Hello,
I am new to posting on reddit and I just installed the app also. I just wanted to let this whole situation off my chest. I kept crying the entire time last night and I have no one else to talk to, the situation feels very fresh for me and I don't know what is the next step to take. I wanted to go visit a guidance counselor in my school to have someone to talk to, and also maybe tell my family members, but I don't have the courage yet. So anyway, here is my story:
I(22 F) met someone on a dating app through switching my location. I'm living somewhere in the Asia and my boyfriend (28 M) is living somewhere in Europe. We've never met yet, LDR, though we have been dating online for almost a year now. (Turning 1 year next month). My dating experience has been very difficult to navigate due to our cultural differences. We're planning to meet on October but we've been breaking up then getting back together then breaking up again then getting back together. That's the cycle of our relationship.
We recently got back together after I gave him a second chance. We had this major argument and I didn't know he reactivated his account on the dating apps behind my back. When I found out about it, my friends told me this is cheating already but he kept convincing me that he only opened it and did nothing on it. So we talked and I forgave him thinking our relationship might be different the second time around.
So things are going well between the two of us, but for the past few days, I noticed he kept on making jokes about physical abuse/domestic abuse/ everything on that spectrum.
He told me,but in a joking way, when we're having a video call that
"I'll domestic abuse you" "I'll beat you up so bad" "Ill only stop making jokes about physical abuse when it stops being funny"
Things like that. I know it's a joke and I'm trying my best to not make it a big deal, but physical abuse/domestic abuse shouldn't be used as a joke. It's immature and dark. It shouldn't be normalized either. I don't know why but I'm super disgusted of his behavior. Everything was going on so well between us but it didn't really last long when he started making those kinds of jokes to me I just kinda lost my interest/will to continue the relationship also.
My bf was never the type to do that. This is the first time he did it to me. I tried calling him and asking him to apologize to me and not make those kinds of jokes again,I bombarded him with text and calls because he never responds/tells me he's busy and when he finally answered he yelled at me for being so crazy psycho gf and dramatic over that thing. He shut me down completely, avoided all my texts and calls, and told me I should feel bad for what I did.
The last thing he told me was " I don't wanna deal with you rn, ring one more time and I'll block you. I don't fucking care I can do whatever I want"
He didn't talk to me and kept ignoring me. So I broke it off because I felt like I was being punished for expressing how I feel. I didn't receive any kind of reassurance or a simple sorry if the joke had an impact on me. It was a joke I know but idk it made me very uncomfortable and terrified. I broke it off but idk if I did the right thing. I still love him very much.
Am I being too sensitive if the joke made me uncomfortable and literally what I did was ask him to say sorry to me but he got angry?
TL;DR
I broke up with my boyfriend because he has been making jokes about domestic/ abuse and beating me up and everything under that spectrum. I got uncomfortable and terrified but he got angry and annoyed when I tried to confront him about it by calling and texting him multiple times and all he did was ignore/shut me down telling me I'm crazy and psychotic.
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* This article was originally published here
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