Should I (24F) be paying more rent than my boyfriend(26M)?

I (F24) live with my boyfriend (M25) of 4 years in large city. We moved in together 1 year ago after I had recently gotten a very good new job, that increased my income. We currently pay $730 per week rent, which has been split $400 (me), $330 (my boyfriend).

For context I have been on $180k for the last year, an increase from my job for the year prior to that where I was on $65k Whilst my boyfriend has been on c.$80k.

Whilst I make a large amount more than my boyfriend, he has significantly more savings than me. I have $100k, saved up mostly from my last year working. My boyfriend has $190k, saved up from working, and also a significant recent investment payoff of c.$80k which his parents helped him with.

He believes that he “makes no money” and it is good to “have a security blanket” and I should continue to pay more rent. I am happy to pay a bit more, as I have done over the past year, however I don’t think it’s exactly fair to keep paying more given overall he has a large amount more money than me.

It is probably important to note too that I grew up in a lower income household and don’t have anyone else to rely upon for money except myself. I think I have a pretty good grasp of the value of money, I am very greatfull to have such a high paying job at a young age. My goal is to save as much money as I can whilst in this job for a house deposit to help set myself up for the future. Especially as my current job is very high intensity and I likely won’t stay in this job long term.

Whilst my boyfriend has come from a wealthy family who have supported him financially all his life (eg. providing investments, paying for his university degree) and still continue to give him c. $200 a week to help support him given he “makes no money”. He has a security blanket and can always fall back on them. I am understanding and happy he is able to get that kind of support from his parents although it frustrates me when he refers to himself as not doing well financially and me doing well.

Lastly, he is working in a job that provides very good exit opportunities and if he wanted could get another job likely around $150k. However, is currently pursuing athletics alongside his job and given the time commitment doesn’t want to leave his relatively flexible job.

Am I in the wrong for feeling this way? How should we be splitting the rent?

TLDR: I make more than my boyfriend but he is more wealthy, should I be paying more rent?

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Bf (35m) said I (32f) would look better from different angles

I’ve been with my bf for a few months, we’re long distance and have been doing a lot of video calls etc ;)

Last night after we had a really nice time being intimate he said words along the lines of ‘you look lovely but better from different angles, but that’s the same with everyone’. I was in a post-o bliss and didn’t really process what he said but now I’m really upset and hurt.

I’m a bit overweight, I’m curvy, had a soft tummy. I’m not unhealthy, but I enjoy food and exercise.

It’s not the first time he’s commented on my body and I’m starting to think he has some fatphobic thoughts.

He says he loves me but I can’t help think he can’t if he secretly doesn’t even like my curves and shape?!

TLDR: my bf made a comment on my body and now I feel really uncomfortable

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What should I do about my gf(20) guy bestfriend

Tldr: I was wondering whether I should try and push my girlfriend to decide whether to chose between me or her guy bestfriend and was wondering what would you do?

My girlfriend(20f) and I (21m) have been dating for about 4 months now.

Hi all here to ask for some other insight into my current troubles with my girlfriend of 4 months. There has been a guy friend who has honestly completely messed with my head and before you call me insecure or controlling please hear me out. So this guy who I’ll call B has been a good friend of my girlfriend from before we met and I’ve never had good feelings about B I’ve seen there previous chat logs and it’s all abdomen pictures and my girlfriend had also sent provocative photos in return (mind you this was all before I knew her) when I asked about these photos and what there relationship is like and whether I should be worried she shrugs it off tells me they had a “moment” one night and realised they didn’t find eachother attractive and didn’t do it again. Fast forward a week after that conversation my girlfriend and I had a small argument like couples do and she went to him for support, she told me what he said about the argument and what he thought about it to which I blew up and told her she shouldn’t be going to other guys about our problems to which she agreed and to my knowledge hasn’t done it since. Then I kid you not, not even a day later he “accidentally” sends my girlfriend a provocative photo to which I don’t find out about till about 1-2 weeks later. Obviously I was quite upset I wasn’t told and when I asked why I wasn’t told she said because she thought I was going to tell her to block him. To be fair as much as I’d like to say block him I can’t, I do not control her and it is entirely her decision she can decide what to do judging by my reaction to the situation and how it benefits our relationship. This was quite early in the relationship and during our relationship up till now I’ve definitely brought up concerns where I see her not giving me attention at all or shrugging my efforts to text him and her responses to me bringing up my concerns is usually met with silence, anger toward me while she completely defends him and claims he was there throughout all of her struggles. Fast forward to today I thought to myself while she was asleep whether the provocative photos I saw way early on were still there which led me to do something I hadn’t don’t before which was go on her phone and check there chat. I found every single photo they had sent before our relationship including the provocative ones. And what I found was there was so many more than I remember spanning from when they first started texting up till a couple weeks before I started dating my now girlfriend. Which has made me question whether it was “just a one night thing” and this is where my problem arises how do I bring this up to talk about with her and what my next move is. Thanks for reading desperately need another opinion on this.

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Harrassment or am I being dramatic?

I (19F) and my boyfriend (21M) dated for about three months andI recently broke up with my now ex-boyfriend. We met at the common institute and started dating after knowing each other for almost 2 months, we never really talked to each other during this period except the regular handshakes and "hey". We dated when a mutual friend introduced us to each other.

And here's the point, we were actually in a long distance relationship because of priorities back then and used to call and text. And I went to his home, he took me to his room and stated that he was 'turned on' and how I make him 'hard'. I told this guy that I'm uncomfortable. I'm the most insecure about my body and have struggled with this inferiority complex for years given the fact I'm suffering from an autoimmune disease that destructs the melanin pigment and as result you develop white patches on your body. I've shared the same thing with my now ex-boyfriend that I'm utterly insecure about the way I look and he seems to be okay (?) with that. However, he kept sliding his hands under my shirt and in my pants, to the point I even pushed him to please stop as I wasn't feeling okay. However, he didn't seem to budge. After coming from his home, I told him how badly he hurted me and I want to breakup with him for this reason as matter of fact if he can't respect my boundaries how will he respect me in future. But he told me he was excited and in the heat of the moment, he couldn't think straight. Our mutual friends explained me that a guy goes through this so you should probably give him another chance, which I did.

But it looks like my feelings were gone way back after that incident took place. It's some sort of assault and harassment (a few people on here might not agree with on that though) but I found myself loosing interest in him as each day passed and it ultimately lead me to breakup with him.

Idk if I've made a right decision or was I wrong for giving him another chance when my feelings were long gone. Thoughts on this..?

TL;DR broke up with my boyfriend who seemed to be sexually assaulting (?) me. Thoughts.?

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I understand why some women prioritize a partner they can have children with over a partner who loves them right.

My (32F) friend (35F) and I were talking this evening after dinner about our relationship history over the last year. She met the love of her life in June and is planning on having a child with him in the next 2 years, an unprecedented change for her from being avowedly child free for most of her life. As I listened to her talk about what that mental shift was like, I realized why I was so devastated over a short-lived relationship I'd had last year.

I had really wanted to have children with him. And I'd never had that feeling with anyone else. I knew he didn't love me the way I needed, and even though he ended the relationship with me, I cut him off for good after he reestablished contact because of this. But I was in touch with the fact that he did love me after a fashion, and that his life situation was conducive to having and raising children. I had watched him with his family and his 7yo cousin, and felt the "urge" for the first time in my life - including a former marriage to a man who, on paper at least, was perfect father material. Never felt the urge with him, and felt like I dodged a bullet when that marriage ended.

But yeah, I never wanted kids until I met that man this summer. I'm back to not wanting kids now. Closing the door on that relationship forever really felt like saying no to a completely different version of me. I almost felt like I could have chosen that life for a second, one where I wasn't loved in the way I needed or wanted, but one where I became a mother. It was frighteningly easy to see myself just accept the love he could give and flip a switch in my brain. I'd had a vision in my head the first night we slept together of me being heavily pregnant and pushing, and of him letting me squeeze his hand. It was absolutely indelible and profound.

But I said no to that vision. Over the last few months I've been realizing that I'm in love with a friend of mine (42M) and that he's in love with me. He loves me in the way that I need, in the way I've been longing for. I don't want kids with him, not really, not in the same way I wanted them with the ex. But I believe now that love is more important than having children. I won't have to choose like that ever again hopefully - but if I do, I know what I'll choose. Every minute of every day. That love fills me and completes me in such a way that I don't need children.

I get why women choose having children with an imperfect man whose love is either warped or non-existent, though. I almost did. It's tempting to feel that a baby will make up for what you're missing from your partner.

No regrets about my choice. But women who decide the other way... I feel you.

tl;dr it's hard to prioritize a perfect love over the possibility of having a baby with a good enough man, I get it now

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The Art of Maintaining Independence in Relationships - Essex Magazine

The Art of Maintaining Independence in Relationships  Essex Magazine

* This article was originally published here

I 18F need advice on stuff my boyfriend 20M does.

i have been with my boyfriend (20M) for 10 months now and hes been great, we have alot in common and hes a great guy, except for some things that he has done over the past few months.

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the first thing he ever did was like other girls pictures on instagram, and i know that doesnt sound like a big deal but i was so broken and insecure for months and i still am. i know he doesnt do that anymore but the fact that he did it just hurts me.

also he admited to getting off on another girl, he did that only once and at the begining of our relationship and i have forgiven him, but it hurts so bad.

then recently we got into a fight (the details of the fight arent important it was just me being insecure and scared hes still doing some bad stuff) after a while he started ignoring me which really hurt me alot since i hate being ignored more than anything else after he ignored me for a while i said sorry to him for starting a fight over me being insecure and he just said what do u want from me now i kept saying sorry to him because i felt so so bad but he just wont stop being mad at me.

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also sometimes i just feel like he doesnt understand me at all, like when something happened thats making me really sad, he just doesnt understand why im sad and just tells me to think more positive and thats all, i can never really communicate my feelings with him because whenever i do he gets mad at me and tells me i should just think more positive. i know it all may not sound that bad and maybe im just insecure and childish but its really hurting me, i always wanted someone that can listen to my problems and give me advice but all he ever does is tell me to think positive.

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so thats why i came here to ask for thoughts of other people. is it just me being insecure and its not that deep or is it really a problem in our relationship that we should work on. also the first things i said like liking other girls pictures, i said that so you know why i may sound so insecure. also he gets mad at me often for staring unneccesary fights about things that happened long ago, for example when i wanted to ask him something about the whole instagram liking thirst traps thing he instantly gets mad at me and says that its so unneccesary to talk about it because it was long ago and i just wanna start a fight, which isnt true most of the times i just want to know something and he instantly thinks i want to fight.

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TL;DR: my bf did questionable things like liking other girls thirst traps, getting off to another girl,ignoring me, instantly getting mad at me and thinking i want to start a fight when i just wanna ask something and i need opinons if im just being insecure or if it really is a problem and we need to fix it

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