How do I (M29) get over the fact that my girlfriend (F29) isn't conventionally attractive?

Julia and I matched on an app and one of the first things I noticed were that her pictures had been very flattering. But we'd gotten along well and by the end of first date, I was hooked. We've been together for almost a year now and I never thought I could love somebody this much. For me, the more I like someone the more beautiful they become and because of her strength, her passion, her kindness and so much more I do genuinely believe that she's beautiful. Sometimes I'll just look at pictures of her and smile. It's early on but I want to give her the happiest days of her life.

I'm worried I'll ruin it by being dumb. I'm a conventionally attractive guy, and Julia's the first person I've been with that doesn't really fit the mold of a "typically attractive" person. I've introduced her to some of my friends and I've worried that they'll judge me (which is stupid, they're good people that look beyond appearances). When I see picutres of us together I sometimes think "I'm the hot one and that's okay" or "I've been with people who looked better". When we're together I call her things like beautiful and sexy and wonderful and unstoppable (all of which are true), but I don't say things like "gorgeous" because it feels like lying. I've seen pictures of celebrity couples where one is physically stunning and the other is physically "okay" and I've thought "See? We can just be one of those couples". I don't think physical appearance is important beyond the early stages of dating, and I am very attracted to her, physically and emotionally because of who she is and the way she makes me feel. But I know she'd be devastated if I told her about these thoughts. Can I get over this or should we break up?

TL;DR - I love my girlfriend but she isn't conventionally attractive. How do I get over my social conditioning?

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* This article was originally published here

Am I just stressed about the future with my boyfriend or am I unhappy

I (26f) have been dating my boyfriend (23m) for almost 5 years now. The relationship wasn’t bad all in all, we click really good. We did have many fights but we get over them quite quickly… This summer we’re planning to make some life changing decisions that really depend on us being together. So like, we won’t really have a choice to stay together after that (we will be moving to another country and we won’t be able to survive financially without each other). It’s both of ours first relationship so we have no experience or anything to compare this to. I know he loves me a lot and I do love him too but it stresses me out to have this kind of pressure and I keep wanting out of it, even though every time I imagine my life without him I get so sad. Also , if we break up before this summer, we won’t be able to be together because he will go back to his family (we met as international students in uni and he told me that his parents won’t let him leave after he comes back to his country- they are very strict). So I’m so confused right now because I really don’t know what to do, we also have different life experiences, where I had jobs since I was 16 but his family didn’t let him have any so he has no experience, he’s also not the best student or learner and I’m so afraid that it will create so many fights because as it is I feel like so much is on my shoulders… also my parents will be supporting me and my cats for as long as I need, whereas he will have no support, but he’s very good at saving money and has some savings, where I am the worst at saving… I’m also so afraid to break up because I want to believe in the first love thing but sometimes I’m really not sure I’m happy but as I said , I can’t compare it to anything else… I’m like happy 4 days out of 7 generally and then 3 days I’m miserable and overthinking everything. I’m a very strong overthinker. Is it normal for people to have these doubts 5 years in? Or is it a big red flag? How can I stop overthinking and be sure this is the right relationship for me?

TLDR: I’m not very sure I’m happy or maybe I’m just overthinking it , but also I’m very stressed about the future with my boyfriend, even though it has been 5 years that we’re together.

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* This article was originally published here

Rekindling the Spark: Love Languages and Attachment Styles in Relationships - BNN Breaking

Rekindling the Spark: Love Languages and Attachment Styles in Relationships  BNN Breaking

* This article was originally published here

For those of you who continued a long term relationship with someone you initially felt you were sexually incompatible with. Do you feel you made the right decision?

I (M31) have met an amazing girl (F27). We're not quite exclusive just yet but she ticks all the long term qualities I'm looking for in a SO. Except there's one problem. I don't feel we're quite "compatible" in the bedroom.. it's hard to describe but essentially it's always a very awkward experience whenever we become intimate. Without going into too much detail I struggle with her lack of "ques" as she's very quiet and not vocal at all about the things she likes when we're in the heat of moment.

She always tells after the after the fact she enjoys what we do but as someone who's a little more use to being with people who give a bit more feedback while things are happening, I'm really struggling to not feel like I'm doing a shit job which is starting to mess with me mentally. We've been trying to communicate about all this but there's been little improvement so far.

I'm worried that if things don't improve long term and I commit to this girl that I won't have a very fulfilling sex life and I'm concerned this may create some kind of resentment (which of course wouldn't be her fault. She's just being who she is).

For the record I don't look at her as just an object. I really enjoy taking care of her, taking her out, cooking her dinners etc.. I guess I'm just a little more use to a bit of a spark in the bedroom.

Has anyone here ever stuck it out with a partner long term with some doubt they might not be fully "satisfied" down the road? Do you regret your decision? Any advice is appreciated.

TLDR: Met an amazing girl. Not quite feeling things in the bedroom. Considering committing to her long term but worried I may have an unsatisfied sex life with her down the road and may regret my decision.

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* This article was originally published here

My (29M) partner (28F) of 6 years wants to end our relationship

This is my first time posting on reddit and my head is still a bit all over the place so I'm sorry if this sounds stupid.

I'm hoping for some advice on how we can stay together but give each other enough space to grow as people.

When we first got together she had only just recently gotten out of a different relationship. From what she has told me she has actually been in steady relationships from when she was in her teens. I had been single for almost 6 years at the point when we meet.

One of the main reasons she want to break up is she feels she has never had the time to be herself and find out who she is or what she wants. Over the years I feel like I haven't helped with this because we have pretty much been joined at the hip. Anytime one of us is going to do something the other is always there. It was never me or her it was always us. At the time I didnt realise just how upsetting this was to her or how she felt like she had no independence.

We only broke up on Saturday and are still living together. She had asked for some space to let things settle before we talk again and I've been trying to give her that but it's hard when all I want to do is hug her and tell her I understand.

I want to give her the space she needs to find herself but I also dont want to lose the person that I love.

At this point I think she has made up her mind and I'm trying to respect that and be okay with it but more than anything I just want the chance for us to talk and get through this somehow.

I still want to believe that we can have our independence and grow as people but work through this together somehow. But I also don't want to make her feel like I'm some weight around her neck.

I'm just afraid I've realising everything too little too late.

I'm sorry for the long and rambling post. I just needed to say this somewhere I'm losing the person I love and dont know what to do anymoew

TLDR: my girlfriend want to break up because she want room to find herself. I want to give her that but also don't want to lose her.

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* This article was originally published here

Top 20 items lovelorn Brits keep hold of from past relationships - The Mirror

Top 20 items lovelorn Brits keep hold of from past relationships  The Mirror

* This article was originally published here

Am I being delusional?

My(19M) friend(20F) told me that I'm too possessive of her. We have known each other for 2 years.

I told her that I don't like her talking too much with other people. While I realise this is a little unhealthy, I can't do anything about these feelings.

She's in the college council, so she has to interact with a lot of other people. She assures me that I'm closest to her in college, I don't really believe that.

It's concerning to me that she can easily make me do anything she says.

I didn't talk to her or even look at her for 2 weeks when I felt that she was behaving a little differently towards Me. But I caved in with a single word from her.

Now I'm feeling like shit again and don't want to talk to her.

I not very good at any type of relationships, I'm a very childish and jealous person. I listen to advise from others but, i doesn't matter, my brain doesn't accept anything that it doesn't like.

What do I do? How do I change?

Tl;Dr: I'm delusional about people and need help.

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* This article was originally published here