Is it fair to only want to make sacrifices for your partner they'd reciprocate for you? (26F, 27M)

My bf and I have been LDR for 1.5 years, dating for 2 in person before that. I'm in Amsterdam, he's in the SF Bay Area. He got into a great grad school program there paid for by work, so it made sense for me to try to move back there. Now, I love Amsterdam. It's designed practically perfectly, I love how bikeable and human-friendly it is, and being able to travel Europe is amazing. So I did feel like I was giving up a lot here, especially because I'm 99% positive I want to return here one day to raise kids and I picture myself getting old here more than in the US. He was on the same page as that and knew how important it was to me, said he wants to move to Europe too when he's done with school (he's already an EU citizen). However, we were discussing this one day and he said that if he gets a job at the end of school that can afford him the lifestyle he wants in the US, he's not sure he'd be able to resist that, and that if I happened to get a job in Europe while he didn't, he doesn't know if he'd also move there with me if he doesn't get a job at the same time. This really shocked and deeply hurt me, as I had basically planned to give up living in this city I love for him, and to hear him say that he doesn't know if he'd make the same sacrifice really upset me, as I don't know how he could think of me as a life partner yet say that. Now I feel like I shouldn't go back for him if he wouldn't do something similar for me in the future. Is that wrong and immature of me to think? Should you only sacrifice something that the other partner is willing to sacrifice too?

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TLDR: I was willing to make a sacrifice for my bf, but then learned he wouldn't necessarily make the same one. His stance makes me not want to sacrifice for him either. Is that fair or am I being stupid?

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Tired of hot and cold behavior from co-worker. What do I do next?

I met someone on a speed dating event about 6 months ago and we got along great. Unfortunately because they had to leave for work we didn’t see each other for a few months but when we did it was really nice. Coincidentally they were moving to my town and my office also. After we met I asked how things were and if he wants things to be friendly and where he stood. He said ok and we can keep things friendly but keep hanging out and take it from there and see how we feel. Since then we’ve met a few times. He’s extremely flirty in person but sometimes has cancelled plans last minute. Sometimes he’s hot and cold - if i dont message he’ll message a lot but if I do he won’t message as eagerly sometimes. At this point I do want to date and explore things but I’m not sure how to go about initiating that conversation. How do I discuss this with him?

TL;DR: 30F 30M a person I dated is now working at my office. We said we’ll see how things go but I’m developing feelings. What should i do?

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Team Building Ideas 2023: How Mystery Games Strengthen Teams ... - Southwest Journal

Team Building Ideas 2023: How Mystery Games Strengthen Teams ...  Southwest Journal

* This article was originally published here

help:(

i (f27) met my fiance (m39) almost two years ago. we hit it off immediately and had an amazing connection and to this day, we have a few differences, but are mostly the same person. ive never felt so loved and close and intimate with anyone else. i love him more than anything.

we lived in different cities however and a year ago he asked me to move in with him. i was very unsure as i hate his city, though he has a lovely house and farm, and i absolutely loved the city i was in. all my friends are there, and its a bit bigger so more events happening etc. i also had a very good job there.

anyway i didnt want to lose him so i moved, but a year later now ive realised how miserable i am living there, i still havent made friends, and i have a shitty job bc its hard to find something here.

he is the love of my life, but i cannot live here and i dont know what to do.

if i stay, i will have him. if i go i will be in my favourite city, have my friends, more job opportunities.

but also if i stay i have to live in this poo hole, where i dont feel comfortable and at home. if i go i have to work full time and support myself alone (im mentally ill and my capability to work is greatly hindeded by it, and i fear managing on my own).

tldr; should i choose the love of my life and live an uncomfortable life, or my friends, favourite city, freedom and comfort?

any words of wisdom? 😭🙏

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Academia relationships

I've been following some threads on reddit regarding couples in academia, with one or both parties being post docs who constantly have to travel internationally between positions (especially in science fields but I've seen it in other fields as well).

I'm in one such relationship myself so I really would like to hear from people who are in the same boat. Like how do you manage the uncertainty this career path brings, like potential prolonged periods of LD and no clear future time or place to settle?

Is it very difficult to stay in one place as a post doc if your goal is to stay in academia? And is becoming tenured really the only option for stability? What does the road look like for such a relationship if the struggle for tenure means enduring uncertainty sometimes lasting into 10+ years?

To give some background, my (29F) bf (33M) is a post doc in nuclear physics, I'm a high school science teacher. Together 5 years, LDR for 4. Each research post takes him to a different place internationally and we dunno how long it will remain this way. We have discussed him entering industry and leaving academia, but he finds that idea saddening... He really has a "pure scientist's spirit" if that makes sense, I admire him for it. And I will never ask him to abandon his dreams, I love the nature of his job too. He similarly supports my career as a teacher and encourages me to go for further education on that even though that means I have to stay put for a few more years.

TL;DR I'm here asking for some insight into academia relationships. Like how to consolidate between the need for stability in relationships and the uncertainties that often come with post doc positions, like moving around internationally while trying to get tenured. Long distance etc. What does that road look like for you and your SO?

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Guy I'm seeing says he likes me but doesn't want to continue dating I don't know how to deal with it or how to feel about his reasons why

I (F25) have been dating this guy (M28) for over 3 months now. I’ve had a crush on him for a long time and we’ve been friends for almost 7 years before this. Recently we told eachother that we’re both falling in love with eachother. But he doesn’t want to continue dating because of (mental) health problems. He is chronically ill and spends a lot of time in the hospital, and often has to undergo surgeries and other treatments. I know that I don’t care and that I want to be there for him, he recently had surgery and I supported him through all of it and he told me how grateful he was for it and I felt very connected to him through all of it. But I feel like he’s trying to create some distance between us.

We both have feelings for eachother but he says we should distance ourselves from eachother because he doesn’t want to continue dating. He says that he has too much problems and doesn’t want to put them on me. I think it’s a stupid reason because I know I can handle it to be there for him and I don’t think this should be a reason to not date. His past relationship of 4 years failed because of this, when he was in a really bad state his ex-girlfriend cheated on him and got pregnant which was traumatic for him. So I can understand that he’s scared to get hurt. I don’t want to push him either. So I don’t know what to do now but I just don’t know how to accept the fact the we both like eachother and to just throw away the amazing connection that we have.

My friends say that I should give him space and that he will change his mind but I am scared to get hurt as well and I don’t want to continue waiting for someone who isn’t ready or too scared for anything. I just feel so bad to be in this situation.

Tl;dr: guy I'm dating likes me but doesn't want to continue dating because of personal problems. I don't know how to feel about it or how to deal with it

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'Love Island USA' confirms Same-Sex relationship in the villa - Hindustan Times

'Love Island USA' confirms Same-Sex relationship in the villa  Hindustan Times

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