My boyfriend (25M) of 3 months never wants to see me (19F)

The beginning of the relationship was great we worked together, we see each other often, like i’d stay over and we’d go on dates i loved it. He even said or joked a few times about moving in (I know it’s quick) so i moved more clothes and bits in that i would use often. Then after some time, the job we worked at kinda screwed him over so he hasn’t been making money for 2, 3 months and has been quite down with himself and everything. So i decided to work my ass off so I can help him out and we can still enjoy things which he appreciates, but we also started arguing a lot like out of nowhere. It’s like these insecurities all just come out, it’s like everything was a problem from both sides. So he started asking me to go home more frequently and for longer, like before i’d decide to go home for a bit to see my mom so on, but then he started asking for a longer amount of time, but he’d ask like the day before i’m supposed to come back and as a person who doesn’t deal with change well it constantly caused arguments. After questioning it all he tells me he needs his alone time cause we’re limited to one room which i totally understand. But what threw me off was how he acted in the beginning he acted as if he was clingy and always wanted to be around me so on, but half the time when i’m never i never get a reply to messages because “he’s never on his phone”. He never calls because his “phone heats up”. I’ve asked him endless times to at least message when you’re walking the dog or going the gym because he’s been attacked many times and like to know he’s safe. Anyway we had this big argument that leaded to over a week of not seeing each other after telling me it would never be that long on the day i left. After that I came back for like 2 nights maybe 3 and went home, then when i was home after work one night he decided to tell me that now he might be getting somewhere with a job (He hasn’t got one still) that i only stay once a week and we go on a date and see each other another day. This threw me right off because it’s a big change from what it was. I recall him telling me that when he got back on his feet and got a job i wouldn’t have to go as much because we wouldn’t see each other much but then when he thought he had one he wanted to see me less. He gets angry and annoyed at me when i start to overthinking that he’s not interested or something but idk what else to think. I deal with overthinking badly as it is so this is really bad for it. Anytime i want to talk in person he doesn’t want to he’ll try end the conversation and do something else and if i try to talk over message he’ll assume i’m arguing and say “i’ll talk later” and doesn’t message for three hours. He also changes his mind often and acts like he never said it in the beginning, example when i was with him last i asked when i could next see him he asked when i was off I said Saturday he said probably Saturday then. I said i had work early Sunday morning and he also has an interview Sunday morning so he said that’s good because that help him get up (me getting up) so he said yeah Saturday then. So I thought oh he thought i was asking about staying over which i only meant seeing him but i was still happy with staying Saturday, but i didn’t want it to seem like i was pushing to stay again so soon (it was Tuesday). So I said i meant only seeing you and he said “definitely see me Saturday” so I was like cool and probably end up staying like he asked. Friday night comes i ask about staying he says no and then tells me he never said i could and that he said maybe. Which i hate to argue but he didn’t he was keen on me staying so I’d help him get up. Anyway today’s Saturday and we’re going to watch a movie, he doesn’t like to see me that long when we go out especially if it’s a movie he’ll see me like half an hour before it and then go straight after. I don’t know what to do, I feel like he’s losing interest in me or maybe seeing someone else? Any ideas? Any questions i’ll answer

TL;DR : My boyfriend never wants to see me anymore, I feel like he’s losing interest or seeing someone. He says he just needs to get back on his feet?

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Improving myself after a breakup. First girlfriend, first everything.[20M][20F]

Hello,

Recently my girlfriend decided to break up with me, after I had threatened with a breakup for countless times, and she said that I'm the sweetest person ever, and that if we both go to therapy and work on ourselves that she'd be willing to reconnect.

I've started journaling and I took my time and wrote all of the bad things (HABITS) I have had - this was repeated behavior, not something I had done once, and I think that I were to do that if we continued dating, thus I want to learn how to fix those things in order to continue dating, or reconnect (which I'd love, but seems very unlikely).

My main takeaways:

-Whenever I felt ignored, I'd start a fight, threaten with a breakup, or try to ruin her day - because she ruined mine

-I found out that I have anxious attachment style. I had a hard time being separated from her and I was constantly overthinking everything. Leading to me being very needy, and not giving her breathing room ; I was bothering her while she was out with her friends, family, when she was on vacation etc.

-Excessive Jealousy - Whenever she'd go out with male friends, even though they were gay, I had suspicion and I disliked them for being the opposite gender.

-Hard time trusting her ; She never did something to upset my trust, but I just had a hard time because I know she's very attractive and assume she gets hit on when she goes out.

- I was lying so I could get more attention - whenever she didn't feel like going out I'd lie about being sick or feeling unwell so she would come and caress me.

-I wanted to be visibly upset so she could give me attention whenever she did something I disliked.

-Took her for granted after some time. We dated for a little more than a year and after some time, I took her for granted. I stopped making her bouquets, stopped writing her little notes, stopped giving her my origami flowers and in general, stopped surprising her.

How do I treat all of this? I want to become a decent human being and I don't want to hurt my partners. I sincerely want to work on myself and I hope you take this with little judgement as I have a hard time admitting this.

Note: I have started going to therapy recently. I go there every two weeks as it's free and I only have sessions that last about 30 minutes. Although it helps, I'd love to speed up the process. I'd love to hear advice from you guys. Thanks in advance.

tl;dr : After over a year of dating, my girlfriend and I split. I made many mistakes, formed bad habits, and need advice on how to get rid of them. I want to become a better person.

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My (31M) GF (30F) accused me of having an emotional affair because I shared my passion for cooking with a friend (31M)'s fiancée (32F)

I (31M) have always had a passion for cooking. I enjoy cooking for other people or even just for myself. My parents used to say that me finding a new recipe to try is like a child finding a new favorite toy.

I started cooking when I was 11 and I never stopped. My parents suggested I studied to become a chef but I refused: I want to be able to cook freely ( and it was the good decision; I studied Computer Engineering and I love my current job).

5 years ago I started dating Kate (30F). I love her and we get along quite well, except when it comes to cooking. She is an extremely picky eater. She only eats a very small set of things and only when they are cooked in a certain way. She refuses to even try anything else and some of her restrictions are nonsensical (example: She eats burgers but only those bought at the supermarket. If I buy the same meat, mince it and make the burger myself, she will immediately refuses to eat it.)

I won't say it was easy but after few months of bantering we came to an agreement: I cook for myself the way I want and she cooks for herself. Sometimes I offer to cook for her what she wants, depending on the mood of the day.

After we reached this compromise, everything went smoothly for almost 4 years.

I have a friend, Mike. We have known each other for over 25 years. He loves tasting new foods and so in the past 20 years he was my "guinea pig" when I had to try a new recipe ( he volunteers himself, I never force him). Around 1 year ago he introduced me his fiancée, Megan (32F).

Megan share the same love for cooking so, while hanging out all together, we sometimes found ourselves talking about it and sharing recipes.

I don't remember exactly how it came to that but one day Mike suggested a cooking competition between us and we agreed. It was a fun Sunday: I enjoyed cooking, Megan enjoyed cooking and Mike enjoyed the food. We decided to repeat the experience from time to time.

We started doing this "cooking night" twice a month. I invited Kate multiple times to join us but she always refused. Two days ago she changed her mind and decided to come hangout at Mike's house while we were having our contest. Everything went as always. I knew Kate wouldn't eat what we were cooking, so I prepared another dish for her.

While driving home, though, Kate was evidently irritated and she suddenly started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she accused me of having an emotional affair with Megan. I said she was wrong and tried to say something but we were already in front of our home and she stormed off and locked herself in the bedroom. She refused to talk to me for the whole day yesterday.

TL;DR : My GF accused me of having an emotional affair because I shared my passion for cooking with a friend's GF.

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Girlfriend (24f) expects me (27m) to pay towards a car that I won't be able to drive?

I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years and we live together in the UK and neither of us have a car. I work from home and my gf has been fine with public transport to get to work. She is starting a new job next month and was talking about getting a car to make it easier to get to work. My gf is planning to pay monthly for the car since she can't afford to pay for one upfront.

We agreed that I would go on the insurance policy with her so I can also drive the car when needed and that I would pay the extra insurance cost that comes from having me on the policy. We worked out this would be between £50-£100 a month depending on provider. My gf sat sown to talk with me last night and said she wants her first can to be just her own so she doesn't want me on her insurance policy.

She said she would still like me to pay towards the car since she won't be able to afford it otherwise. She asked if I would pay between £100-£150 a month towards the car since the costs are higher than she thought. I refused since I'm not going to pay towards a car I cannot drive, especially since I have no need for a car. She asked again and said it should be fine for me since my employer gave all staff a £120 a month pay rise so it's affordable for me.

I refused again and told her if she wants her first car to be completely her own then she should pay for it herself then. She said the car would make it much easier for her to get to her new job instead of relying on public transport but I just told her again I'm not paying towards it.

She said I was being unfair since I can afford it and that she's not asking for a lot and that I should want to help her. Does anyone have any advice on how they would handle this?

​

tl;dr my gf is wanting a car to get to work. Initially we were going to put me on the insurance policy and I was going to pay the extra costs of the policy but my gf said she no longer wants me on the policy since she wants the car to be just hers. She still wants me to pay towards it and got annoyed when I refused. Does anyone have any advice on how they would handle this?

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I (22 F) broke up with my boyfriend (28 M) who made jokes about inflicting domestic/physical abuse and beating me up

Hello,

I am new to posting on reddit and I just installed the app also. I just wanted to let this whole situation off my chest. I kept crying the entire time last night and I have no one else to talk to, the situation feels very fresh for me and I don't know what is the next step to take. I wanted to go visit a guidance counselor in my school to have someone to talk to, and also maybe tell my family members, but I don't have the courage yet. So anyway, here is my story:

I(22 F) met someone on a dating app through switching my location. I'm living somewhere in the Asia and my boyfriend (28 M) is living somewhere in Europe. We've never met yet, LDR, though we have been dating online for almost a year now. (Turning 1 year next month). My dating experience has been very difficult to navigate due to our cultural differences. We're planning to meet on October but we've been breaking up then getting back together then breaking up again then getting back together. That's the cycle of our relationship.

We recently got back together after I gave him a second chance. We had this major argument and I didn't know he reactivated his account on the dating apps behind my back. When I found out about it, my friends told me this is cheating already but he kept convincing me that he only opened it and did nothing on it. So we talked and I forgave him thinking our relationship might be different the second time around.

So things are going well between the two of us, but for the past few days, I noticed he kept on making jokes about physical abuse/domestic abuse/ everything on that spectrum.

He told me,but in a joking way, when we're having a video call that

"I'll domestic abuse you" "I'll beat you up so bad" "Ill only stop making jokes about physical abuse when it stops being funny"

Things like that. I know it's a joke and I'm trying my best to not make it a big deal, but physical abuse/domestic abuse shouldn't be used as a joke. It's immature and dark. It shouldn't be normalized either. I don't know why but I'm super disgusted of his behavior. Everything was going on so well between us but it didn't really last long when he started making those kinds of jokes to me I just kinda lost my interest/will to continue the relationship also.

My bf was never the type to do that. This is the first time he did it to me. I tried calling him and asking him to apologize to me and not make those kinds of jokes again,I bombarded him with text and calls because he never responds/tells me he's busy and when he finally answered he yelled at me for being so crazy psycho gf and dramatic over that thing. He shut me down completely, avoided all my texts and calls, and told me I should feel bad for what I did.

The last thing he told me was " I don't wanna deal with you rn, ring one more time and I'll block you. I don't fucking care I can do whatever I want"

He didn't talk to me and kept ignoring me. So I broke it off because I felt like I was being punished for expressing how I feel. I didn't receive any kind of reassurance or a simple sorry if the joke had an impact on me. It was a joke I know but idk it made me very uncomfortable and terrified. I broke it off but idk if I did the right thing. I still love him very much.

Am I being too sensitive if the joke made me uncomfortable and literally what I did was ask him to say sorry to me but he got angry?

TL;DR

I broke up with my boyfriend because he has been making jokes about domestic/ abuse and beating me up and everything under that spectrum. I got uncomfortable and terrified but he got angry and annoyed when I tried to confront him about it by calling and texting him multiple times and all he did was ignore/shut me down telling me I'm crazy and psychotic.

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Global research compares regional relationships with Big Pharma - Medical Xpress

Global research compares regional relationships with Big Pharma  Medical Xpress

* This article was originally published here

Advice for break up

Hello! Hope you are doing fine!

I had a terrible break almost 3 months ago. Meaning my girlfriend was physically violent to me. So I had to end the relationship.

At first, she had a good behavior towards me. After 3 months the behavior changed a bit. I told her that I want an exclusive relationship with her and she told me that she wanted an open relationship. Well, this kind of... "relationship" lasted 4,5 years. We lived for 10 months at the same place (different houses) and the rest from distance. During this period, she broke up with me via a phone call telling me that: I don't want to talk to you anymore. Then after 6 months she texted me asking how am I doing. Long story short we got "back together". Oh, btw, she was telling me that I am a liar, I am fearful, I am a chameleon, I do not have my own opinion, I don't have dynamism. Despite all these, she said that she stayed with me because I have other good features of character. She was often angry and I was feeling like I was walking next to eggshells, afraid of breaking them. She told me that she could love me, but not fall in love with me and even that we do not match romantically. She told me I am a narcissist.

Last time we met she told me that she wanted to be with me but I am not acting right towards her. We had a terrible fight because she thought to I was seeing other girls (I did not). She left from my home, and I went to find her. I was trying to tell her to come home to sleep, because it was cold and rainy outside. She refused and then I left after 20 minutes. Then she phone called me and said that she'd tell everyone that I abandoned her. I went back and picked her with my car. Then, in my home as I was trying to sleep she was turning the lights on and off and when I told her I will lock my bedroom door, she hit me. She told me that I should be embarrassed that a woman hit me. After she hit me with her fist, she turned around the script saying that she'd call the police and tell I hit her. Afterwards she said: Did I hurt you? Because, I do not want to feel guilty. She did not even apologize after the event. She did not regret it (she told me)

After all these she told me that she want no contact and that shed would delete me from all social media. But she didn't. Also, she phone called me once and texted me twice to see how am I doing.

Fact is, I still care about her. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks

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**TL;DR;**: Terrible break up with my ex. How should I move?

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