My(24M) GF’s (22F) younger brother calls her a Wh*re in front of her family.

So I have been with this really nice girl for about 7 months now. Let’s call her Blue.

Now Blue lives with her family. She has two brothers and parents. Her older brother(in his late 20’s) moved out very long ago. He’s married too. Let’s call him X. Her younger brother(16) lives with the family too. Let’s call him Y. Blue works in a cafe. The main reason that Blue still lives with her family is because Blue is not very financially independent. She’s doesn’t earns a lot and slightly depends on her family.

Now I knew about Blue’s family behaviour towards her. I knew they were really mean to her, they treat her so bad. And they really want her to move out of their house. Now I was in her place last week just went to pick her up and I ended up going to her house. Now Y just shouted at her for a small mistake she did and called her a dumb wh*re in front of her parents. Her mom just laughed and agreed with him.

This isn’t the only insult she gets. They call her really bad names and humiliate her so much. We talked about it earlier many times.

Now about me, I’m in my final year of college and I already got an internship at a very good tech company and the probability is very high that they would hire me permanently. So right now I’m getting paid well enough that I can get a place for us. It would be not that big but still she can move in with me.

I told her this news last week. She’s was really happy and excited about it. I mean she was literally jumping around. But idk what happened, just yesterday she called me and told that she can’t move in with me. Now I know how much she wants to move out from that house and suddenly out of nowhere she’s doesn’t want to.

I, of course asked her why but she is just ignoring my question. Now she’s a very nice and caring girl. She’s works very hard at her job and sacrifice many things for others. Now I’m thinking her parents must have said something to her about moving with me.

Now X is different than the family. He’s a nice guy and probably the only one in her family who actually cares about Blue. So I’m thinking of telling X what I just told you all and listen to him. I’m really positive he would be on my side. And if he agrees than it would be easy to convince Blue.

Now I don’t know how to feel about it. For some reason, I’m feeling a lot of guilt. I mean all she wanted earlier was to live together with me and now she don’t. About our relationship, it’s going very fine. I met her at the same cafe where she’s works. So I don’t think, she’s not moving with me because of our relationship.

(Apologies if there’s any mistake in my English. Not my first language)

TL;DR : My GF’s younger brother called her a wh*re infront of her parents and her mom just laugh about it. They call her many names and humiliate her. They want her to move out of their house. My GF is not financially independent, so she can’t move out. I got a good job offer coming who pays me well enough to buy us a place. She was excited at first but she declined later. I’m thinking it’s because of her family. What to do now?

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My (23F) boyfriend (23M) is putting his friends before me?

My (23F) boyfriend (23M) is putting his friends before me? Now, this might just be me exaggerating or something, but here’s the story, apologies for the bad formatting as this is being typed on my phone.

Today, my boyfriend tells me he has plans to go out with his friends on the weekend and that it’s for a friends birthday, he lets me know he will be drinking. This would be okay, if not for the other day him telling me he was not feeling well, as in coughing, nauseous, fatigued, not eating. He said he was feeling worse today, so I was a little suspicious as to why he wouldn’t stay in and rest?

Here’s why I was really ticked off: We don’t live very far, about a 2 hour drive as he is living near his college right now. The problem is he hasn’t been coming around, and I don’t mean as often, I mean at all. He doesn’t even call with me on the phone anymore, at all. We used to do this daily, however he blames this inconvenience on not wanting to “bother me if I’m busy”. I’ve told him nothing has changed and my schedule is still the same as it has always been, and this has been going on for about a month and a half.

Anyway, so on top of him already not feeling well, he hasn’t made time to even hear each others voices, but he’s willing to go out with his very, very, POS friends. Now we did have a conversation about this, or tried to but he kind of just kept missing the point, so I suggested we come back to it a little later, which I still plan to, I’m just not sure what I should say or if I should say anything at all.

tl;dr my boyfriend stopping calling or coming over, claiming it to be because we were so busy, even though his final exams are over and my schedule is the same as ever. He then tell me he’s so sick he can barely move, but he’s planning to go out and drink with his friends on the weekend. Now I’m not sure if he’s putting his friends above simply giving me a call every once in a while, or even staying in to get rest because he claims he is not feeling well, or if I am just being dramatic.

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I (24M, gay) am a little confused and scared by how I feel about my best friend (23M, gay)

Known each other for 3 years, when we first met I thought I liked him romantically but I think that boiled down to general loneliness I had around that time.

Since then, we’ve grown to be best friends. We tell each other we’re each other’s best friends, we say I love you, we talk almost all the time.

But lately small things have been confusing and scaring me. He went on a couple of dates with someone and when he told me they slept together, that made me so nauseous and feeling like I’d throw up.

I’ve been noticing his features more, his green eyes, the little lines around his mouth when he’s smiling, the color of his lips. When we watch a movie I wish he’d get closer to me. Every time we’re out drinking I’m hoping he’d kiss me.

We spend a lot of time together (2 days a week maybe, texting for hours a day other days), and on the days one of us is busy I find myself just waiting for being able to talk to him again. Every day I’m just waiting for the next time I see him, waiting to tell him about my day and hear about his.

Physically, he’s not really my type, and I’m not his. But still, I can picture myself being physical with him. We aren’t really physical as friends, don’t hug often, but I’ve been having an urge to grab and hold his hand for months now.

It’s all confusing. Are these not normal feelings to have for a friend? Maybe I’m just a little possessive of him? I haven’t dated anyone in years, maybe it’s just missing those feelings?

If they’re not platonic, I’m confident he wouldn’t feel the same way about me, and it would then destroy both of us if I speak up about them, the friendship is really important to us. But even though I know he loves me as a friend and we’re closer to each other than anyone else, I can’t help but feel the dissatisfied, hoping for more.

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TL;DR; : Afraid I'd be in love with best friend. He wouldn't feel the same and I'm dissatisfied.

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* This article was originally published here

Here's why you struggle with relationships after being single - Cosmopolitan UK

Here's why you struggle with relationships after being single  Cosmopolitan UK

* This article was originally published here

I (21F) am planning to move out with my bf (22M) but I am concerned with my parents’ reaction

I am graduating this year. I have found an okay paying job and am very excited. My bf and I have been dating for about one and half year now and for the past six months, I’m almost exclusively staying at his place since my flatmate and I don’t get along too well and his place is at a nicer part of the city. My parents are literally paying rent for no reason but they don’t know since I know they might be uncomfortable with my arrangement since we don’t have an official label like engagement in our relationship.

My parents funded all my education and costs and are very loving, very reasonable folks. They live in my country of origin while I live abroad since I started uni. However, I think due to her experience with my father, my mum is very skeptical about my bf and how our relationship dynamics are. She repeated, multiple times, that I am not allowed to move out with my boyfriend because it will allow him to start treating me badly because there would be commitment that binds me. When I said my salary wouldn’t be enough to live comfortably if I rent a studio myself and she offered to give me 6k grant a year to support me in that case.

However, I know that if we have separate houses I’d still stay at my bf’s place next year since he is making more and can afford a better place. It’s going to be a problem, though, because my office is a bit far from the city centre and if we don’t have a reasonable location together, I’ll have a longer commute.

My bf agreed to cover 70% of all expenses of the new place if we move in together (proportionate to how much I will make and his current salary). I am obviously nervous for a case where we might break up and this setup will collapse. However, I am more nervous of my mum’s reaction to this decision. I will have my own money and they cannot deprive me of anything if I do something they don’t like. However I am scared of upsetting her and being on bad terms. She might decide not to assist me financially if I move in with my bf but I will be better of financially if I move in with my bf and will be able to save money too, which is very important to me. However, I don’t want to cut my parents off because they are very important to me and honestly, I want to have multiple support systems in my life.

I know she would be more comfy if we were engaged or something because to her, being bf gf means nothing in terms of commitments. However I think it’s too early for a such thing, so does my boyfriend.

I read that couples who move in together for mainly economic concerns regret it nowadays but I also don’t want to be away from my partner.

My question is, should I try moving in with my bf despite my parents’ reaction? Is it too early for a such commitment? How I should approach to this?

Tl;dr: I want to move in with my bf but my mother opposes it. What I should do?

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Birth control pill ruined our relationships

We [I am M25, F22] had very nice and good relationships with my girlfriend (5 months). She started using birth control pills a month ago and her mood, libido and mental health got really bad.

Let me give you a brief description.

She always wanted sex (she has very high libido as well as me) and we were extremely satisfied with our sex life, we've been romantic (both, but she is more than me), everything was really unexpectedly good. Travelled to 3 new countries together. She has a full-time job + uni + other things, so she is busy most of the time as well as me. But it was kind a big plus and it was a good aspect for both. We spent a lot of time together and were ALWAYS saying if something is wrong and that is why we never ever had any conflict. Talks were more about feelings and that we are so happy and about how it is kind of strange that everything goes so good. Another thing to know, she is quite emotional and can start crying if the art she sees in gallery is sad. But it never was a problem for us. More like a plus again. She was not angry on me (al least seriously).

​

Birth control pills. Here it starts.

​

She started using it a month ago and her mood started to be extremely unstable (laughing, 5 min, crying, for no reason, first week of using BC). I started feeling like something was wrong with her. She became very silent. She was saying that she has a lot of depressed thoughts. But like I will manage myself, no need to help with. After our last trip, she asked me not to communicate with her for 5 days, she wanted to get in a normal state and decide what she wants to do, to give her space etc. She was really very strange in behaviour. And I started feeling like i am loosing her but she was saying "we will not break up". She convinced me that we would be together for sure and it is only her mental problems. It was only about her problems. At the end of our "silent", we agreed to talk about everything and met yesterday. We broke up yesterday. She said that she still loves me, but she does not feel romantic feelings from herself, she is unable to give them to me. She has low libido. That I did not support her enough recently (but she was saying that everything is ok, like no problem..). Like we are too different people. That I need more simple and stable gf. Moreover, she feels that the status of having relationships depresses her. She stated that maaay be she will have willing to get back together, but as she said: I want to break up with an open data, like no predefined day to try to get back together. She is not cheating on me. We still chat a little bit. She will switch birth control pills or quit it at all.

What can i do? How to deal with it? How to get her back? It all started right after the first signs of using BC pills.

I have a strange feeling of chatting with her. Forcing myself not to pressure her and behave like a friend but I feel like she is my ex, or gf, or whatever, like... It is weird. Send memes? Not to chat is worse idea to my opinion, but... How to do it properly?

​

TL;DR: right after she started using BC pills, she became emotionally unstable, then very silent, lost her high libido (this is first month of using pills). During last talk she said she is unable to give me romantic feelings from herself, she just doesn't have romantic feelings. She stated I need more simple and stable gf. She broke up with me but before convinced that it won't happen because of her mental health. Says that status of relationship depresses her now. Help.

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I've been in an open relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years - Insider

I've been in an open relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years  Insider

* This article was originally published here