I just want to preface that he isn’t hostile or misogynistic in his claims, he is pro-choice and he’s never disrespected me or hurt me in any way. He isn’t disgusted by periods, pregnancy and other things, and he trusts me when I state my preferences in bed. Things he has said seem to be rooted in ignorance, since in my country there’s literally no sex ED at all. The only woman in his family is also his mom, so, there’s that.
Some examples: 1. Before we had our first time (which was also the first for me) he asked, sheepishly: “What if your hymen is too elastic and we won’t be able to break it?”. 2. When I was having my monthly mental breakdown before my period (granted, I struggle during that time), he asked: “Is this normal? Shouldn’t you see a doctor because you get mood swings?”.
3. We were watching “Quiet place”, where a pregnant woman (and mother of three) is shown to measure her blood pressure in a post-apocalyptic setting. He said: “Wow, she must be a doctor of some sorts! She seems to know what she’s doing”. One of our friends then mentioned that she’s literally pregnant with her fourth, so it’s pretty expected of her to measure her blood pressure. He took a moment to think and said “Oh, yeah. That’s right”. 4. During a discussion he said “egg cell” when meaning “uterus”. After we cleared that out, it seems like he thought those were the same thing? As in, “a cell that contains eggs”. 5. We had an argument where, after a pretty insensitive joke from his friend, I said that “vaginas don’t permanently stretch or get loose”, and he started arguing about semantics and mentioned that “a vagina permanently stretches after childbirth”. I left that conversation because it was too much, and I still wonder wtf that was. It happened like a year ago.
I know these are all pretty harmless, but I have to admit I’m a bit embarrassed that he doesn’t know some stuff I personally consider common knowledge. I once sent him a video (a short 3D animation, nothing graphic) about how the female body functions monthly, and he said he didn’t really want to watch it. I didn’t push, but it kind of made me sad that he isn’t curious about those things. I am honestly wondering if I’m in the wrong.
Should I get off my high horse and just deal with it? It doesn’t really harm our relationship in any way, and I feel like me thinking he’s ignorant is me being a douchebag. But it’s also not like I know everything about male bodies, either.
TL;DR: The title. By boyfriend seems to be ignorant about female anatomy, but it doesn’t manifest in any harmful or negative behaviors. Though it bothers me that he doesn’t understand how my body works and says pretty stupid stuff sometimes. Should I bother bringing it up or is it better for me to chill out and let him be?
Any thoughts? 😬
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* This article was originally published here
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