We’ve been arguing pretty much everyday for the past couple months he’s done with it and I’m done with it and it feels like we can never get on the same page, we break up frequently and he treats me horrible but I can’t find it in myself to leave him because of how low he’s brought my self worth. Tonight he called me fat ( I’m literally not fat I just have big boobs and a little tummy barely anything because I do work out ) he told me to “ shutup you fat b**** telling me he’s going to drag me out of the apartment by my hair if I don’t shutup I said I’m not fat while I’m balling my eyes out and he’s saying “ could’ve fooled me “. He just told me “ im tired of this negative relationship “ too and he’ll say the most hurtful things you could think of call me a “ dirty*hore” etc. I don’t know how to describe it but I feel stuck it feels like I’m losing so much more than just some random guy I’ve been with for 3 years, I’ve completely lost myself. it feels like before all of this he made me feel so protected and loved ( I didn’t have a dad growing up and the father figures I did have that my mom had around tall ended up leaving ) i don’t know if it’s related but it really feels like was healing me and also being older it’s so hard to leave him but I know I shouldn’t be with him. I have no self esteem left I’ve never felt so horrible in my life
and it feels like that was what he was planning to do all along ( it feels like at least )? in the beginning he was the perfect man but he was always talking about how I was too beautiful for him telling me he doesn’t deserve me he’d always tell me how beautiful I was etc. but overtime ( around a year) the compliments stopped and he started to say nice things like that less, and he started being horrible during our arguments. I find myself holding onto that man he was before.
I feel horrible about myself now. I’ve always been known for being beautiful and especially in high school. I didn’t believe it within myself but I know I looked good, I can’t get the things he’s said to me out of my head all my self esteem is gone and I know I need to leave him but it feels like I can’t. Please someone help me I feel so attached to this man but he’s absolutely horrible.
Tldr; my boyfriend calls me names
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* This article was originally published here
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