I [22F] have been seeing this guy [22M] for three months now. The first month we went on a date every week and it was lovely. It was going great until one day he asked me to meet up for and he told me about his ex he broke up with a few months back before we met. I knew about the fact that they broke up because she was too posessive and things were super toxic before. Apparently she found out he was seeing someone new and went ballistic, giving threats of su*cide and how she was going to ruin his life. Their families also are involved in a business together so the whole thing is quite complicated. He was really nervous while telling me all of this and said he was sorry that he got me involved in this and that I was free to move on if I wanted to. He said that he's having to talk to her out of responsibility but still that feels wrong when he's seeing someone he really likes.
He also said he really likes me and is really confused about how to handle all of this but knows that from his side, he wants to make it official between us when he can. He also told me he's not playing games and doesn't know how to and doesnt want to either. For my response, I thought about it and told him that since we both really like each other, I was willing to give him time to sort things through.
Its been two months since then and we have been texting everyday and meeting up irl when we can but we havent really discussed the issue w his ex. He's in my workplace so we do see each other often but we haven't been on a long date. The reason for that is that he's been having really bad stomach issues and since dates usually involve food, we've not been able to go and he told me last week that if things get worse, he might have to undergo surgery. But, he's been hanging out and going on trips with his friends!
Right now, he and I have been super busy with university and exams as well. He's been texting less frequently, with one word responses and he has shown me his schedule and it is pretty hectic, same for me and I communicated that as well. I guess the circumstances aren't really the best for the both of us since I'm going through some personal issues as well. But I cant differentiate if its him losing interest or if I'm just overthinking because he's been a little distant? The situation with his ex and the fact that he might be in some sort of communication with her does make me feel insecure sometimes since they're added om social media as well (he did tell me this though, without hiding). I think my main issue is that this is very new to me and I dont know how much back and forth is normal, in terms of going on dates and texting, especially in a complicated situation like this. Him going out with his friends but not me could be bcs of the fact that even if he's a bit unwell, its easier to handle when hes with his friends and less uncomfortable as it would be with a date?
Also since its been two months since I told him I'd give him time, I'm not sure how much of a decent time frame that is. I've kept myself busy as well but sometimes I tend to overthink. Maybe he's gonna communicate something once we're done with our exams and deadlines? Also, he's one of the top students in his class so when he says he's studying, its for sure that he's focused because it really does show in his grades lol.
Im just scared of being strung along because he's been less and less communicative and I'd really like it if he told me how he wants to take things forward. I could approach him but I'm not sure how to bring up the topic. I'm not sure if two months is a decent time frame as well? All in all, since this is new to me I'm super confused. Any perspective or clarity would be appreciated! I'm pretty sure I'm overthinking too much and I am finding ways to tackle that but I'm mostly confused about timing and how much communication is decent.
TL;DR? Pretty complicated situations for both of us and I'm not sure if its because of that or he's genuinely losing interest. My overthinking plays a part in it as well to be honest.
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