My (22F) and (26M) situationship is destroying me

I was stuck in a situationship for almost a year. In the past, things were actually okay, we did decide to become exclusive for a couple months until this guy cheated on me while i was literally at home sick. I had to find this out from my own friends, and his friends were lying to me about it as well. Stupid me wanted to forgive him yet he wanted to end things after HE cheated. Apparently me being upset to him was “drama” for him.

After some time apart,We eventually started talking again and put the past in the past. We started spending time together and of course, I relapsed back into that situationship. There were times he would treat me right then stop, ghost me for days or even a week and more. I let it slide because i told myself i wasn’t ready for a relationship either, and I haven’t found anyone better yet, but now I’m starting to realize maybe I’ve been lying to myself all along.

Sometimes I wonder why I’m this affected, and why this is such a deep wound for me. I think to myself that I loved him, but I don’t think love should feel like this. I’ve always given more to him and he kept taking and taking from me. We’ve both tried seeing other people especially me, yet we keep going back to each other and it’s the same cycle all over again. I just cut him off yesterday with no explanation and blocked him everywhere, i got fed up being treated like shit and allowing myself to be. I stayed with him because it hurt me less to stay comfortable in that situation than letting go completely. Yet i keep relapsing, missing him, and second guessing my decision.

How do i stay firm and let myself move on from this? How is this situationship causing such a deep wound on me when I’ve had real relationships in the past and although they ended, it was easier to move forward with my life and be better? Badly need advice

TLDR: How do I stay firm and let myself realize how badly I was treated so I can move on from a guy who continues to destroy me?

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* This article was originally published here

How do you breakup with someone you live with?

I'm not good at break-ups because it feels terrible to hurt someone you care about. I've (M45) been living with my partner (F37) for a year & a half & it's just not working for me. We like each other, we're friends, but I'm not enjoying being in a couple. We're at that point where if she walked away, I wouldn't stop her but I don't have the guts to tell her I'd prefer to be single.

Part of the problem is that we live together so once we have The Conversation it is going to be extremely difficult for both of us being in the same space regularly. I don't really want to tell her over dinner & then have no place for either of us to go to.

Plus, since it's my own home she'd have to find a new place to live which is difficult in this city. I'm thinking I can say she can stay here as long as she needs & I can sleep on the couch but I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on how to make this easier for her?

Really struggling with the logistics of this one & want to be as kind & supportive as possible.

Thanks for having a think!

TL;DR: Any advice on breaking up with someone who you live with? When do you do it? How do you help them if they'll have to move out?

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* This article was originally published here

One Woman’s History of Unpaid Labor in Romantic Relationships - The New Yorker

One Woman’s History of Unpaid Labor in Romantic Relationships  The New Yorker

* This article was originally published here

I (20 m) asked this girl (21 f) I’ve been seeing since October to be in a relationship and she says that she want to be with me but needs time

tl;dr: Seeing this girl for 4 months, we are exclusive and hanging out often, but she says she isn’t ready because she doesn’t want old baggage to affect our relationship

I know how that sounds, and if i saw that caption I would give the advice to stay away and that she is probably not wanting a relationship (with me).

I just feel like this situation is different but I don’t know if my judgement is clouded because I really like her. We started out just hooking up, but have gotten a lot closer since then and have been hanging out multiple times a week for the last month. A lot of the posts I’ve seen about this are before ppl have become intimate/intimate regularly and this also doesn’t apply. We also have talked about being exclusive with each other a few months ago, and have valentines plans. Before this week we’d talked a bit about wanting more and seemed to both be on the same page, and this week I asked her to be with me. She said that she does want to be with me, but that she still has baggage from her last relationship (which she got out of a month prior to us meeting) and doesn’t want that to affect ours, and that she hasn’t been out of a relationship for a while and needs a little bit of time for herself. And it’s also not like she wants to see me less we’re closer than ever right now. I just feel confused because to me it seems like we are already 3/4 of the way to being a couple and feel like things will be ok but I also am keeping the possibility we don’t work out open. Right now I feel like the best thing to do is not rush things or come off needy, and bring it up again when I’m seeing signs that she could be ready. At the same time though I know I can’t just wait around forever for her. At the end of the day only I really know our relationship and her, but I would appreciate some outside perspectives.

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* This article was originally published here

How To Stop Being Jealous In Friendships And Relationships? - SheThePeople

How To Stop Being Jealous In Friendships And Relationships?  SheThePeople

* This article was originally published here

i need an advice

i need advice

Myself 22m her 24f been in relationship for 7 months

There are two cases,

1. I had a female friend from school, who happens to be a model by profession now but her profile is not a thirst trap. I never talked with her but we follow each other on insta. My gf is pissed about why i follow her and once also got angry over me cz i had liked some of her pics.

2. I had a female friend from college who might have had something for me.(although she didn't clearly express it,) My gf blocked her in WhatsApp when i told her this. although I didn't talk with this female friend for more than 2 yrs and still now we don't talk she is just a friend in my fb.

After my relationship,i had no interaction of any kind with these 2 females.

Yesterday, my gf asked me why are this females still in my fb or insta. She tells me she feels bad seeing that i follow them on social media. She feels bad that i follow them cz they post something like that sort.. Should I unfollow/ unfriend them? TL;DR gf pissed cz of me following some female friends

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* This article was originally published here

My sister(18F) acts like she hates me(M19) for dating her bestfriend(F18) but insists she’s happy for us

So i (19M) started seeing my sister’s (18) best friend (18F, let’s call her sarah) a couple months ago now. my sister was totally cool with it and even encouraged me to make the first move with sarah apon hearing that i was thinking about it. she promised me she wasn’t worried about it and she trusts both of us to treat each other right.

everything has been going amazing between sarah and i, we are taking things slow but she is over very often anyway so we see each other heaps, and love every moment of each others company

the issues started only in the past few weeks, when my sister brought up the fact that sarah spends so much time with me that she’s scared of losing her as a best friend. i felt so guilty, and i try to always put my family’s best interest first so i offered to end it then and there, but she made it clear that she doesnt want that at all, and she’s extremely happy for us, she just wanted sarah to hang out 1 on 1 with her more often. so sarah did exactly that, she goes out 1 on 1 with my sister just as much as they used to and all seemed well for a few days

but then almost out of nowhere, my sister started acting quite hostile to me, saying extremely hurtful stuff, trying to embarrass me in front of sarah every time sarah comes over, rants to sarah about me any time her and i have a classic sibling argument. even once told me sarah said she doesn’t like me anymore during a heated argument which she later took back and said she made it up to hurt my feelings because she was angry. it’s causing so much stress for me and i dont know what to do.

i spoke to my sister about it again just now and she said she still wants sarah and i to work out and i really want that too but i dont know how to do that and maintain a good relationship with my sister at the same time if it’s already hurting me this much

my feelings are definitely growing quicker than i thought and i care about sarah very much, hence why i’m asking for advice here.

TL/DR: Sister acts hostile and uses the situationship between me and her bestfriend to hurt me as well as acting upset by it despite insisting she’s happy for us and it’s growing harder to deal with

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* This article was originally published here