SLU pep band hires director amid rocky relationship with athletics St. Louis Post-Dispatch
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Monday, August 21, 2023
Sunday, August 20, 2023
Saturday, August 19, 2023
Is it cheating if I(24M) have had sex a short time before I started dating (22F)?
I know the title sounds absurd but please, keep reading.
I have been knowing this girl L for a couple years but have never thought much about her. We didn't really talk much.
Starting from June we "accidentally" started talking more and we started texting like once every two weeks or something (stupid memes and stuff like that). I also invited her to a camping trip in mid August.
In July an old friend of mine came to visit me and she confessed feelings for me. I told her I didn't want a relationship with her but she insisted in at least a test drive and, after a bit of pushing, I sadly accepted. In my mind I was not in a relationship and also I was not texting all that much L anyway.
After she left I went in the camping trip with L and others and we started getting closer and we went on a date a few days later.
Now, I want my relationships to be transparent but I feel like it sounds so bad to tell someone that I have had sex with someone else like 1 week and half before our first date. (Btw we only talked and walked on the date, I'm not going to Speedrun things but still)
What do you think? With a logical thinking I have done nothing wrong but morally I feel like I have betrayed her or something... Am I thinking too much of it? Thank you for the attention
Tl;Dr
Have had sex few days before starting hanging out with a girl, is it morally correct?
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* This article was originally published here
Friday, August 18, 2023
I regret the break up
I (21f) broke up with my broke up with my boyfriend (25m) and I’m not sure if i regret it or not? We were together for 3 years and some months. We had a break for maybe 1 week and We had a couple arguments but I miss him so much. I’m trying to date but it’s so difficult when you can’t get someone else out of your head. My ,now, ex didn’t treat me terribly or anything. He actually was sweet and tried his best, I think I just was over it. The first year I was in tears, We would argue about always simple things. I let things slide because he had never had a girlfriend before. I had to over communicate, and call his mom to make him understand what I needed. Even then it felt like he was halfing it. I didn’t feel loved and I don’t know why. Maybe it was the little things? Maybe I asked for too much?
TL;DR Don’t know if I broke up with my bf because of feelings or ‘simple things’.
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* This article was originally published here
Thursday, August 17, 2023
Losing interest or just circumstances?
I [22F] have been seeing this guy [22M] for three months now. The first month we went on a date every week and it was lovely. It was going great until one day he asked me to meet up for and he told me about his ex he broke up with a few months back before we met. I knew about the fact that they broke up because she was too posessive and things were super toxic before. Apparently she found out he was seeing someone new and went ballistic, giving threats of su*cide and how she was going to ruin his life. Their families also are involved in a business together so the whole thing is quite complicated. He was really nervous while telling me all of this and said he was sorry that he got me involved in this and that I was free to move on if I wanted to. He said that he's having to talk to her out of responsibility but still that feels wrong when he's seeing someone he really likes.
He also said he really likes me and is really confused about how to handle all of this but knows that from his side, he wants to make it official between us when he can. He also told me he's not playing games and doesn't know how to and doesnt want to either. For my response, I thought about it and told him that since we both really like each other, I was willing to give him time to sort things through.
Its been two months since then and we have been texting everyday and meeting up irl when we can but we havent really discussed the issue w his ex. He's in my workplace so we do see each other often but we haven't been on a long date. The reason for that is that he's been having really bad stomach issues and since dates usually involve food, we've not been able to go and he told me last week that if things get worse, he might have to undergo surgery. But, he's been hanging out and going on trips with his friends!
Right now, he and I have been super busy with university and exams as well. He's been texting less frequently, with one word responses and he has shown me his schedule and it is pretty hectic, same for me and I communicated that as well. I guess the circumstances aren't really the best for the both of us since I'm going through some personal issues as well. But I cant differentiate if its him losing interest or if I'm just overthinking because he's been a little distant? The situation with his ex and the fact that he might be in some sort of communication with her does make me feel insecure sometimes since they're added om social media as well (he did tell me this though, without hiding). I think my main issue is that this is very new to me and I dont know how much back and forth is normal, in terms of going on dates and texting, especially in a complicated situation like this. Him going out with his friends but not me could be bcs of the fact that even if he's a bit unwell, its easier to handle when hes with his friends and less uncomfortable as it would be with a date?
Also since its been two months since I told him I'd give him time, I'm not sure how much of a decent time frame that is. I've kept myself busy as well but sometimes I tend to overthink. Maybe he's gonna communicate something once we're done with our exams and deadlines? Also, he's one of the top students in his class so when he says he's studying, its for sure that he's focused because it really does show in his grades lol.
Im just scared of being strung along because he's been less and less communicative and I'd really like it if he told me how he wants to take things forward. I could approach him but I'm not sure how to bring up the topic. I'm not sure if two months is a decent time frame as well? All in all, since this is new to me I'm super confused. Any perspective or clarity would be appreciated! I'm pretty sure I'm overthinking too much and I am finding ways to tackle that but I'm mostly confused about timing and how much communication is decent.
TL;DR? Pretty complicated situations for both of us and I'm not sure if its because of that or he's genuinely losing interest. My overthinking plays a part in it as well to be honest.
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* This article was originally published here
Wednesday, August 16, 2023
My (f36) boyfriend ( M38) is accusing me of breaking my promise of buying him a new car and ruining his birthday
TLDR: My (f36) boyfriend Quinn ( M38) and I got into a heated argument because I won't buy him a new car with money I will get from a client. He's accusing me of financially lurching him and I'm upset over this. He says he's doubting my views on our romantic commitment.
I have finally pulled my business into the space I'd been trying to achieve for years. To be very honest, I'm rich "on paper". I live very simply and had very limited ability to splurge until a few months ago. Business is soaring for me in terms of contracts. I'm getting some payments but I need to be careful with this money. I'm not crazy about talking about money with love partners unless they are a fiance or husband, or a live in SO. My boyfriend isn't any of this, although I love him. He found out that my company got a contract about three months ago (via searching in Google), and he doesn't believe me that this money is only available once the client company launches its program. It's a smaller project, my bigger projects have not been made public. His behavior changed after this. We've had our problems, but this is hurting me. He joked that he needed a new car and I also laughed. I picked him up for his birthday and took him to his favorite restaurant. He seemed to be having a good time but acted cold and weird the next day. Because he criticizes me a lot, I got emotional and he lost his patience. He called me manipulative and selfish. This caused an argument in which he dropped the bombshell that I led him on about buying him a car. I was astonished when he said I'm letting him eat crap because he's still driving a 2008 Ford while I can afford to help him buy a new vehicle. I said I can't get into that type of transaction and he said I'm acting like I don't care about our commitment and that I can just get the car and we can share it. I left his place feeling drenched and demoralized. Part of our issues came from his fear of commitment, so his accusations have taken me by surprise. His car works okay. I feel pressured and anxious and would like good advice about talking to him about financial boundaries without making things worse. Whenever I try to reason with him, he immediately brings up that I was paid a lump sum just recently. Whenever he starts this conversation, I tend to zone out because it doesn't make any sense and because he won't hear me out when I say the money isn't available yet and I won't use it that way. Help??!!
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* This article was originally published here
Tuesday, August 15, 2023
Stoped talking after a petty argument
Hi, this is my first ever Reddit post, so please bear with me. I am just looking for an outside look to see what others think, sorry if it’s all over the place, but I’m just trying to summarise everything that happened.
I was talking with this girl (f20), and I am (m20), and we instantly clicked, and our personalities and views matched. The only thing is that she came out of two toxic relationships, the most recent one being two months ago. She likes to go out, and I'm more of a stay-at-home person, but I even went out of my way to go out to places I’ve never been to make her happy because I thought I had a future with her and wanted to see her happy and try change for her.
She told me I brought out her "inner child" and she felt so happy with me and how I treated her, she felt so "loved", I never yelled at her, put her down, or did anything of the sort that I think she experienced in her last relationships.
To start things off, we didn’t have any issues at the start; we were peaceful and civil, and we established our dos and don’ts and how we both view relationships, we both agreed communication was the most important thing, and we stuck to it.
Firstly on of the main issue is that she kissed her best friend at her party (f) and hid it from me because she was scared of how I’d react, and I acted like it was fine when it wasn’t because I really did love her, saw a future with her, and was willing to put it aside and forgive her.
Secondly, she wouldn’t listen to me to remove guys off her social media (snap) who were trying to get her to come over and obviously do things with her(apparently she had a phase). She eventually did, but it took a bit for her to even acknowledge and see what I was talking about. I’m not sure if they ever did things, but the things they were asking for pointed towards it.
I then told her I didn’t want her to go clubbing because 90% of times people go clubbing for a quick hookup with no strings attached, and she was going with all her single friends. She’s not going to sit there while they are hooking up and talking to guys. She even agreed to the points I was making. We then talked about it, and we came to the conclusion that it was fine because I really did trust her (I didn't want to go because the nightlife isn't for me and I don't drink, which I did say before we started getting deeper into our relationship).
Now coming to Sunday, we had an argument that I thought we could resolve, but nope, she didn’t even want to call me to try sorting it out, she just said she was feeling tied down and didn’t want to even talk to me anymore or want to continue building a relationship with me. She also said she met my family too fast when she wanted to come over, and I even told her they would be here, and she said it was okay and she even wanted to add my sister on snap.
I just feel like I was used for comfort and fed lies to keep me from losing interest. I had to always hear about everything her exs did, and she would always mention them no matter what even if we where having a moment to ourselves. I just feel so used and dumb for falling for it because I really did like her.
If anyone reads this or responds I’ll try my best to reply to any questions. TL;DR we stoped talking over a petty argument and now looking back at everything I feel used to help her fill in the “partner” role
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* This article was originally published here
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