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Thursday, February 22, 2024

Me 25M and my 28F Fience. How to take care of the baby when both parents work? [UK]

Hello everyone,

Overall our relationship is quite healthy in our opinion. We didn't had a single fight for nearly 2 years since we started dating/living together. We do communicate we just don't get angry with each other.

She is really too optimistic(that she thinks there will not be much issue with sorting out time for the baby and she will be able to get a job from home after the birth) and I'm totally opposite

The issue is my Fience is working in a factory so she needs to be in office all the time and her PhD will not count as she done it for her mum and don't want to do anything relating to it.

All that means she really don't have work experience so I'm quite nervous about her having chances of getting remote job as well as the fact that she stutter quite a lot that i personally don't mind but i know how jobs works and they wouldn't really want like custumer service having issue speaking with cosutmers. She knows English perfectly but her stutter kind a underline it.(Maybe I'm wrong about how jobs operate due to my pessimistic way of thinking)

I'm perfectly fine with her decision about not wanting to have job in the carried that her mum has chosen for her and overall i don't mind what job she does as long as she is happy about it but sadly full time in office will not work for rasing baby in our situation.

I currently work remotely as IT support but i will need to change my job in couple months due to agency contract.

I do try my best to find another full remote work but doesn't seems to be able to find anything. Meaning that i will have to be in office like 2/3 times a week.

My mum is working full time as well so she will not be able to help us really with taking care of the baby and my fience mum is not living in the country nor speak the language.

That said our families cant help us with this. After the age of 5 of the baby it will be easier as she will be able to even work part times and drop off/pick up kid from schools. The issue is before that age on how to deal with it.

She earns minimum wage and i earn slightly more. I don't earn enough for her to just leave her job so that option is out of the question. I do trying to quit smoking as i do spend nearly 1/3 of income on it that is insane and i know.

Only one thing is that she told me lately that she still have her own house in her country as due her father inheritance(He passed away when she was little) her mum bought 2 houses for herself and daughter(my finece). My Fience is trying to sell her house now so i can get a bit more mortgage and buy house in the country we live in (UK). She would get around £100,000 for that house. If we buy a house we will want to buy a bigger one to don't have to move in a future so i was planing to get like 50,000 mortgage that with our current earnings it would be no issue paying it off but now I'm thinking maybe it would be better to hold that money for the time she will not be able to work?

TL;DR; : Fience work in factory and i will have hybrid job. How to take care of the new born baby utill age of 5 when family cant help.

I would really appreciate any advises!

submitted by /u/ThrowRAspare77
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* This article was originally published here

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