Need an outside perspective on my (26f) relationship with my Mother (54 f)

English is not my first language and I'm in a bad place mentally so please excuse any spelling/grammatical errors.

My parents keep asking me to intervene in their fights. We live in a conservative society and they cannot separate without jeopardising my marriage prospects. They're fighting now because my dad sold our house years ago and still hasn't invested any of the money. My mom is desperate to invest at least in a house so that they're not left with nothing when the money runs out. My dad wants to invest the money but he's very anxious about spending and it prevents him from doing anything. He also won't agree to anything my mother finds for him. My father is also very stubborn and won't accept anyone's ideas/opinions. He's also emotionally/financially abusive to her.

I lost my job after COVID and am now home studying for a licensing exam to further my career. I have already failed this exam once, leading me to feel like a disappointment. I have tried applying for jobs but I'm either over or under qualified for most of these jobs. The exam is in November and no one wants to take me on at this stage. I also have OCD and have lost access to therapy/medications as we live in a remote area, and I would feel guilty about asking my parents for therapy money. I also have no friends I can move in with and my relatives live far away.

My mother is making staying at home difficult for me because she's getting increasingly frustrated with my father. Every time they fight, she comes to me and asks me to intervene/confront him. This never goes well, as my father then gets incredibly defensive and angry. He'll threaten to off himself, ignore my calls or stop taking his medication, which'll send me into a day long panic attack. I agree that the way he treats her is wrong but I don't know how to tell her that Im not in a place (mentally, financially) to call him out on it. I also don't want my relationship with him to worsen as he's already disappointed with me about the whole joblessness thing.

My mother is relentless in asking me to intervene, she brings it up in every conversation. Every other conversation is about how much my father ruined their life, or how Im bad at things. She's not a bad mom and has been very supporting in the past. Even now if she's not fighting with dad, or worried about the future of our family, she'll be sweet to me.

This is making my anxiety much worse and sometimes I think I should just suck it up and start the conflict with my father, so that she would be satisfied, even if it means my peace is gone. I already feel like a disappointment because of failing this exam, so I feel if I can help her in this way it would be worthwhile?

I'm also worried that my dad might kick me out if I challenge him. I guess I'm just looking for guidance and some perspective out of this hole.

TL:DR: Should I, as a mentally ill jobless freeloader, at least contribute to my household by standing up for my mom?

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This guy(m20) said he’s going to pursue my(m20) girlfriend(f19)

I’ve been with my girlfriend since September, we met at our college. My girlfriend is a very pretty girl and just amazing over all. She has lots of friends and lots of people want to be her friend bc she’s just cool and real and fun. This includes guys. She had a very small fling with this guy Carson last year. I didn’t go to this school last year so I don’t really know the details and seriousness to it, but according to her friends there were no feelings involved. At parties they would say hi, maybe catch up, they have lots of mutual friends, but have never hung out. In the beginning of us dating she was seeing other guys and I think Carson may have been one of them. A few weeks ago I said some stupid shit at a party and me and my gf got in a fight and she took off. Guess who was there to save the day and drive her home, Carson.

I live on campus, my girlfriend has an apartment with her friends. I see Carson at the dining hall a lot and last week he followed me outside to talk. He then said that he’s very interested in my girlfriend and thinks he has a fair shot with her. Then said some dumb shit that he had her first and can get her again, and he will. This made me super angry but I tried to keep my composure the best I could. I immediately drove to my girl’s place and she wasn’t home but her friends were so I told them about what Carson said. They told me that I have nothing to worry about and that there’s no way he could even come close to ruining our relationship. They told me not to mention it to my gf because she’s been super stressed out lately and not doing good and it would just make her more stressed.

We went to a club the other night and Carson and his boys were there of course. Every chance he got to be near my gf or talk to her, he took. He kept flashing me some dumbass smirks. I’ve had to work nights this week and my girlfriend and her friends went to two parties. At both parties her friend texted me saying Carson was there and he was trying to make moves. I’m not worried that she would cheat on me, but she does drink excessively. She drinks like a linebacker and almost always blacks out and can’t understand anything. Me and Carson look kind of similar, the only major difference is I’m taller than him. He seems like the type of guy who would try to sleep with her when she’s that fucked up and can’t even see straight. He’s also staying here this summer and she’s staying for the first half while I’m going back to my home state 2,000 miles away. I don’t know what to do. He clearly isn’t gonna stop trying to get with her and of course he’s going the “nice guy/friend/savior” route. I guess I should just tell her what’s going on but even with her knowing I can’t trust that he’s not gonna try and take advantage of her. This guy is a serious dick and he knows he’s pissing me off and he’s not gonna stop. I seriously need advice. I love my girlfriend and I seriously see a future with us. I don’t want her to think I’m being jealous or paranoid and then it cause a rift and he’s her shoulder to cry on.

TLDR: my girlfriends old fwb is trying to break up our relationship and get with my gf

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* This article was originally published here

Now I'm Single, I Only Date Men In Open Relationships - Refinery29

Now I'm Single, I Only Date Men In Open Relationships  Refinery29

* This article was originally published here

FB relationship status after divorce…

I’m dating someone new for only two months now. (43/m and 40/f) He said he was divorced nearly 3 years ago and moved out of his marital home into a new one. They have joint custody of 2 teen boys and says they have a great co-parenting relationship.

Out of curiosity one day I looked at the “ex-wife’s” FB b/c they are still friends…her status still says “married since 2010”, she’s been recently active and all the wedding pics are still up. I mentioned that I thought the status was odd 2 weeks ago and if they were only separated. He said it was finalized, and today the status remains unchanged.

Is this a red flag?

TL/DR: New boyfriends ex wife still has her FB status set to married. Should I just ignore?

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* This article was originally published here

Fleets target new suppliers as manufacturer relationships hit new low - Autocar

Fleets target new suppliers as manufacturer relationships hit new low  Autocar

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I (24F) made a friend (19M) online, who wants to talk everyday and all day long but I can’t offer them that constant level of communication.

We have been in constant communication for about 3 and a half months now and I find that our friendship is overall wholesome and supportive and we share a lot in common. These are traits that I am not able to fully find in my other friendships.

There are however limitations to our friendship which are that, we have never met, we live in different parts of the world and we are likely never going to meet each other. I have also never seen what he looks like and nor heard what he sounds like.

While I appreciate the friendship and the emotional support it offers, I am in general not comfortable spending my whole day talking to someone. At the beginning, I did allowed myself to indulge in lengthy conversations throughout the day but it was messing up my daily routine and sleep schedule. So, over the past couple of weeks, I have reeling this back to focus on myself.

Yesterday was a Saturday and I carved out an 1 hour in the morning to talk to him while I was in a coffee shop. When I was done at the coffee shop I let him know I was heading home and he told me to text him when I got home and I did exactly that, I texted him and let him know that I was going to charge my phone. Later in the evening he texted me something along line of “have you gone MIA again?” And that kinda pissed me off because it made me feel like he expects constant communication and if I am free I should be texting him. Which is annoying because sometimes I just wanna chill on my own.

I am looking for a second opinion on this.Am I being a shitty friend in this situation? How do kindly let him know that I don’t wanna talk everyday and all day, without sounding like a b*tch?

Tl;dr: my friend wants to talk everyday and all day but I can’t offer him that. He is starting to get annoying about it.

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I (21f) think my bf (27m) lied to me

When I first met my bf, I mentioned wanting to draw him. He said, "I tried to draw myself once! Wanna see?" And showed me a painting of himself.

Several months later, when he was moving stuff around, I found that painting face down. On the back, it had a note from his ex, saying she loved him, that the painting was for him. But I couldn't remember if he had said "this is a painting of me" or "I did this painting."

Well, I just now got the answer. I was going through our old texts because I miss him, and I found him saying "I did this painting".

I'm pretty upset at the idea that he would lie to me. I understand that maybe, if your ex is still a person you care about, you'd keep a really nice present they gave you. But why would he lie and say he painted it? It gives me a bad taste in my mouth.

Tldr: bf said he painted something but I figured out it was from his ex

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* This article was originally published here