Shoaib Malik and Sania Mirza divorce: Shoaib’s past relationships and what went wrong in the paradise IndiaTimes
* This article was originally published here
Sunday, January 21, 2024
Saturday, January 20, 2024
BF [20 M] lied to me [23 F] about meeting his ex / best friend
Me [23 F] My boyfriend [20 M] have been dating for 3 months, he has had one previous relationship when he was 18. He got me out of depression and to thank him I pay everything when we go out etc. also because I love him. He was the one who flirted first and wanted the relationship and I love you first.
His ex (also his best friend) was his first love, his first time sexually. She broke up with him, and became best friend. (They broke up 2 years ago)
Before dating, I set a boundary : I told him if we are on a relationship you cannot see her alone there needs to be one more person and asked if that is okay with him, he was skeptical at first but he finally agreed.
Long story short I saw that she hung out with him, and asked him if it was the case he then proceeded to lie and gaslit me through messages and then in person. After 1 hour of arguing face to face and added lies on lies he admitted they hung out just them two, they only went to the mall and grabbed something to drink. I saw the pic. Before all of this 3 months ago he told me « you can also meet her and you will see it’s only friendship ».
What action did I take that might be wrong ? : My boundary that I set might have been toxic and inconsiderate?
Why this action could make me the bad person here ? : As this might just be a friendship just like the others. Maybe that friendship I could not understand because of jealousy and insecurities.
Maybe I should talk to her ? In order to understand that exes CAN, in fact, be best friends and that even though he lied it’s because she is real friendship. To weigh my reasoning maybe I am acting just like for example spouses that forbid their partener to go clubbing or have male friends or wear cleavage. Maybe my jealousy made me do wrong and he lied cause he couldn’t take it anymore because to him seeing his friend is just a normal thing and he should not be forbidden to do that.
Or he is clearly still in love with her and using me ?
What do you think?
TL;DR! - : BF is best friend with ex gf (first love), she broke up 2 years ago. We agreed that he could see her but only with a third person. He lied and went to the mall alone with her regardless, I had to debate several hours to get the truth out of him. But maybe I am wrong bc maybe I am blinded by insecurities and jealousy and they are truly just best friends now. Please be honest, sending love
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* This article was originally published here
Friday, January 19, 2024
“TL; DR;: My boyfriend has not ever said I love you to me. What should I do?”
My (35f) boyfriend (55m) have been dating for almost a year now and he never once mentioned that he loves me. -I consider our relationship a great one cause we support each other, have the same sense of humor and make each other feel important.
-Whenever we have problems with each other we take our time to talk about it and find a mutual ground. -I sometimes get hurt that in this time of the relationship he never once said I love you to me even if I have said it to him multiple times. -He said, it triggers his anxiety due to past relationship traumas. What should I do? TL;DR.
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* This article was originally published here
Thursday, January 18, 2024
My husband (M44) gets overwhelmed by boundaries and rules that I have (F42)
I don't even think there's a word for this behaviour. I'll try to describe his behaviour and give examples. We've been married almost eight years.
Whenever I have a negative opinion or state a boundary, he will apply that to other related things in a general way even if I don't want him to. It's hard to describe but I think of it as a "blanket ban". He doesn't seem to be able to stop himself. It can happen for anything, no matter how small, and has resulted in me trying not to express opinions or, to avoid the situation, overly explain everything I say.
Example one: he likes to play pool with his friends. It's a great hobby, he has a lot of fun and meets people, and it gets him out of the house. Early in our relationship I said that it's great, but I'd rather he didn't do it more than twice a week because I'd like to spend time with him. A couple of years ago he started going out three or four times a week and I reminded him that I'd rather it be twice a week. He then stopped playing pool except for once a week or once every other week. Sometimes it's once a month. And he thinks I don't want him to play, even when I specifically say that I'd like him to and that he should. I think he resents me for it when he's doing something I didn't even want him to do.
Example two: I don't like to have sex right after eating (it's uncomfortable to me) or right before bed (it wakes me up too much). When I shared that with him the frequency went down to zero. This was approximately five or so years ago. We've had so many conversations after that where I've asked what was wrong and he pointed to my boundaries and said that he doesn't know what to do and is afraid to initiate. I've told him this is unacceptable. We tried relationship counselling for this one but it didn't work because it didn't address the central issue - his "blanket bans".
Example three: I believe in something not many people do. I understand it's silly, but ultimately harmless. Think crystal healing. I find it a fun things to talk about, so I have been wittering on to my husband about this for almost a year. A week ago he told me he didn't believe in it at all, and I was embarrassed and said I'd stop talking about it then. Since then, he has barely talked to me about anything other than food, etc., and told me this morning his feelings were hurt about it. I think he's taken my saying I'm not going to talk about crystal healing to meaning I'm not going to talk to him about anything at all.
These are the bigger things, but it seems to happen for almost everything. He reacts to everything I say as if it's some sort of criticism, and he overreacts. I tried to reach out and pat his shoulder today because he's been so remote and seems stressed, and he immediately said that he's sorry about his hair and he'll do better about it. I told him that I was just trying to express affection and I can't believe that he'd take it as a criticism. I feel like he's acting like I'm evil and mean and will yell at him about everything, even if it's small. I don't know where he got that impression. I am very reasonable and nice and have only been upset with him a handful of times in our eleven year relationship.
Counselling: yes, we tried couples counselling, didn't get anywhere because they didn't address the central issue. He tried individual counselling but I think he only talked to them about stress at work. I haven't seen any improvements at all.
My individual counsellor says there's nothing wrong with me, but I am becoming depressed. Which isn't surprising. I don't want to divorce my husband. I love him.
TL;DR! - Husband catastrophises everything, is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can have longstanding consequences. Is there anything I can do in this situation other than counselling because we tried that and it didn't work?
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* This article was originally published here
Wednesday, January 17, 2024
I 22M dont know how to act about my 23F girlfriend actions
Hello,
TLDR: girlfriend who use drugs without me
I'm dating girl for 9 months. We are doing great, love each other, care about each other, considering about living together. She got good carreer, have a degree. But.. i'm worried about her past. Her last 2 years was a mess when she found out that her long time boyfriend had slept with her friend. After breakout she partied a lot, did amount of drugs, had one night stands while on drugs.
Both her and me are rave, festival fans. I had doing drugs in my past also. In a past couple a months we had couple raves, did some drugs together also. Right now she reduced amount of parties. But in a couple of weeks she is going alone to another city to visit her good friend, because she divorsed with her boyfriend and want to talk in person, spend some time together and also to go to big event of rave together. I know there will be a lot or coke, maybe mdma.
I know how it is, preparties, parties, long afterparties, where sometimes are unknow people.
So, to put it simply i dont know if i trust her honestly. Divorsed good friend who will be doing a lot of drugs while my girlfriend also will not resist. That sounds like a plan to break from the chains that evening.
What should i do?
thank you, sorry for bad english
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* This article was originally published here
Tuesday, January 16, 2024
I M18 DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MY GF F19, COZ OF INSTABILITY IN RELATIONSHIP
Hey, fellow Redditors, I'm in need of some advice regarding a situation in my relationship, and I hope you can offer some insights. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and lately, we've been facing some challenges that lead to frequent arguments and temporary breakups. One of the significant issues revolves around the topic of intimacy.
To provide some context, my girlfriend has expressed her desire to take our relationship to the next level, specifically in the form of a physical connection. However, I've been hesitant, emphasizing the importance of stability in our relationship before taking such a step. My intention was to ensure that we establish a strong foundation, minimizing the chances of regret or complications down the road.
During a recent conversation, I conveyed that I wanted us to overcome our tendency to engage in unnecessary arguments and breakups before introducing the element of physical intimacy. I expressed concern about the possibility of either of us regretting our choices, especially after witnessing my girlfriend grappling with feelings of regret regarding her first kiss with a past toxic ex. Somewhere deep down I am scared of sex, I don't know why. it scares me. i just need time to accept my body and come over that fear
Unfortunately, it seems my words were misunderstood, and she perceived me as a coward and a potentially regretful partner. This misinterpretation led to an emotional breakup, and now I'm left trying to clarify my perspective.
I want to make things right and ensure she understands that my intentions were rooted in a desire for a stable and emotionally secure relationship. Any advice on how to effectively communicate this to her would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: I MALE 18 DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MY GF FEMALE 19, COZ OF THE INSTABILITY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, AND FEAR OF SEX THAT I HAVE COZ OF THE INSECURITIES ABT MY BODY
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* This article was originally published here
Monday, January 15, 2024
Boyfriend never picks up my phone calls no matter when I call
Doesn’t matter what time of the day, he never picks it up.
I’ve (29F) voiced to him (28M) many times that it annoys how he never picks it up and he says his phone doesn’t vibrate and he only sees it if he has his phone on his hand. However, he has literally ignored my phone calls even when on his phone. Sometimes he’ll call back sometimes he completely ignores it and texts hours later as if nothing happened.
And it’s not like I call him multiple times, I just call once a day to say goodnight or once every two days. Or if we need to solve something quick and I call rather than text.
He calls me sometimes too and I may have missed one or two phone calls and that’s it.
I’m not concerned about cheating, rather more about how he’s dismissive about it. I’ve asked him if he doesn’t like it when I call or if I should and he said he does like it, but if he picks it up 1/10 times I’m lucky.
He can change his phone to vibrate yet he chooses not to.
I’ve tried searching similar situations here but only happens when the partner is upset or if it’s abusive, in my case, we can be blissfully having the time of our lives and he’ll still not pick it up on the day I call 💀
Is this something worth discussing about? I feel silly as it’s just a phone call but at the same time I feel as if I’m repeating myself to a wall and he doesn’t seem to care that it bothers me. Apart from that the relationship is great, but I feel like I’m an annoyance, when in reality calling your loved one is a normal thing, with him I feel like I’m a weirdo or something.
TLDR: boyfriend never picks up phone calls
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* This article was originally published here
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