True that from the posts that you read from reddit, a cheater should not be let go off easily but to not trust you or believing others even before looking for facts and making assumptions on their own is a never an acceptable one.
Long story short, I(23M) was in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend (23F) for 2 years and to be honest it was a good relationship as far as i can see. We did not have much fights but we would always sit and talk through whenever we have issues and resolve them. I even get along with her family and she is also the same with my family. This is what makes this post even more hurtful as I post this. I would like an unbiased opinion on this matter.
I was having my birthday two months ago and my ex-girlfriend was planning on a party for me in surprise, which makes this all even more blindsiding when it occured. I was supposed to be at my place around 7.30 in the evening as per discussions with her prior to this to have a small silent party with only me and her. When I reached home, I opened the doors to a massive number of my friends and family including her friend, her parents and my parents. I was welcomed in to the celebration and i was taken aback but rather was happy for the surprise i got. I thanked all for coming to celebrate it. When going to cake cutting celebration, my girlfriends friend opened the cake box, it took me a second for what was written on the cake. It stated "Happy Birthday Cheater" i was shocked to see it and thought this might be an elaborate prank from them. What i didn't know is that my girlfriend telling me that she knows all about my affair and that she hates me and threw the cake in my face in front of everyone. Followed by which her friend (23F) said not to contact or disturb her anymore and they left leaving me with my friends and my parents. It was such a shock that it took me a while to come back to my senses to even contemplate what had just happened.
My parents told me that they were disappointed in me for doing such a thing and said to not contact them anymore as I had embarrassed them in front of everyone. My friends who i thought would believe me also sided with her leaving me alone at my house on my birthday. I sat the whole night thinking on what happened and I kept awake till late night not knowing what to do and i eventually dozed off.
To give some context ... No, i did not cheat and I work late everyday due to my work schedule and stress from around 9 to 9 or sometimes 10 in the night.
Anyway this happened two months ago and post which i tried reching out to my girlfriend numerous times with each time she disconnecting my calls and eventually blocking me altogether. Even her parents and friends blocked me leaving me with no way to reach to her. I went to her house hoping she would listen to me and I could explain things to her and also know what happened but she threated to call the cops if I don't leave her alone. I am an egotistical person and never for one to accept things if I did not do them. I left her and did not disturb her from then on. My parents too went no contact with me after this as my parents and her parents are close friends and do not want to break their relationship because my 'stupidity'.
Anyway, coming to last week, I got a call from my ex-girlfriend saying that she wants to talk with me. I was hesitant at first but wanted to know what this was about and hopefully understand what happened before my birthday. I told her that we can meet at a coffee shop not so far from my place and hers (we live in the same city and work in same area). I was hoping to get my closure and move on from her, as this was the worst two months of my entire life and I want it to end quicker.
I met her on the said day at the coffee shop, when I went in I saw that she was there with my parents and her parents and they left me alone with her to talk. I asked her what she wants to talk about, as I said this she started crying her eyes out, saying sorry profusely and apologizing for hurting me. I was taken aback, as I thought this was another chance for her to humiliate me. I asked her what she was sorry for and why was she apologizing to me. She told me everything that culminated to my birthday. She told me that it was her friend who told her that I was having an affair and I was lying to her about working late hours when I was going out with another girl. I asked her what made her believe that i could do this. She started crying again and said that she did not believe in the beginning but started to questioning to herself that I might be having an affair and that is when, 3 months back I promised her that I would take her to a fancy dinner and at the last moment I had to bail out due to work emergency. I promised her that I would make up for it but she thought I was having an affair with one of my co-workers and who was a good friend of mine at work, whom she always thought was attractive.
I was starting to get irate at this point and asked what made her realize now after all this time, she said that she happened to run across the said coworker and when she started arguing about her being a relationship breaker made the coworker get her to understand that nothing was going between them and that I was just a good friend and even showed all the conversations between her and me right then and there. This made her realize that she was just a friend and nothing more. I asked her what she wants to do now. She said that she wants to get back with me and is sorry for everything that happened between us in the last few months. Note that my parents and hers were sitting at a table not far from us and were eagerly awaiting my response.
I looked at her and the family disappointed and told her that there is no chance for us to reconcile as this was the most hurtful thing that someone has ever done to me. As said previously, I'm a person to put all my effort into something but when someone hurts me for something i did not do in the first place, I am a person to have the worst of egos. I left the place telling her not to contact me ever again. When I was leaving my parents and hers stopped me to rethink my decision as I was being full of emotions and taking blind decisions. I spat back their words at them that they and my ex-girlfriend took blind decision not to give me a chance to explain my side of the story but decided to go NC with me without hesitation. I told them to look in the mirror before calling out on someone else on their stupidity and left the place. Now, I've been getting calls from my exgf, families, her friends and my friends that I'm being an ahole for not giving her another chance, the friends and family who did not even hesitate to cut contact with me couple of months ago. I've decided to block them all and move on.
tl;dr My girlfriend embarassed and dumped me on my birthday because she believed that I was cheating on her with a coworker.
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* This article was originally published here
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