I wanna come on here to vent and get your guys' input on this...did I make the right decision? Any thoughts would be appreciated :)
But basically, I met this guy at the start of uni in September and we've been best friends ever since. I started to like him early on but that didn't make the friendship awkward or anything. Actually, we're so very close it almost feels like...soulmates. I don't want to be cliche or anything but that's really what it feels like.
We both express our *platonic* love for each other and we're so happy we met. We say I love you and he expresses how much he cares for me and how much I mean to him. I'll never forget when he told me that he doesn't know if he can have a life without me in it, and that I complete him.
So that's the thing...he says these things which, from an outsider's POV it might look like he's in love. But he's always just been so affectionate and I can't help but fall for it. We've been clear with each other on how things actually are though. He broke up with his ex around 2 months ago so he's not ready to emotionally invest in someone else.
The thing is we've been physically affectionate with each other for some time now, and almost regularly exchange texts about cuddling, kissing, and generally just doing physical things with each other. But to him it's just physical and a good time and I understand that so the fact there's no emotion to it stopped bothering me and I was just having fun myself.
Recently though he started to like a girl from our uni, and it had me raising questions because of his recent breakup, I thought he didn't want to be with anyone yet, and we've known each other longer and have shared so much, connected so much and feel super comfortable with each other. So I guess it made me feel like...why not me? But I understand it's not intentional and we simply just feel things.
Anyway he revealed to me that they recently started to be physically close as well, like holding each other and a few kisses here. Though I've been preparing myself for this time it still hurts and it's been bothering me. Today, he started with the usual cuddly/physical texts and as much as I want to engage with them, it makes me feel weird because he already likes someone else, so I feel like we're in no position to be doing this. To add, they're not in a relationship because the girl is kind of unsure if she wants to be with him, though she does like him back.
So I suggested that we take a break from speaking to each other for like, 2-3 days? I just feel like I need to remove myself from this situation for a bit. I told him he might be okay with being this way with multiple people but it just makes me feel weird/uncomfortable, and he said that I'm the only one he does it with. I don't know if I made him feel bad by saying that.
At the back of my head I'm wondering if this will make us grow apart? If things will be a bit different later on. But I just know this space is something I need, idk what else will follow after. He likes someone else, after all, I'm not the main focus. But in the past, anytime we don't talk for a while he'll come looking for me. He literally becomes restless and just HAS to talk to me. He tells me he can't sleep without me saying goodnight. I don't know if it will be the same now.
TLDR; taking a break from talking to my best friend who i like, who likes another girl, because boundaries are blurred, did i do the right thing?
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