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Saturday, February 10, 2024

Am I just stressed about the future with my boyfriend or am I unhappy

I (26f) have been dating my boyfriend (23m) for almost 5 years now. The relationship wasn’t bad all in all, we click really good. We did have many fights but we get over them quite quickly… This summer we’re planning to make some life changing decisions that really depend on us being together. So like, we won’t really have a choice to stay together after that (we will be moving to another country and we won’t be able to survive financially without each other). It’s both of ours first relationship so we have no experience or anything to compare this to. I know he loves me a lot and I do love him too but it stresses me out to have this kind of pressure and I keep wanting out of it, even though every time I imagine my life without him I get so sad. Also , if we break up before this summer, we won’t be able to be together because he will go back to his family (we met as international students in uni and he told me that his parents won’t let him leave after he comes back to his country- they are very strict). So I’m so confused right now because I really don’t know what to do, we also have different life experiences, where I had jobs since I was 16 but his family didn’t let him have any so he has no experience, he’s also not the best student or learner and I’m so afraid that it will create so many fights because as it is I feel like so much is on my shoulders… also my parents will be supporting me and my cats for as long as I need, whereas he will have no support, but he’s very good at saving money and has some savings, where I am the worst at saving… I’m also so afraid to break up because I want to believe in the first love thing but sometimes I’m really not sure I’m happy but as I said , I can’t compare it to anything else… I’m like happy 4 days out of 7 generally and then 3 days I’m miserable and overthinking everything. I’m a very strong overthinker. Is it normal for people to have these doubts 5 years in? Or is it a big red flag? How can I stop overthinking and be sure this is the right relationship for me?

TLDR: I’m not very sure I’m happy or maybe I’m just overthinking it , but also I’m very stressed about the future with my boyfriend, even though it has been 5 years that we’re together.

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* This article was originally published here

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