatsapp i spotted a conversation that dates back to 2018 with this amanda. To be honest i had sneak peack and there was nothing alarming but i felt big unease. They would talk about their lives, he would ask about her daily details like where she is studying now what are her future plans he would recommand movies... while she was always the one initiating the conversations he is always there to respond. Funny thing at that time we are already between 1 and 2 years ln the relationship and he never mentionned my existence.I brought this up and he said that they haven't talked since 2018 that she is nothing but a friend who he used to know since 2015 and that was it. Not very proud but i went through his conversations with his best friend only to find out that amanda was his crush for 1.5 years and he wanted to date her but she declined for some reasons. Remember our first 3 months of dating? While he was litteraly ignoring me he was venting to his Bff how she is not responding to his messages, how she is changing her profile photo and being active without responding how sometimes he thinks about blocking her to feel better and then he would say " but u know now i have a girlfriend" I confronted him about this and he said that yes he used to like her but since she friendzoned him she is nothing but a friend and he did not lie because he just considered her as a friend. He said that i'm the love of his life and that she means nothing and i'm digging up old stories with no meaning because they haven't talked for 4 years. I said what if she pops up again in his life and he said she won't. Well guess what? i discovered that she has sent him a follow request on insta 3 weeks prior to this conversation and while he did not accept her he did not deny her as well and he looked in my eyes and lied saying that she won't pop up when she already did. He defended himself by saying that he did not accept her so he blocked her from being in his life and that's why he said she won't pop up. He also said he was afraid of my reaction because what are the odds she would send a request in this period so he just brushed it off While we talked this through and it's been a little over a month now i still feel shit about it. I feel shit because he lied about the real nature of the relationship( while he thinks he did not lie she is nothing but an old friend for him and he said that this is not a significant story to bring up and she has no place in his life and that bringing up insgnificant shit from the past won't do us any good especially that they haven't even kissed she is just a girl he liked and nothing happened and then he fell head over heals for me) I feel hurt because he knew she was a crush and he kept talking to her even though we were dating for over a year. I feel shit because he would always respond to her. I feel shit because he never mentionned me ( he said he did not mention me because they never bring up their dating life and their conversations is always platonic ) and i feel shit for not telling me the truth when l asked. I feel shit because i don't know if he ever stopped liking her when were dating. Espacially the first 2 years when they were texting He applogized to me and said that he should've been more transparent and because he knows deep down that she means nthing to him that's why he did not bother go into details. He said that he never cared about any of my past relationships and what matters is when we got together. He said he never even thought about cheating and he responded out of friendship. I'm not mad because he had a crush on some girl back in 2015 and 2016 i'm mad because he lied when i asked. Am i overreacting and being paranoid over a nonsense story or is my husband hiding something? Idk what to think. I would appreciate some insghit

Tl;dr found out that my husband used to have a crush on a girl while he always stated that they were just friends and I don't know how to feel about it

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How we met: ‘Losing my wife and child was very hard. Then Rhiannon came into my life’

Dirk and Rhiannon, both 53, got chatting on a goth music forum in 2010. They married in 2014, and now live together near Frankfurt in Germany

In the early 00s, Rhiannon was a big fan of dark wave goth music. In 2010, she joined an online forum to follow German band Deine Lakaien. “I was living in London and working in a university,” she says. “I had studied languages in the past and thought joining the group would be a good way to improve my German, as well as learn more about the band.”

Through the forum Rhiannon, who is from Shropshire, soon met Dirk. He lived in Rödermark, near Frankfurt, and worked in logistics. “My hobby was writing about bands and taking pictures of them for different blogs and forums,” he says. “My friend had told me about this band because the singer had such a special voice. I wasn’t that into dark wave music, but this particular singer was really good.” Dirk and Rhiannon began to chat online, in German, and learned more about each other. At Christmas, Dirk gave Rhiannon a traditional festive Christstollen cake. “I’d asked her if she had ever tasted one and she said no, so I decided to send her one,” he says. “The way she wrote to me was very open and kind.”

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