I (24M, gay) am a little confused and scared by how I feel about my best friend (23M, gay)

Known each other for 3 years, when we first met I thought I liked him romantically but I think that boiled down to general loneliness I had around that time.

Since then, we’ve grown to be best friends. We tell each other we’re each other’s best friends, we say I love you, we talk almost all the time.

But lately small things have been confusing and scaring me. He went on a couple of dates with someone and when he told me they slept together, that made me so nauseous and feeling like I’d throw up.

I’ve been noticing his features more, his green eyes, the little lines around his mouth when he’s smiling, the color of his lips. When we watch a movie I wish he’d get closer to me. Every time we’re out drinking I’m hoping he’d kiss me.

We spend a lot of time together (2 days a week maybe, texting for hours a day other days), and on the days one of us is busy I find myself just waiting for being able to talk to him again. Every day I’m just waiting for the next time I see him, waiting to tell him about my day and hear about his.

Physically, he’s not really my type, and I’m not his. But still, I can picture myself being physical with him. We aren’t really physical as friends, don’t hug often, but I’ve been having an urge to grab and hold his hand for months now.

It’s all confusing. Are these not normal feelings to have for a friend? Maybe I’m just a little possessive of him? I haven’t dated anyone in years, maybe it’s just missing those feelings?

If they’re not platonic, I’m confident he wouldn’t feel the same way about me, and it would then destroy both of us if I speak up about them, the friendship is really important to us. But even though I know he loves me as a friend and we’re closer to each other than anyone else, I can’t help but feel the dissatisfied, hoping for more.

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TL;DR; : Afraid I'd be in love with best friend. He wouldn't feel the same and I'm dissatisfied.

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Here's why you struggle with relationships after being single - Cosmopolitan UK

Here's why you struggle with relationships after being single  Cosmopolitan UK

* This article was originally published here

I (21F) am planning to move out with my bf (22M) but I am concerned with my parents’ reaction

I am graduating this year. I have found an okay paying job and am very excited. My bf and I have been dating for about one and half year now and for the past six months, I’m almost exclusively staying at his place since my flatmate and I don’t get along too well and his place is at a nicer part of the city. My parents are literally paying rent for no reason but they don’t know since I know they might be uncomfortable with my arrangement since we don’t have an official label like engagement in our relationship.

My parents funded all my education and costs and are very loving, very reasonable folks. They live in my country of origin while I live abroad since I started uni. However, I think due to her experience with my father, my mum is very skeptical about my bf and how our relationship dynamics are. She repeated, multiple times, that I am not allowed to move out with my boyfriend because it will allow him to start treating me badly because there would be commitment that binds me. When I said my salary wouldn’t be enough to live comfortably if I rent a studio myself and she offered to give me 6k grant a year to support me in that case.

However, I know that if we have separate houses I’d still stay at my bf’s place next year since he is making more and can afford a better place. It’s going to be a problem, though, because my office is a bit far from the city centre and if we don’t have a reasonable location together, I’ll have a longer commute.

My bf agreed to cover 70% of all expenses of the new place if we move in together (proportionate to how much I will make and his current salary). I am obviously nervous for a case where we might break up and this setup will collapse. However, I am more nervous of my mum’s reaction to this decision. I will have my own money and they cannot deprive me of anything if I do something they don’t like. However I am scared of upsetting her and being on bad terms. She might decide not to assist me financially if I move in with my bf but I will be better of financially if I move in with my bf and will be able to save money too, which is very important to me. However, I don’t want to cut my parents off because they are very important to me and honestly, I want to have multiple support systems in my life.

I know she would be more comfy if we were engaged or something because to her, being bf gf means nothing in terms of commitments. However I think it’s too early for a such thing, so does my boyfriend.

I read that couples who move in together for mainly economic concerns regret it nowadays but I also don’t want to be away from my partner.

My question is, should I try moving in with my bf despite my parents’ reaction? Is it too early for a such commitment? How I should approach to this?

Tl;dr: I want to move in with my bf but my mother opposes it. What I should do?

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Birth control pill ruined our relationships

We [I am M25, F22] had very nice and good relationships with my girlfriend (5 months). She started using birth control pills a month ago and her mood, libido and mental health got really bad.

Let me give you a brief description.

She always wanted sex (she has very high libido as well as me) and we were extremely satisfied with our sex life, we've been romantic (both, but she is more than me), everything was really unexpectedly good. Travelled to 3 new countries together. She has a full-time job + uni + other things, so she is busy most of the time as well as me. But it was kind a big plus and it was a good aspect for both. We spent a lot of time together and were ALWAYS saying if something is wrong and that is why we never ever had any conflict. Talks were more about feelings and that we are so happy and about how it is kind of strange that everything goes so good. Another thing to know, she is quite emotional and can start crying if the art she sees in gallery is sad. But it never was a problem for us. More like a plus again. She was not angry on me (al least seriously).

​

Birth control pills. Here it starts.

​

She started using it a month ago and her mood started to be extremely unstable (laughing, 5 min, crying, for no reason, first week of using BC). I started feeling like something was wrong with her. She became very silent. She was saying that she has a lot of depressed thoughts. But like I will manage myself, no need to help with. After our last trip, she asked me not to communicate with her for 5 days, she wanted to get in a normal state and decide what she wants to do, to give her space etc. She was really very strange in behaviour. And I started feeling like i am loosing her but she was saying "we will not break up". She convinced me that we would be together for sure and it is only her mental problems. It was only about her problems. At the end of our "silent", we agreed to talk about everything and met yesterday. We broke up yesterday. She said that she still loves me, but she does not feel romantic feelings from herself, she is unable to give them to me. She has low libido. That I did not support her enough recently (but she was saying that everything is ok, like no problem..). Like we are too different people. That I need more simple and stable gf. Moreover, she feels that the status of having relationships depresses her. She stated that maaay be she will have willing to get back together, but as she said: I want to break up with an open data, like no predefined day to try to get back together. She is not cheating on me. We still chat a little bit. She will switch birth control pills or quit it at all.

What can i do? How to deal with it? How to get her back? It all started right after the first signs of using BC pills.

I have a strange feeling of chatting with her. Forcing myself not to pressure her and behave like a friend but I feel like she is my ex, or gf, or whatever, like... It is weird. Send memes? Not to chat is worse idea to my opinion, but... How to do it properly?

​

TL;DR: right after she started using BC pills, she became emotionally unstable, then very silent, lost her high libido (this is first month of using pills). During last talk she said she is unable to give me romantic feelings from herself, she just doesn't have romantic feelings. She stated I need more simple and stable gf. She broke up with me but before convinced that it won't happen because of her mental health. Says that status of relationship depresses her now. Help.

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I've been in an open relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years - Insider

I've been in an open relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years  Insider

* This article was originally published here

Just a vent about jealousy

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I recently started playing a game with his friend and his girlfriend and it feels like my boyfriend is prioritizing her fun over mine.

Hi all, this post is mostly just me venting into the void that is reddit. I know that the feelings I’m having are irrational and I don’t have anyone to talk them over with. I don’t feel it’d be appropriate to talk them over with my boyfriend because in reality, he didn’t do anything wrong. No one did. My brain is just screaming at me to over analyze and to be angry.

For context my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and we’ve been living together for about a year, about to move into another apartment together. I’ve always had jealousy issues, it’s something I’m deeply ashamed of but that I cannot seem to get rid of. I will just ruminate and ruminate until I blow up over something incredibly minor. And I know, that is in no way healthy for either of us.

My boyfriend ( George ) and I recently started playing a game together with my boyfriend’s friend ( Sage ) and his girlfriend ( Lola ). My boyfriend and I have been playing this game for a while before Sage and Lola joined our group, we’re honestly kind of both sweats when playing but we made it into a routine where we’d both play together every night and it’s been a lot of fun.

Just a few days ago Sage asked to join our team and Lola tagged along. Of course we said yes because we’ve been wanting to have a four man team for a while and it’d be lots of fun. Well since they started playing with us, I honestly haven’t had any fun. This is because my boyfriend has been fixating on making sure Lola is having fun. We’ve played close to 20 games together and I survived maybe 2 of them. I was constantly dying at the beginning of the game, and it became pretty clear that it was due to Lola’s mistakes.

For more context, the game is called Dead by Daylight and consists of 4 survivors having to escape a killer. Lola was constantly alerting the killer to her location when I was near, saying that she was in chase with the killer when I was, and bringing the killer to me when I was hidden. But while I’m dead or dying on the hook, my boyfriends constantly telling Lola where the killer is so she isn’t found, healing her immediately, taking hits and chases over for her and just overall making sure that Lola always survived. Overall he was choosing to help Lola, even in situations when she didn’t need any help, over me.

This combined with the fact that he wasn’t talking to me and when I would talk, he wasn’t listening. Like straight up, was not listening to anything I said. I know he wasn’t because I called out multiple things I noticed about a particular killer ( perks, add-ons ) and then when we got to the end game chat ( where it shows you all of the killers perks and add-ons ) he started listing them and started talking about how he didn’t know he had any of those perks or add-ons and how it would have been useful to know.

She also was dying laughing at everything my boyfriend would say. I swear to god my boyfriend said “Beep beep boop” and this girl was lmaoing in real life. It got to the point where Sage even made a joke that my boyfriend was trying to steal his girl. And my boyfriend didn’t deny it, he just said something along the lines of “you should try to be funnier sometime.”

So something that used to be my bonding time with my boyfriend is now something I barley get to enjoy. Aside from the jealousy, it’s not fun to play a game where I’m always dead at the start. Anyways, I know none of this really matters but I just needed to talk it out. If you read all of this thank you, it means a lot just to be listened to for a minute.

Names have been changed to protect privacy.

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My(20M) parents make me feel so useless, branding me as "lazy" and "never helping without being asked", they threaten to kick me out if I don't put in the same work as them, I feel so angry and lost.

​

I 18 (M) have been living at home as of October 2022 and was expecting to attend uni at the start of march of 2023, up until that point my parents were cordial with me, but do to my residency status causing me to halt my attendance, at the same time I attended a 2 week to attain a security license, but since march I have not been able to land a job since, I believe it was around the time where I finished my security license is when their snide comments and nagging began.

idk how to get it through to them that these comments are incredibly damaging to me, its like for 18 years I did not even know these people, for example when I say that I still have ADHD they just say "oh you've gotten over that", like they were not there when my behavioral specialist did not tell them that I my focus and attention will not be the same as if i had Adderall, which I had to give due to financial reasons. following this they say that i always say that i say I'm tired as an excuse to dodge work.

but i don't think I'm lazy like they say, ever since immigrating i had to do my own immigration paper work at the age 15 (bcs she said that i can read and write so i should be able to do it) and worked in their corner shop/bodega ever since the age of 8 (I was that stereotypical Asian kid studying in the corner) where at that point we've just been in the country for 2 years and she did not speak a lick of English , and my father was working from 2 am to 4pm, and for what time he was there mom did not trust him with the til as he would charge 50 cent for a something that costed 50 dollars, as he would be more involved with conversing with the customer then making the sale, this made me the sole cashier, order taker for when catering order came in and the milk boy, having to wake up at 6:30am to balance 5 2L milk bottle on a razor scooter as i barreled down a hill and made my way back up. during this time my only free time was school from 9am to 3pm. after 4 years of this my mother said that the work was too tiring at the time i stupidly begged her for us to stay because i began to actually make close friends by grade 10 which up until that point i didn't have a life where most of the kids in my school knew me as the corner shop kid, but she would put me down saying that i never helped her enough.

the boiling point which drove me to make this post began last Friday (6 days prior to this post) where we began work on our backyard work the house which includes shoveling hardened clay from a prior dig site that they buried asbestos panels under and wheel barrowing that to pack the retainer wall with the wheel barrow being about 200L , as they didn't want to spend money to buy dirt, i did not mind this work for first 6 days, and did my work diligently from 8.30am to 4pm(this would later be a point of contention), when i was working they did not say much to me but would always make comments to "pick up the pace" when i was eating or having a break. come today i was going to start work earlier at 10am she agreed for me to start then i missed this time and start at 11 and began digging at which point i sat down and stopped as i was light headed and could not continue so i head inside, and an say to her that ill dig for her tomorrow at which point she blew up at me saying that "if i don't work nothing gets done" and "you're always tired", where in a mix of lightheadedness and built up resentment i blew up at her initiating a 2hr screaming match between me and her where i told her i did nothing over the long weekend and that i have not been lazy and have been forgoing party with friends, to which she responds (idk how to translate this ) "are you daring me? if you go , go for a month", "if you are not sick then you can work", "im a woman and your 18 Man you should be able to do 3x my work" and "if you don't work tomorrow, don't eat", idk what her problem are i think she have bi-polar disorder but she refuse therapy for it as she site it costing too much and and mental illness not being real.

idk what to do i really have no option to move out, plus when i get back to school my degree will take 3 years and i might have to repeat a year if i fail the medical test, idk what she is doing but she said she wont pay the mortgage anymore in 5 years and give 50% of the asset to me (the other half belonging to my step-father) as well as the debt in a trust, but i don't trust (sorry for the pun) her word, as this has not been spoken to my stepfather yet. and he does not have a trustworthy record with money as he withdrew around 100k from his 401k/ superannuation and a personal loan at the same time which he claimed to gambled away but i believe that he actually gave it to his 3 kids from his past marriage, at the end of the financial year that year he was taxed and asked to return the principal which amounted to 180k making us sell our apartment in my home country.

sorry if this had been posted before but i need a place to vent, some opinions from the internet would be greatly appreciated

tl;dr parents expectation of being not lazy is matching their work hour for hour, i want to move out but rent, school and work do not align.

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