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Saturday, February 17, 2024

How to not be resentful of your partner making a lot of money?

For context, my partner was fresh out of flight school when we met, I was just starting my associate’s degree. We supported each other through financial hardships for a couple of years until he got his CFI and attained enough flight hours to join an airline as an official pilot (well, FO). Anyway, I took some time off of school and coasted on the money we were making while he was flight instructing and just recently decided to go back. Well, he would rather I get a job and pay half the rent so he can put money towards his credit card debt he accumulated a few years back that has been gaining interest (which I understand), but has since started moving his money into another bank account and insisted we separate our finances… I can’t help but think this is his way of pulling away from the relationship and am resentful of the fact that he is hiding money now that he makes an exponentially higher amount than when we were together, meanwhile I am trying to figure out how to get enough money together through loans to go back to school. I am currently living in an apartment he is paying for but have not seen him for almost a month due to the fact he is on reserve. Though, he insists we are still together yet cancels any plans we make to see one another. How do I deal with feeling like he is being avoidant and waiting for me to leave? I am currently working part-time as a security officer and making close to minimum wage, meanwhile he is making what I believe to be around $80k/yearly… I am both embarrassed and ashamed to say I am envious and spiteful of the entire situation. Am I wrong to feel this way?

tl;dr: partner got a job as a pilot that makes almost $100k 5 years after we met and is never around anymore and I feel left behind while they fly around staying in nice hotels. trying to get into flight school to catch up…

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* This article was originally published here

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